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Original poster

DH has been fired and I need talking down

201 replies

Zorrita · 03/01/2023 16:18

DH was pulled into a meeting this afternoon to say they were letting him go. He had a few issues with his direct boss (this is a separate issue and we will be going to ACAS), been in the job less than a year and it was decided he didn't gel with the team. Nothing bad that affects his employability or that will prevent him getting another job pretty quickly.

What I do need are practical tips on what we can do now while he looks for employment. What can I do in the immediate aftermath of this to soften the blow? A few things for context:

  • We have about 4-5k coming to us but that will take a month or so I believe, and have minimal savings (about 2k)
  • DS (1 year old) is literally starting nursery next week. We've paid the first month but not sure how we could afford to keep him in until DH is employed again
  • We have put a Universal Credit application in as our income has now more than halved
  • Applied for council tax reduction but not sure we will qualify
  • DH is not shy about what he does - he is happy to go back to stacking shelves while he looks for something else
  • I am in secure employment with a big company

Is there anything else I need to do practically that will help our situation? If it comes to it I believe my Dad will be able to support us for a couple of months but as I am sure many will understand it's embarrassing having to ask and I would much rather do everything else I can first before I borrow from him.

Please be gentle. I am feeling rather fragile right now and I don't need anyone adding to this already awful feeling.

OP posts:
Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 03/01/2023 16:23

Sorry this has happened.
Practically- as your DH isn’t work proud, get him to sign up with local agencies for warehousing work etc. plus go through your household expenditure and see if there are subscriptions etc you could cancel or get cheaper (phone contracts).
If you run two cars - can you sorn/moth ball one temporarily?

ThreeRingCircus · 03/01/2023 16:27

Is he being fired with immediate effect? They should be paying him for his notice period and any proportion of unused holiday (appreciate this won't be a lot if his holiday year runs Jan to December.) Is the £4-5k his payout from work, in which case I'd get him to request that this is paid in the January payroll if all is going to be done and dusted by then, explain the financial situation.

That should tide you over until he can pick something up. If he's not proud and happy to stack shelves or get warehouse work then he could get something pretty quickly while looking for a more permanent role.

SkylightSkylight · 03/01/2023 16:29

wow, you've moved quickly on all those things! Well done.

you could call the nursery & ask if you can reduce DS's hours due to DH's redundancy, but you expect it only to be short while, so will need full time hours again shortly. They might (understandably) say no, but they might say yes if they're struggling with staff & ratios you can only ask.

obviously cut down on caviar in the shopping. Use up stuff you already have, before buying new/different stuff.

are there any phone/tv packages you could out/down?

cut down on unnecessary fuel (walk more) and don't buy anything you don't absolutely have to! Like lunches when you're back at work.

main thing is to get job applications in.

can you do any paid overtime?

JangolinaPitt · 03/01/2023 16:33

Obviously a shock but - universal credit???? You have a secure job to support the family and a 2k buffer. He can get a job tomorrow if he signed up with an Agency.

PoinsettiaPosturing · 03/01/2023 16:34

What's your budget & bills like on one salary?

DH and I know that we can cover the mortgage and utilities on one income, but not a loan payment and fuel expenses. So we need 1 salary plus £800 a month to live on as a minimum break even inc food/travel.

You need to work out what this figure is for your household

gogohmm · 03/01/2023 16:36

There is plenty of work starting immediately, he needs to print out cvs and head out to the high street. He then needs to apply for longer term employment

girlmom21 · 03/01/2023 16:38

JangolinaPitt · 03/01/2023 16:33

Obviously a shock but - universal credit???? You have a secure job to support the family and a 2k buffer. He can get a job tomorrow if he signed up with an Agency.

£2000 is one months average salary. If they normally live off two, and are just starting to pay full time childcare, that won't last long.

girlmom21 · 03/01/2023 16:38

OP do you own or rent? Consider a mortgage holiday if you own.

Cornelious · 03/01/2023 16:40

Could you ask nursery to postpone dc start date so dh can have them at home and you save a month nursery fees?

Topee · 03/01/2023 16:47

What’s your monthly shortfall with your salary alone?

If he’s truly not bothered about what he does then an agency will likely be able to find him work by the end of the week.

Manicpixidreamgirl · 03/01/2023 16:53

JangolinaPitt · 03/01/2023 16:33

Obviously a shock but - universal credit???? You have a secure job to support the family and a 2k buffer. He can get a job tomorrow if he signed up with an Agency.

Ignore this. This is what UC is for.

ShimmeringShirts · 03/01/2023 16:55

You won’t be eligible for UC with £4-5k coming in, UC is reduced by 55p for every £1 you earn with a benefit cap on top, just so you’re prepared. Have you spoke to CAB to see if he can claim new style jobseekers? They don’t take savings into account so he should be eligible for that instead. Hopefully your DH can pick up work quick and this doesn’t put you too far into hardship, loss of a job is never easy to deal with.

