DH has been fired and I need talking down

[Zorrita]

DH was pulled into a meeting this afternoon to say they were letting him go. He had a few issues with his direct boss (this is a separate issue and we will be going to ACAS), been in the job less than a year and it was decided he didn't gel with the team. Nothing bad that affects his employability or that will prevent him getting another job pretty quickly.

What I do need are practical tips on what we can do now while he looks for employment. What can I do in the immediate aftermath of this to soften the blow? A few things for context:

• We have about 4-5k coming to us but that will take a month or so I believe, and have minimal savings (about 2k)
• DS (1 year old) is literally starting nursery next week. We've paid the first month but not sure how we could afford to keep him in until DH is employed again
• We have put a Universal Credit application in as our income has now more than halved
• Applied for council tax reduction but not sure we will qualify
• DH is not shy about what he does - he is happy to go back to stacking shelves while he looks for something else
• I am in secure employment with a big company

Is there anything else I need to do practically that will help our situation? If it comes to it I believe my Dad will be able to support us for a couple of months but as I am sure many will understand it's embarrassing having to ask and I would much rather do everything else I can first before I borrow from him.

Please be gentle. I am feeling rather fragile right now and I don't need anyone adding to this already awful feeling.

People can have pretty good salaries and still be eligible, for that at least.

if you’re able to claim UC then you’re unfortunately not receiving a good wage. It’s a total misconception of what a good wage is

Would your DH be able to be a SAHP for a little while so you don't have to pay for nursery? Obviously this depends on your outgoings but could you manage on one salary? We are 6 people on one salary plus disability benefits. Would the 4-5k be enough of a buffer to tide you over?

I totally forgot to mention that DH is getting paid up for another month from this job so we have one more lot of wage coming in at the end of this month. It gives us a bit more of a buffer and means DH can spend that time looking for jobs, warehouse or otherwise. He is polishing his CV some more today and will send out some for the type of work he wants to do too. He is also in LinkedIn and has set up some alerts. For those asking he is a mid-level Web Developer so will be looking for that kind of thing and there are plenty of jobs like that out there.

We have applied for UC and just waiting to see what happens with that now. Did a few calculations and we should be ok to reduce nursery and keep paying for 2 days. That said I have just realised you cannot claim UC and get the childcare account so that is something to consider. Definitely going to try and keep him in the nursery, it was a battle to get him a place as he was meant to go in September but there were no spaces.

@crazycycle He has recruiters coming out of his ears at the moment, so many emailed him during this employment offering to put him forward for work so he is going to get in touch with them (he replied politely saying he wasn't looking before to keep in touch with them just in case, and we are glad he did now).

@PermanentTemporary Good call on the lunch vouchers, ill explore that and see what we can get covered.

@BinBandit You are absolutely right that we just want to know what we need to do to ride this out until DH gets a job. ANY job. It's why I said he would pick up anything in mu OP and I don't know why people don't understand that. So thank you.

@JangolinaPitt and all the other benefits bashers, I wasn't going to rise to this but I need to, because anyone in the future reading this thread needs to know its OK to need benefits if you are struggling and not to pay attention to the disgusting attitude of some of you on here, then I am sone acknowledging these ill thought out replies.

This is exactly what the benefit system is for. It's not a crime to claim benefits you are entitled to when you need them for a short period of time or even for a longer period of time if you need the extra income to support yourself or your children. We don't plan to just sit on benefits forever or claim fraudulently. I have never understood, and will never understand, the weird obsession people have with the benefits system in this country and the desperate need for people like you to look down and sneer at anyone who dares need help. Guess anyone deemed "poor" or in need should just starve, freeze and spiral into debt?

Does it make you feel good about yourself to shit all over people who are facing a crisis? Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Seems like a really sad way to get your kicks to me. I truly hope each and everyone of you find yourself in a shit situation where you need help from the government because it might damn well humble your stinking attitude problem,

To everyone else, thank you so much for your practical help and support. It makes us feel like it's going to be ok, and we know it will be I tried replying to as many people as I could but I didn't realise i'd get so much brilliant advice, so if I have missed anyone I apologise!

He has recruiters coming out of his ears at the moment, so many emailed him during this employment offering to put him forward for work so he is going to get in touch with them (he replied politely saying he wasn't looking before to keep in touch with them just in case, and we are glad he did now).

This is really positive. In future tell him to engage and let them tell him what opportunities are out there. It never hurts to keep an open mind.

