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Original poster

DH has been fired and I need talking down

201 replies

Zorrita · 03/01/2023 16:18

DH was pulled into a meeting this afternoon to say they were letting him go. He had a few issues with his direct boss (this is a separate issue and we will be going to ACAS), been in the job less than a year and it was decided he didn't gel with the team. Nothing bad that affects his employability or that will prevent him getting another job pretty quickly.

What I do need are practical tips on what we can do now while he looks for employment. What can I do in the immediate aftermath of this to soften the blow? A few things for context:

  • We have about 4-5k coming to us but that will take a month or so I believe, and have minimal savings (about 2k)
  • DS (1 year old) is literally starting nursery next week. We've paid the first month but not sure how we could afford to keep him in until DH is employed again
  • We have put a Universal Credit application in as our income has now more than halved
  • Applied for council tax reduction but not sure we will qualify
  • DH is not shy about what he does - he is happy to go back to stacking shelves while he looks for something else
  • I am in secure employment with a big company

Is there anything else I need to do practically that will help our situation? If it comes to it I believe my Dad will be able to support us for a couple of months but as I am sure many will understand it's embarrassing having to ask and I would much rather do everything else I can first before I borrow from him.

Please be gentle. I am feeling rather fragile right now and I don't need anyone adding to this already awful feeling.

OP posts:
Frazzledstar1 · 04/01/2023 19:25

You should be able to claim new styles Jobseeker’s Allowance. It’s not much about £145 every 2 weeks (or it was when I had to claim it a couple of years ago. You were also allowed to work up to 16 hours a week whilst claiming it so if he can’t find anything full time in the interim he could work part time and claim it. Something to think about

Porcinimushroom · 04/01/2023 19:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

?? Huh? She hasn’t mentioned discrimination, whistleblowing etc, and it’s 1 year, so what case? I’m assuming you’re not a solicitor as this would be against code of conduct, so you are a consultant?

Morgysmum · 04/01/2023 19:29

Hi that's crap for you guys. But hopefully he gets a better job which he likes.
Do you have any dets? If you have, I would ring step change. Its a debt management company.
They don't charge its all free, they will help you with a budget and can arrange a debt management. Where all your debts are paid, but at amount that you can afford. You might not need this, but they can help you, with different options.

Isahlo · 04/01/2023 19:36

Tinner01 · 03/01/2023 18:28

i just don’t think it should be the first option, sure If he still is out of work in a month.

Show quote history

The wait for UC is 5-6 weeks if they wait a month, you’re looking at potentially a first payment mid March (if they apply in a month the assessment period runs 5th of feb to 4th March + You wait 6/ 7 days to get your payment after your AP is up so that’s bringing you to 11.3

thats a long time.
and those time scales are if you can get the application in fully with all the info and their are no hiccups
you need birth certificates, photo id - tennancy/mortgage info/ all bank statements and kids info, birth certs ch Ben entitlement etc

brst to start early

LovelyLisa2 · 04/01/2023 19:37

UC is calculated per tax year so be careful with that. They will make you pay anything back immediately…

OMGIAMAMUM · 04/01/2023 20:02

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sgtmajormum · 04/01/2023 21:12

Go to turn2us.org.uk they have an excellent benefits calculator which would give you an indication of any benefits you could claim.

Cut down to essential spend only. If you do that how much are you short by a month on your income? How long will the £4-5k plus your £2k savings then last to top up your shortfall? You may find it's longer than you think.

Talk to mortgage/loan companies. Explain the situation. See what short term assistance they can offer. If you talk to them upfront they are usually very helpful.

But above all this is a short term blip. Your partner will get another job. Do you just have to shore yourselves up until that happens.

Carrie19230 · 04/01/2023 21:13

He sounds eager to work,he will have no problem getting another job, try not to worry, it will get sorted out soon,life is too short to work with an unhelpful boss!

Zazazoolly · 04/01/2023 22:55

JangolinaPitt · 03/01/2023 16:33

Obviously a shock but - universal credit???? You have a secure job to support the family and a 2k buffer. He can get a job tomorrow if he signed up with an Agency.

