Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

DH has been fired and I need talking down

201 replies

Zorrita · 03/01/2023 16:18

DH was pulled into a meeting this afternoon to say they were letting him go. He had a few issues with his direct boss (this is a separate issue and we will be going to ACAS), been in the job less than a year and it was decided he didn't gel with the team. Nothing bad that affects his employability or that will prevent him getting another job pretty quickly.

What I do need are practical tips on what we can do now while he looks for employment. What can I do in the immediate aftermath of this to soften the blow? A few things for context:

  • We have about 4-5k coming to us but that will take a month or so I believe, and have minimal savings (about 2k)
  • DS (1 year old) is literally starting nursery next week. We've paid the first month but not sure how we could afford to keep him in until DH is employed again
  • We have put a Universal Credit application in as our income has now more than halved
  • Applied for council tax reduction but not sure we will qualify
  • DH is not shy about what he does - he is happy to go back to stacking shelves while he looks for something else
  • I am in secure employment with a big company

Is there anything else I need to do practically that will help our situation? If it comes to it I believe my Dad will be able to support us for a couple of months but as I am sure many will understand it's embarrassing having to ask and I would much rather do everything else I can first before I borrow from him.

Please be gentle. I am feeling rather fragile right now and I don't need anyone adding to this already awful feeling.

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 03/01/2023 19:44

Catspyjamas17 · 03/01/2023 19:42

Surely DH will still get paid his notice though, so will be paid this month?

Yes they should have waited to claim UC until last wages have been paid or it's likely to just cancel out any entitlement. However the claim will stay open.

Ginflinger · 03/01/2023 19:47

Agree with PP re consider applying for NS JSA as well as UC in a dual claim. Benefits adviser may know more.

Ginflinger · 03/01/2023 19:48

Best of luck with it. Lots of work around. Sure your DH will be up and running again in no time.

Letitrainletitrainletitrain · 03/01/2023 19:52

If he has a previously unblemished work history he should be fine

My dH didn't pass a probationary period in a job last year. After a previous work history where he stayed with employers for 5+ years he found interviewers presumed his previous workplace were to fault rather than him

My Dh got a new job within 2 weeks and has been far happier and less stressed out. I hope your DH has the same luck.

VladmirsPoutine · 03/01/2023 19:58

Can you expand more on why he didn't gel with the team? What were the differences and how did this result in his firing? They're on very shaky legal ground if the argument is that everyone liked to do a tea round but your DH doesn't drink tea so never offered or something equally silly.

TeachesOfPeaches · 03/01/2023 20:06

@VladmirsPoutine what legal ground are you referring to? You have very little legal protection if you've been employed for under 2 years unless you can prove some sort of discrimination. Passing a 3 month notice period is meaningless.

VladmirsPoutine · 03/01/2023 20:10

@TeachesOfPeaches Precisely, what grounds did they take? He seems to have been there more than just 3 months so whatever the issue was must have been ongoing.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 03/01/2023 20:18

You won't qualify for UC. Especially if you are working too.

Get him out on the ground and looking for jobs.

America12 · 03/01/2023 20:20

ShimmeringShirts · 03/01/2023 17:03

@girlmom21 unfortunately that won’t matter, the £4-5k income for one month puts them over the top of being able to claim, the claim is closed and they need to reapply the next month, waiting another 5 weeks to receive their award. It is unfortunately incredibly shitty and puts so many people into financial hardship, the system was never designed to cope with fluctuating incomes and really needs to be reworked so people are not finding themselves unexpectedly over the top.

They have a 4-5 k payment as a one off coming , that's not their income.

Nancydrawn · 03/01/2023 20:20

ChaliceinWonderland · 03/01/2023 18:53

This is shame for you but you know plenty of us mumsnetters are single parent who live on a single income. You are 2 adults with 1 child, I am 1 adult with 2 teens. WE survive on my 21k wage., with diffculty.
When the food runs low just, well, don't eat and borrow food from colleagues lunch vouchers at work. Its easy when you know how. count yourself lucky to have another adult, adulting, and able to get a paid job tomorrow, ( indeed is your friend) and spare athought for us middle class yummy mummies who live on 1 wage alone, and top up from UC.

She has three children, not one. Two are of school age. Five people on one medium salary is hard going. It's not a difficulty top trumps.

Iceicebabytoocold · 03/01/2023 20:31

His ex employers should pay him his notice so check they are doing this.

it is an employees market at the moment so I am sure he will get a new job soon. What about parcel delivering as it might work to you favour if he can fit it around childcare. Good luck x

venusandmars · 03/01/2023 20:42

If you are confident that he will get a job and that this is a genuine short-term cash flow issue, and if you have good credit ratings, could you look at getting a 0% credit loan? There will be a fee (c £300 for a £10K) loan, but I have done it in similar circumstances when I really needed some breathing space but was confident of the longer term ability to earn sufficient.

