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Original poster

Has there ever been an AIBU thread where the other party have found it and responded?

150 replies

PinkCosYouAreSoVery · 01/01/2023 21:19

Not really ATAAT but just reading a thread where the poster was renting an inherited house out to a friend for well below market value and then the friend moved out when asked to pay a higher rent.

For some reason it got me wondering if the friend found the thread, what would their response be? And subsequently got me wondering if there's ever been a thread where a poster was having a moan about another individual and that individual had found the post, realised it was about them and responded?

OP posts:
saraclara · 02/01/2023 01:29

JudgeRudy · 02/01/2023 00:30

I'd say that by taking immediate action to correct 'misinformation' was the professional thing to do. I'm sure you posted a clearly thought through response.

No real Headteacher would engage with a problem parent on a public forum. Apart from being highly unprofessional, the school's social media policy would not allow it. Our policy didn't allow any member of staff to identify where they worked on any form of social media. And that's standard for schools these days.

When a TA can't refer to their school, even positively, the idea of a head actually engaging with a complaining parent on here (especially given this places 'close relationship' with the Daily Mail) is just farcical.

fallfallfall · 02/01/2023 01:32

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

dooneyousmugelf · 02/01/2023 01:37

Seen a couple involving couples in arguments with each other. One hasn't been 'stumbled on' by the other party- he'd been shown the thread to show she was in the right and then he joined up to put his side across.

My favourite, though, was about some new pretentious, gentrified children's café in somewhere like Fulham that was charging daft prices for avo toast and was generally shit. Didn't go down too well with the owners 😂

dooneyousmugelf · 02/01/2023 01:38

Hadn't* been

Helpwhatwouldyoudonext · 02/01/2023 01:44

Hi,
Where was the author one, @Ban ?

Glitteratitar · 02/01/2023 01:46

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Hmm not sure I agree with your approach here. It really depends on what she was posting as if she was a lovely person as you say, then it’s not impossible you did or said things that upset her and she dealt with that by ranting anonymously online.

fallfallfall · 02/01/2023 01:52

@Glitteratitar except nothing you put online is really anonymous is it, especially if it was easy enough for me to find.

FlairBand · 02/01/2023 01:54

Glitteratitar · 02/01/2023 01:46

Hmm not sure I agree with your approach here. It really depends on what she was posting as if she was a lovely person as you say, then it’s not impossible you did or said things that upset her and she dealt with that by ranting anonymously online.

Show quote history

I was going to say the same thing, you sound a bit too pleased with yourself about the apologies when there was clearly a lot going on. Sending “the worst of the rant” to your DS is hardly a fair representation either is it.

OldFan · 02/01/2023 01:56

@fallfallfall Well it can be anonymous if we're careful, but if your DS has a little-known condition I suppose it's more likely you would find it. I don't think she could've predicted you would see that. A cautionary tale for us all to change details in what we write etc I suppose. I'm glad that the two of you were able to work through it.

fallfallfall · 02/01/2023 02:00

thanks @OldFan, stressful yet interesting times.
my son has azoospermia and is infertile the posts were in relation to fertility tx.

HirplesWithHaggis · 02/01/2023 02:05

Helpwhatwouldyoudonext · 02/01/2023 01:44

Hi,
Where was the author one, @Ban ?

www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4708863-i-dont-think-this-author-did-their-mumsnet-research

Glitteratitar · 02/01/2023 02:18

fallfallfall · 02/01/2023 01:52

@Glitteratitar except nothing you put online is really anonymous is it, especially if it was easy enough for me to find.

You’ve still not explained what she said. People are allowed to rant about others and you’ve not explained why her posts were any different. Regardless of whether she thought it was anonymous, you seem very proud of your actions and you don’t come across well here.

To me, her posting what she thought were anonymous posts and you finding and sending the worst to her husband is the same as reading her diary - it’s her inner thoughts that she thought she could share anonymously.

You say the posts were untrue but it’s also not impossible that you did legitimately upset her and she dealt with that by posting online.

nettie434 · 02/01/2023 02:32

I remember one thread where the poster was venting about how she was worn out during a family visit. Her sister in law read it - neither knew the other one was on Mumsnet - and ran her a bath and poured her a glass of wine and they were both really pleased that the OP had posted.