Porcinimushroom · 03/01/2023 16:55

Manicpixidreamgirl · 03/01/2023 16:53

Ignore this. This is what UC is for.

Show quote history

No it’s not. It’s for those who can’t get jobs or earn enough to support their families. Is it fuck a savings bank to tide folks over. Are you out of your mind?

Catspyjamas17 · 03/01/2023 16:57

Will he not have to work out his notice so effectively has at least a month to look for something else?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 03/01/2023 16:58

OP hasn’t got the 5k yet, apply for UC to see, I don’t know if you qualify Op.

incomings and outgoings would be helpful to see if we can help there?
how difficult is it for your DH to get a job in the same sector currently?

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 03/01/2023 16:58

Perhaps this is for further down the line - but working tax credits might help if your DH gets another job but it’s lower paid?
(No personal experience of this as not eligible)

GerbilsForever24 · 03/01/2023 16:59

Ys to all the suggestions already. I assume he has been paid end December? Any pay out he receives should be paid out end January or, alternatively, they should pay usual salary at end January and the rest of the pay out later, depending on the agreement. If it's all effective immediately, then pay out should be made immediately too.

Obviously, reduce all unnecessary expenditure. You could ask nursery if you can delay starting but they might not be able to facilitate. But ask - it might be that they are willing to offer fewer days or whatever.

Depending on what he does, if necessary, find top up work in the short term. Although I'm not certain it's as easy as all these people saying "by the end of the week". But if nothing else, it means money coming in down the line.

Look at your current budget for food, entertainment, subscriptions etc and see what you can cut. I'm always a bit shocked at ad hoc expenditure and where it can be lowered. A colleague used his time off between jobs to do a massive eBay selling clear out. Not sure if that's an option but he told me he'd been amazed at how much he had lying around that could be sold and that he then started doing it once a year. I've lost contact with him but I'd put money on him being a regular Vinted user these days! Grin

If you own, a mortgage holiday IS an option but I'd hold fire on that for a few weeks while you suss out the lay of the land as there are longer term costs associated with it.

ShimmeringShirts · 03/01/2023 17:00

@OnlyFoolsnMothers no but they take earnings into account from the first date of application, including the OPs earnings. They also ask about expected income, and they will absolutely take it into account when it’s received meaning the award will be cancelled due to having too high an income and the OP will need to apply again.

@Alphabet1spaghetti2 tax credits are not open to new applications, it is UC you are referred to now.

CatJumperTwat · 03/01/2023 17:01

Have you done the sums to see what shortfall you'll have each month?

girlmom21 · 03/01/2023 17:01

ShimmeringShirts · 03/01/2023 16:55

You won’t be eligible for UC with £4-5k coming in, UC is reduced by 55p for every £1 you earn with a benefit cap on top, just so you’re prepared. Have you spoke to CAB to see if he can claim new style jobseekers? They don’t take savings into account so he should be eligible for that instead. Hopefully your DH can pick up work quick and this doesn’t put you too far into hardship, loss of a job is never easy to deal with.

The £4-5k is going to be a one off payment

Tinner01 · 03/01/2023 17:02

Porcinimushroom · 03/01/2023 16:55

No it’s not. It’s for those who can’t get jobs or earn enough to support their families. Is it fuck a savings bank to tide folks over. Are you out of your mind?

Show quote history

Agreed

ShimmeringShirts · 03/01/2023 17:03

@girlmom21 unfortunately that won’t matter, the £4-5k income for one month puts them over the top of being able to claim, the claim is closed and they need to reapply the next month, waiting another 5 weeks to receive their award. It is unfortunately incredibly shitty and puts so many people into financial hardship, the system was never designed to cope with fluctuating incomes and really needs to be reworked so people are not finding themselves unexpectedly over the top.

KatherineJaneway · 03/01/2023 17:03

First things is update his CV and sign on with temp work agencies. What line of work is he in? Is it good for temp jobs?

girlmom21 · 03/01/2023 17:04

ShimmeringShirts · 03/01/2023 17:03

@girlmom21 unfortunately that won’t matter, the £4-5k income for one month puts them over the top of being able to claim, the claim is closed and they need to reapply the next month, waiting another 5 weeks to receive their award. It is unfortunately incredibly shitty and puts so many people into financial hardship, the system was never designed to cope with fluctuating incomes and really needs to be reworked so people are not finding themselves unexpectedly over the top.

Sorry, I thought you thought she was earning that every month. You're absolutely right!

Soontobe60 · 03/01/2023 17:04

JangolinaPitt · 03/01/2023 16:33

Obviously a shock but - universal credit???? You have a secure job to support the family and a 2k buffer. He can get a job tomorrow if he signed up with an Agency.

A secure job could be minimum wage. Isn’t this what UC is for?

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