They are perfectly entitled to UC! They are doing what they can to tide them over this uncertain time. Lucky you who can look down your nose and judge others.

Isahlo · 04/01/2023 23:20

LovelyLisa2 · 04/01/2023 19:37

UC is calculated per tax year so be careful with that. They will make you pay anything back immediately…

No it’s not it’s calculated monthly within your assessment period and you can arrange a payment plan if you’re overpaid
each month is treated in isolation, unless you’re a student. So there in theory should be much less in the way of errors /overpayments

stop scaremongering

Tallguy101 · 04/01/2023 23:43

This has happened to me a couple of times so I will add my wisdom here. First thing is to get a specialist employment lawyer to review what has happened. There may be a claim. Can DH ask for an ex Gracia payment as part of the severance? Next, update CV and start applying for jobs in his field. Apply for JSA, he should be entitled. It isn’t much but it will help. If possible get severance via PILON so that Hubby is paid off, gets a clean break and can start work the next day. The lawyer will help with this. Most lawyers will give you a fixed 30 min review of a situation like this for £75 +VAT. Money well spent - PM me for my Lawyer details. Next, cut the TV package - get rid of it and just have the free channels. Ditch Amazon Prime too. Anything that is non essential to ‘life support’ gets canned. If you run 2 cars could you SORN one for a few weeks and just live with 1 car and public transport? Mortgage holiday should be the last resort in my book. But most of all don’t panic, cut your expenditure to the bone and you will be amazed how far the money will go. Good luck to your DH in the job hunt, lots of jobs out there at the moment. The temp agencies will keep him busy until something else comes along.

EricNorthmanYesPlease · 05/01/2023 00:58

Zorrita · 03/01/2023 16:18

DH was pulled into a meeting this afternoon to say they were letting him go. He had a few issues with his direct boss (this is a separate issue and we will be going to ACAS), been in the job less than a year and it was decided he didn't gel with the team. Nothing bad that affects his employability or that will prevent him getting another job pretty quickly.

What I do need are practical tips on what we can do now while he looks for employment. What can I do in the immediate aftermath of this to soften the blow? A few things for context:

  • We have about 4-5k coming to us but that will take a month or so I believe, and have minimal savings (about 2k)
  • DS (1 year old) is literally starting nursery next week. We've paid the first month but not sure how we could afford to keep him in until DH is employed again
  • We have put a Universal Credit application in as our income has now more than halved
  • Applied for council tax reduction but not sure we will qualify
  • DH is not shy about what he does - he is happy to go back to stacking shelves while he looks for something else
  • I am in secure employment with a big company

Is there anything else I need to do practically that will help our situation? If it comes to it I believe my Dad will be able to support us for a couple of months but as I am sure many will understand it's embarrassing having to ask and I would much rather do everything else I can first before I borrow from him.

Please be gentle. I am feeling rather fragile right now and I don't need anyone adding to this already awful feeling.

Lidl is recruiting all.over the country and they pay well.

Depending on your location, you maybe able to apply for a water discount, but sounds like you have done everything else. As for nursery, could you ask them to delay the start date?

LovedFedAndNoonesDead · 05/01/2023 05:08

Hi @Zorrita,

A couple of suggestions and a little information that may be of help.

If you can, switch the lead carer for your children over to your DH - this will change requirements for him regarding attending the job centre and what formal job seeking activities he will be required to undertake - this will stand until your youngest child is 3.

As you’ve applied for UC, get a headed paper receipt including their Ofsted registration number from the nursery for the payments you’ve made upfront. They won’t pay towards the deposit or any payments specified for items other than hours attended (so meals, consumables or ‘quality premium’ whatever the nursery call it) but should pay for any hours used during your assessment period that haven’t been ‘paid for’ by the tax free scheme. You will also be informed that you can’t use the tax free childcare scheme now you’ve applied for UC but that should just close and any entitlement to childcare switched to UC. Also, if your older children are in after school schemes that are Ofsted registered, the same goes for claiming childcare fees back. There is a maximum that will be paid in any AP - 85% of charges up to £646 for 1 child or £1108 for 2 or more.