@Zorrita as a mid level web developer, I honestly cannot see any reason why he wouldn’t walk into another role. Especially as he’ll be paid end of Jan to see you through Feb, it’s not as critical a situation as I’m sure it first feels. He would honestly be best placed spending his time and energy this month finding that next role, rather than spending mental energy thinking about jobs completely outside of his skillet. That is absolute worst scenario.

I’m head of marketing at a start up so an adjacent field and like I said, I walked straight into a new role after being made redundant - I didn’t even miss a pay check.

*skill set and worse case scenario!

If your dh has wages coming in for the next month then you should get the Uc childcare element added in to the calculation to. However the total of both your wages could rule you out of any Uc even with the childcare element added in. It just depends really what your total earnings are.

Sorry I also meant to add that you won't get child element of Uc for a third child but can still claim childcare element for the third child. I guess you may already be aware of this.

For those asking he is a mid-level Web Developer so will be looking for that kind of thing and there are plenty of jobs like that out there.

Oh gosh, stop panicking! He'll be in a new job within a week.

This!

The skills gap in tech at the moment is horrific, we have been advertising a role for 6 months because we can't get someone with the right level of experience (not Web development but data dev) he will get a new job easily!!

I was just gonna suggest, get him to do a couple of azure and data online courses somebody will snap him up quickly.

@Zorrita You can use the tax free childcare and still get UC, you just wouldn't be able to claim the additional 'childcare element' of UC. You need to check your entitlement to tax free childcare and then decide whether to use that or whether to request the additional childcare element of UC instead. Hope that makes sense!

Loving all the unemployed layabouts getting their knickers in a twist at the suggestion that someone who’s consistently paid into a system dares to take a bit back. Just wow.

My uncle gets a little bit less UC due to savings BTW but it's not a large amount they take off really.

Sounds like you’ve got it all going on, awesome job, well done you. On the cutting back on spending you could try the TGTG(too good to go) app which lets you buy food at reduced prices, or olio where you can get stuff free. Sorry if this has been suggested before, haven’t read whole thread. TGTG is great fun and saves on your food bill as long as you’re willing to take lucky dip. Good luck.

I would add to some of the very good suggestions above that for his own self-esteem/mental health - and to maximise the chance of securing something he actually wants to do (as opposed to a compromise) - it's a good idea for him to treat the process of getting his next job like a job. Get up every day in time to "start work," wear something that puts you in the work mentality, log on and start doing research/applications/using your network. I know this won't take all day every day, but having a routine and system to it really helps. Also he should make sure he's genuinely tweaking/bespoking his CV (and covering letter) to the individual opportunity and not just sending out a generic one every time. I'm in recruitment and this really does make a difference. It sounds like he has a wonderfully practical and supportive partner in you OP - very best of luck to you both.

Zorrita Ignore the benefit bashers. Pathetic. You will be ok, with all that common sense and careful planning

mid-level Web Developer?
He'll be in a new job within the month, for sure, surely?

If he has a month or so out of work at the end of the tax year then as soon as 5th April is past, check whether he has paid the right amount of tax over the year and if he is due a refund, contact HMRC to ask how to go about getting them the information to claim the tax back.

This. New style jobseekers if probably much more appropriate.

Adjust your expectations a little. So he had a problem with the boss and you’re going to ACAS - nothing will come from it unless your boss was discriminatory in some way and there’s hard evidence of it, you’ll need time & money to take it further. I’ve dealt with this sort of thing for many years.
You won’t get universal credit if you earn a good amount. I’d say look for job seekers but they usually don’t give this out to people who have been let go although this may have changed recently.
Take your 1 year old out of nursery for now, the fees are extortionate and it’s a luxury at the moment not a necessity until your DH finds a new job. Good luck!

In the interim, if he's OK with talking to people (some people aren't), I would be happy to talk to him about an opportunity that might help. Just pm me.

@Zorrita Get your DH to do a ‘Looking for work’ post on LinkedIn. They do really well, and get shared quite widely. I worked comms for a tech org, so if you DM me the details of his LFW post, then I’ll reshare with my networks. If you want tips on how to write a good LFW post then, again, DM me. Happy to help and it’s literally what I do for a living!

Losing work suddenly is always a massive blow, especially to your security. And definitely at a time like this. Really glad to see you’re working together on this and you seem to have good heads on your shoulders - you’re all going to be just fine!

@Zorrita
Don’t forget to have a look at your own employers staff support. Lots have hardship funds you can apply to - it might help tide you over. I know my employer has an in-house fund and there are charities associated with my profession that also offer financial support.