I think I remember reading the thread about taking body lotion or shampoo from the hotel. Somebody posted a link to it in a discussion about what was ok/not ok to take. I think the hotel had closed by then but I don't know if that was because guests kept taking so much they could not make a profit or whether the customer service was so bad nobody wanted to stay there.

oakleaffy · 02/01/2023 03:17

AuntieDolly · 01/01/2023 22:03

The woman complaining about archery taking place in the park where she walked her dog. Turned out she was walking her dog on the archery clubs field!

That's incredibly
Who on earth would walk a dog or themselves on an archery club field?
If an arrow misses its target, it's likely to thwack into someone.

I had a go at ''Axe throwing'' once, where a double headed axe is thrown towards a wooden target.
We were just practicing in an overgrown orchard, and a cat shot out of the undergrowth as the axe missed the target.
Thankfully cat was ok, he hadn't been hit.
After that, the orchard was checked for cats {The hens has been put away specifically for this reason}.

VioletLemon · 02/01/2023 03:36

No, not as HT!!

HangingOver · 02/01/2023 05:16

I had two separate people on a thread who knew the woman I posted about!

JenniferBarkley · 02/01/2023 05:25

fallfallfall · 02/01/2023 02:00

thanks @OldFan, stressful yet interesting times.
my son has azoospermia and is infertile the posts were in relation to fertility tx.

If DH had azoospermia I would think it very strange if his mother was researching the condition, and quite possibly unforgivable if she found my posts on our fertility journey and screenshotted them.

I think I'm the circumstances you should have stopped reading when you recognised her.

Wetblanket78 · 02/01/2023 05:54

Daft bint book my piss people like that.

MichelleScarn · 02/01/2023 06:19

The archery thread is gold!! @fallfallfall I think what you did is awful.

Squirrellane · 02/01/2023 06:22

There was one in 2012 where someone had a row with a sales assistant in Mothercare and both parties came on MN to rant their side of the story.

Namechangeforthis3344 · 02/01/2023 07:33

I found a post about a local issue that was very identifying (photos, no real details changed) similarly distorted in the OPs favour. When I tried to point out the other side on the thread, it went very nasty with people tuning on me.

I reported it to mumsnet about the inaccuracy, but was told that it was just my word against theirs and the thread still stood. It’s made me very wary about posting on anything apart from the most factual/uncontentious issues and name change regularly. I also now read mumsnet as interesting fun, but don’t believe half of the things I read which is a shame. That said, I did a search on my old username before posting and couldn’t find the thread, so don’t know if it was taken down in the end.

Sorry… longer than I intended. Short version: yes, and it’s made me skeptical about mumsnet!

TitaniasAss · 02/01/2023 08:01

saraclara · 02/01/2023 01:29

No real Headteacher would engage with a problem parent on a public forum. Apart from being highly unprofessional, the school's social media policy would not allow it. Our policy didn't allow any member of staff to identify where they worked on any form of social media. And that's standard for schools these days.

When a TA can't refer to their school, even positively, the idea of a head actually engaging with a complaining parent on here (especially given this places 'close relationship' with the Daily Mail) is just farcical.

Show quote history

Agreed. I would be on a disciplinary for this and I'm not a HT. It's in every school's social media policy.

NUTELLAPEANUTBUTTTTEERRRRRRR · 02/01/2023 08:14

Pumperthepumper · 01/01/2023 22:27

No! You’re the fucking head teacher!

Show quote history

OMG CALM DOWN 😂😂😂😂

ShakeItOff40 · 02/01/2023 08:20

There was one years ago, where a woman was (and my memory is fuzzy) talking about another woman on the school run. Talking about her being intimidating and glamorous or something like that. I came back to see what was going on, and the thread had been pulled with a message about the OP being outed or something like that. Very vague, but that’s the first time I remember something like that happening.

Roussette · 02/01/2023 08:20

Years ago I was actually on a thread with a link to a property on Rightmove and people saying how awful it was, picking apart from furnishings, laughing at the style etc.

The owner came on.

She was absolutely furious and wiped the floor with everyone on the thread. I honestly believe it was her because she was incensed.