Savings or capital over £6,000 will reduce your claim by £4.35/£250 (so, if you have £7,000 in total savings/capital once you receive the inheritance, you’d have £17.40 deducted from your UC payment). Just be sure to do a change of circumstances when the money is paid out. If your savings/capital goes below the threshold then let them know and keep any receipts for large purchases such as white goods or vehicle repairs. You may also find yourself using savings to cover childcare over any amount paid for by UC or if your DH is not working for a couple of months - again, that is a legitimate use so keep
any receipts (having had to wait for DC to start nursery, you do not want to be in the position of not having childcare to send him/her to when DH starts a new job!)

Lastly, good luck to DH with job hunting and, fingers crossed he’s in a new job in a few weeks time. When my DH’s last contract ended in March last year, he was employed, and started, a new job 5 weeks later so only had 1 month without an income which did trigger appointments with the job centre until his wages went in and showed on our UC claim.

LovedFedAndNoonesDead · 05/01/2023 05:10

Oh, and be aware that nJSA is deducted £ for £ from UC, so you may be better off with him not applying for it and just sticking with the UC application.

luluw41 · 05/01/2023 06:59

My husband has lost his job 4 times over the last 13 years and was most recently made redundant last month. It is very hard on both of you I know, especially if you have a family to support.
He may well be due a tax rebate but I think he will have to wait until he’s been out of work for 4 weeks. Get him to call his tax office for details.
This is a good place to look for practical help.
www.turn2us.org.uk/
You will find a checker that will help you to understand if you can claim universal credit and when. From what I remember you should be eligible if you have under 6k in savings, but timings will be important (I notice you are expecting a lump sum).
Is his job in a sector where he can pick up freelance work perhaps?
Losing a job is a form of grief and can have long lasting repercussions so take care of yourselves. Wishing you the best of luck. X

JFDIYOLO · 05/01/2023 08:10

You both sound brilliant. Great thanks hat he's kept those threads up with recruiters - time to start politely and positively pulling. Sounds like he will be finding it not to hard to get a role on his field. All best.

JFDIYOLO · 05/01/2023 08:13

I meant 'great that'!!!

angela99999 · 05/01/2023 10:43

It does take a long time for UC to come through, my daughter is on it, so the sooner you apply the better.

Flippingnora100 · 05/01/2023 14:10

Sorry this happened to you, OP. My DH lost his job on 1st December so I understand. We calculated that with his severance we can keep going as normal until the end of Feb. We aren’t slashing spending yet (we have savings), but all energy is going into getting another job by the end of Feb so we don’t have to dip into savings. I would change hours at the nursery as a last resort because you’ll need the childcare if he gets another job. If he absolutely goes for it with searching for a job, hopefully he’ll find something soon. Just try to stay calm and stay in a positive head space if possible. Best of luck!

Flippingnora100 · 05/01/2023 14:26

PS Just saw he’s a web developer. He should be fine. There’s a lot of demand for his skill set. Good luck!

Flippingnora100 · 05/01/2023 14:36

Another thought: in tech, contacts are everything. It’s so much easier getting an introduction than going in cold. My DH (in text) has 3 x solid leads for jobs all from people he knows. Make sure your DH lets his contacts know he’s looking. Many may offer to introduce him to their LinkedIn contacts.

Catlitterqueen · 05/01/2023 17:35

@Zorrita I was made redundant at the end of lockdown. Like your dp I wasn’t shy about what job I did and was lucky enough to have another job (albeit part time) before my notice finished.
We claimed UC as DH was on a low wage and my earnings were reduced. The claims process takes a long time and we weren’t entitled to much but having always paid NI there was no shame in taking what we were entitled to. Six months later I had a full time job with a better salary.
Just wanted to wish you luck really x

MyNDfamily · 05/01/2023 17:55

Could you share the names of the co's

Cottagecheeseisnotcheese · 05/01/2023 18:40

just check his contract if he is paid until end of January he may offically be on gardening leave and not allowed to work elsewhere,
you can get non means tested job seeekrs for first 6 months based on enough national insurance contributions it is about 156 pounds every 2 weeks but it won't start till february as he is being paid for january