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Original poster

Is anyone happy with what they get for child maintenance?

162 replies

greipfaa · 04/01/2023 19:40

I have another thread on this and can’t link it. Feeling frustrated and deflated and like the piss is being taken. Ex has huge savings and about to give up a high paying job. So apparently our daughter has nothing from him.

OP posts:
lacey79 · 04/01/2023 19:45

I get £29 a month for now 2 it was the same amount for 3 until last summer. He owes thousands from when he was working. I would do collect and pay, when it was about to start as it took 6 months, he would swap jobs, and if have to start the collect and pay. For 18 months he claimed he wasnt working. I went through all the loop holes and reconsiderations to prove he was. They tallied it all up and set a monthly amount. Now he claims benefits so the thousands owed gets ignored and i get £29 a month out of is benefits. I also know he got a very large 5 figure inheritance which is also not considered despite the thousands he owes. Where as i work as much as i can to ensure they have not only what they need, but summer holidays and nice Christmas's etc too.

So in short, no. £29 is actually insulting compared to how much i provide for my children.

TheLastDreamOfTheOak · 04/01/2023 19:53

Yes. I get slightly under what the CSA suggests. But I'm lucky in that exh earns a lot and so I don't chase for the actual figure .

There really needs to be a better system that somehow ensures that People can't just hide savings etc so they don't have to pay. It's not fair at all.

Original poster
greipfaa · 04/01/2023 19:55

@TheLastDreamOfTheOak can I ask what you get roughly? I just wonder what people think would be reasonable with rise of living costs in particular. 600, 800, more? Our heating bill was 280 this month, for example, and the house has to be warm for DD

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Brotherlove · 04/01/2023 19:56

Once UC is claimed to 'top up wages', the payment automatically drops to £7 per week.
It's criminal it really is.

Original poster
greipfaa · 04/01/2023 19:56

@Brotherlove what that’s absolutely crazy?

OP posts:
SpinningFloppa · 04/01/2023 19:57

No I receive nothing for 4 children. I’ve seen people getting £500+ a month for one kid ( some getting a £1000 a month) and yes I would be happy with that.

FfayeN · 04/01/2023 20:04

It's all relative to how often the Dad (or Mum as it may be) has them in comparison to the primary cater. The payment is worked out on how much more time you have them than the other. So if you share custody 50/50 you would get nothing, which is right. I do however disagree with how they work it out anyway. It's either too little or too much: such a prehistoric process. I don't know the answer...I just know the way it is now is flawed.

TheLastDreamOfTheOak · 04/01/2023 20:07

900 for two DS's. But I'm aware that's a high figure in terms of maintenance. Exh earns basic 150k. He also gets a large yearly bonus between 30 and 50k after tax which isnt taken into account (rightly so really-we have been divorced 7 years so it's nothing to do with me-I supported him in his early career-in fact I was the higher earner whilst he qualified for his job, so I don't feel guilty about the actual maintenance but I wouldn't touch his bonus now even if I could). I earn 30k ish.

We were meant to review the payment yearly but we never have and I've never pushed for it as I feel it's enough. I also work etc, but we live in an expensive bit of the country-so the 900 quid doesn't quite cover housing the boys. But it does mean I can manage with my salary as well.

I suppose it's not about what things cost but what the paying partner can reasonably afford. And that's an issue when it's fairly easy for them to be dishonest.

Original poster
greipfaa · 04/01/2023 20:09

@TheLastDreamOfTheOak 900 for two on 150k is low though isn’t it? Do you mean you agreed it between you and you’re happy with it?

I asked my ex to agree something between us but he wouldn’t.

OP posts:
TheLastDreamOfTheOak · 04/01/2023 20:11

I have the boys 70% of the time and I also work shorter hours as someone needs to be home for DS2 after school as even though he is 15 he is unfortunately something of a renegade and can't be trusted in the house alone currently (but that's a whole other thread!)

TheLastDreamOfTheOak · 04/01/2023 20:14

We agreed it between us 7 years ago and it's not been changed since.
CSA calculator suggests it's a tad low-but not by much. When I last checked it was something like 990. I don't want to rock
A steady boat by quibbling over it-as for me it's enough.

napody · 04/01/2023 20:14

It's not right that fathers get away with not paying with absolutely no consequences. It should be treated the same as benefit fraud, or at the very least damage credit score.

TheLastDreamOfTheOak · 04/01/2023 20:15

You might need to go for financial Mediation then op...run the numbers through the CSA online calculator to give you a good idea...

NewYearSameOldMeButFatter · 04/01/2023 20:20

My lovely ex was working full time, I was still getting a pittance as I had 4 kids, but they only pay for up to 3.

Then he claimed financial responsibility for his girlfriends kids, so I got less.

Then they figured it out that he could go very part time and look after her kids and I would get pennies and their household income would remain the same.

The system sucks.

TeachesOfPeaches · 04/01/2023 20:22

You can get a deduction order to get money from savings OP. Do you go via CSA?

Original poster
greipfaa · 04/01/2023 20:23

@TeachesOfPeaches what’s a deduction order? I’ve only gone to cms …

OP posts:
Original poster
greipfaa · 04/01/2023 20:23

@NewYearSameOldMeButFatter that’s awful!!

OP posts:
Narwhalelife · 04/01/2023 20:40

I get £250 per month for one child, we agreed this when we separated - no CSA or CMS, exH earns £35k a year, one other child who’s 20 so no longer pays for them.

He has our child 1-2 nights per week, I’m flexible with this as is her as we are both shift workers.

I earn more than him (did so for the last 5 years of our relationship) so wouldn’t expect anymore from him. He buys our child clothes and treats when he has them so I think it’s fair

lacey79 · 04/01/2023 20:56

I have mine a 100% since he chose to go NC in 2015 and still only get £29 a month. The system is disgusting.

unicornsarereal72 · 04/01/2023 21:00

I do wonder how many families would be lifted out of poverty if there was a more robust system
I'm sure there must be a percentage of families who if they had the amount they are entitled too would take the strain of other services such as food banks etc. Be able to enrich their children's lives with extra activities and healthier diets etc.

Im meant to get £540 per a month. An adequate amount. I would happily settle for £400. Which I was getting for a while but mostly it's nothing.

Something needs to change but it won't happen.

PearPickingPorky · 05/01/2023 08:22

They need to give the CMS some teeth. If fathers don't pay, then credit score gets impacted, driving licence and passport gets revoked, and ultimately, prison.

They also need to close the loopholes re job-hoppers and self-employment.

And the £7 a week needs walked up. If the dad then "can't afford to feed himself" then that's preferable to the child living in poverty, and the dad can do something about it.

gogohmm · 05/01/2023 08:33

£840 a month for 1 child at university plus I pay the dog's costs. Private arrangement as over 18. Reducing to £600 this month as no longer paying for other dd and she's moved out properly now. Unlike many ex couples we actually talk

Boooooot · 05/01/2023 08:38

225 a month for 1. Private agreement but I am tempted to go through CSA as he definitely will have had many promotions over the last 8 years and he has zero contact with her.

OnlyTheWeedsGrow · 05/01/2023 08:50

1 DC, I have 100% of the time, CS is less than £20 a month.
Plus, I have to supervise contact (1 - 2hrs a week) and travel for it.
Ex often asks to borrow money, and regularly posts on social media of the lovely meals out he has (which would cost more for 1 of them than a month of CS).