It all depends on your money spending approach though. Never take out a loan if that would lead to the temptation to spend, you have to be able to put it aside for the repayment.

daisychain01 · 03/01/2023 20:49

VladmirsPoutine · 03/01/2023 19:58

Can you expand more on why he didn't gel with the team? What were the differences and how did this result in his firing? They're on very shaky legal ground if the argument is that everyone liked to do a tea round but your DH doesn't drink tea so never offered or something equally silly.

There are no "shaky legal grounds" that apply to the OPs DH being let go, unless DH can prove discrimination due to a protected characteristic (sex, race, religion, disability, etc), which applies from Day 1 of employment. This hasn't been mentioned so presumably it doesn't apply.

Anything else, and with less than 2 years' service, the employer can decide to part company, with payment of whatever notice period had been agreed contractually.

The DH would do well to ensure they pay any accrued holiday entitlement that hadn't been taken at the time of dismissal.

GreyGoose1980 · 03/01/2023 20:54

His company will have to pay him contractual notice if he leaves with immediate effect (unless it’s gross misconduct which doesn’t sound like the case from your Op)

girlmom21 · 03/01/2023 21:16

@Babyroobs I haven't suggested that they would pay childcare - I simply explained that £2000 isn't going to last long.

IhearyouClemFandango · 03/01/2023 21:16

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 03/01/2023 20:18

You won't qualify for UC. Especially if you are working too.

Get him out on the ground and looking for jobs.

Why not? Lots of working people claim UC, especially if they rent with kids.

girlmom21 · 03/01/2023 21:17

JangolinaPitt · 03/01/2023 19:04

Well it's interesting that people's first thought when they lose a job is too apply for benefits.

Yeah it's interesting people want to make sure they can feed their children

Rewis · 03/01/2023 21:31

Controversial suggestion but maybe you guys should take a breath. Talk to the daycare and sign up to benefits where you can. But maybe before he starts ubering or deliveroo or warehouse work. If that's the job he wants then obviously go for it. But if not then have a look at different sites for work in his field or what he wants and work from there. If there is none available then go door to door, any agency etc. I understand you need 2 incomes but taking a minute to do job search not hastily can pay back.

DatasCat · 03/01/2023 21:50

BinBandit · 03/01/2023 19:33

If you see jobs to apply for on these or any agency websites, my personal tip would be to check whether the jobs are also on that companies own website and apply directly wherever possible. It shouldn't make a difference but based on experience, I think it does. Especially for temp work.

I also prefer to apply from the organisation’s own website. A lot of the time Indeed/LinkedIn/Guardian Jobs or whoever have inaccurate (or missing) closing dates and salary details, and you have much more information applying direct.

BillyNotQuiteNoMates · 03/01/2023 22:08

VladmirsPoutine · 03/01/2023 17:51

That's not something you should be proud of. Society is in the gutter. You shouldn't have been forced into that position to be very frank.

Totally besides the point though, isn’t it? Fact is, that many of us ARE in that position, and telling someone that you “can’t “ get a job by walking in somewhere with a CV in your hand, is unhelpful and untrue

OldFan · 03/01/2023 22:15

They also ask about expected income, and they will absolutely take it into account when it’s received meaning the award will be cancelled due to having too high an income and the OP will need to apply again.

@ShimmeringShirts A one-off payment they are getting from somewhere isn't a salary. People are allowed savings up to £8000 for instance before their money is reduced based on those.

Babyroobs · 03/01/2023 22:16

OldFan · 03/01/2023 22:15

They also ask about expected income, and they will absolutely take it into account when it’s received meaning the award will be cancelled due to having too high an income and the OP will need to apply again.

@ShimmeringShirts A one-off payment they are getting from somewhere isn't a salary. People are allowed savings up to £8000 for instance before their money is reduced based on those.

£6000 before their UC monthly payment is reduced.

OldFan · 03/01/2023 22:17

Loads of people get UC to top up, even if it's just the child element. People can have pretty good salaries and still be eligible, for that at least.

OldFan · 03/01/2023 22:19

ah ok, OP says it's only 4-5 they have coming though. And the reality is UC don't actually watch what's in your account or going in and out of it. They just ask for pay slips.

Babyroobs · 03/01/2023 22:21

OldFan · 03/01/2023 22:19

ah ok, OP says it's only 4-5 they have coming though. And the reality is UC don't actually watch what's in your account or going in and out of it. They just ask for pay slips.

It is up to the applicant to report any changes in savings on a monthly basis. So if op received 4 0r 5k inheritance then she would need to report it to UC in the month they receive it if it takes their total savings/ capital over 6k. If some of it is being spent reasonably and savings don't even go past 6k there is no need to report it.