If your friend told you…

[Paperdolly]

If your friend told you she was having an affair would you share that with your husband?

No, I wouldn't. If they wanted to tell him they could do that themselves.

Someone told me something in confidence in 1991 and I still haven't repeated it to a single soul. Nobody would care mind you but still

Oh yes, I tell my DH everything. But that's because he always forgets everything I tell him anyway!

No

No. And I didn’t tell him, he doesn’t really know my friend so if I tell him it’s just gossiping

No

Nope, no chance. And I wouldn't dump the friend, either.

I would tell my partner. My friends are wonderful, but they're the next tier out with my partner and I in the centre.

My DH isn’t the most discreet of people. So no, I probably wouldn’t. Depends on the friend and how well he knew them…..

Yes, unless they specifically asked me not to. I wouldn't share if someone had confided a health issue to me though, I see an affair more as gossip, but also know DP wouldn't say anything.

No she told you in confidence not you and your husband. How would you feel if you told her something and she told someone like another friend? You might not think it’s the same but that’s not your decision

Had this recently and no I didn’t tell. Honestly if I was really struggling with it (for whatever reason, I can’t think of any tbh) then i wouldn’t berate myself for telling either

No and I didn’t tell him. I respect confidences.

No, wouldn't tell anyone.

Completely agree!

Yes

No we have separate brains agma are separate entities. A secret is just that. Unless you get permission, I would keep it to yourself.

Most here seem to think you need to share everything

No

I’m aghast at the number of people who, told stuff by gfs in confidence think it’s ok to tell their Dh. I hate it when people do this! Your gfs are not telling your husband, they are telling you. In confidence!

I agree!

I’m not sure if I’m disgusted at these women or pity them.

What’s ironic though is that I bet there is so much stuff that their DH doesn’t tell them.

If you are going to tell someone someone’s secret then the very least you can do is tell that person that you are planning to tell their confidential information to your DH, your mum, kids, best friend or the post man etc.

I might.

But everyone who knows me knows that I never promise not to tell DH. Part of my parents childhood abuse tactics was to tell secrets and then I’d be punished by the other for not telling. They also told me inappropriate secrets as well.

I’ll never, ever put myself in the position of not being able to share with DH if something is troubling me or weighing on me.

Definitely not.

I'd rather not have been told in the first place, though.

What a bunch of hypocrites

Breaking confidence and being 'oh so virtuous' about it.

No
I'd keep it quiet. My DH is not 100% able to keep a secret amd I don't feel I must share everything.

This. And I would never tell anything of significance to someone who thought their spouse was somehow included in ‘in confidence’. If I want your spouse to know something I’ll tell them, or ask you to.

Absolutely not,

my best friend’s husband is my DH’s best mate.
and it has nothing to do with me, butt out.

Probably, on the basis that he wouldn't tell anyone and that I shouldn't have been required to keep secrets from him - particularly ones that are upsetting.