Has there ever been an AIBU thread where the other party have found it and responded?

[PinkCosYouAreSoVery]

Not really ATAAT but just reading a thread where the poster was renting an inherited house out to a friend for well below market value and then the friend moved out when asked to pay a higher rent.

For some reason it got me wondering if the friend found the thread, what would their response be? And subsequently got me wondering if there's ever been a thread where a poster was having a moan about another individual and that individual had found the post, realised it was about them and responded?

Thanks for posting this question op. I'm new around these parts but did wonder if this had ever happened!

I will never forget one from years ago. It got pulled but it stayed with me because I found the attitude of the OP quite shocking.

The OP had a DP with a child from a previous relationship. He saw this child every other week.

OP was pregnant and wanted her DP to stop seeing his own child so as to concentrate on their "own little family" and only see his DD in school summer holidays.

She was absolutely roasted. To try and justify herself she gave out a few specifics about things like family dynamics and travel for contact.

Someone posted "I think I recognise this scenario" and then other people involved appeared.

It was deleted fairly fast. But I do wonder still about those poor DC involved (there were other DC and complex blended family issues)

I know some of those threads but it's due to the youtuber charlotte dobre I think the name is,

Why unprofessional? You don't like hearing two sides of a story?

Yes had an AIBU post written about me and my family. When we realised and responded with the other side of the story it was quickly deleted due to “it causing the poster problems in real life”.

Did you ever speak to them about it?

I had a post/question on here that I cross posted the same question/scenario to a Facebook group (I wasn't well at the time.)

Someone on the FB group said 'I've seen this somewhere before.' 😂

Do not do this as, as well as being naff, it means that people can know both your MN username and IRL name if you use that on FB. And the person could then know that things you've posted on here anonymously were written by you.

Thankfully it wasn't anyone I knew in real life so it wasn't a problem, just a bit embarrassing.

Not exactly the same, but I've recognised a close family member on MN starting many threads, and have had to hold my fingers to not type a response on said threads. I've never mentioned to that family member that I've seen them on MN.

On reflection it's quite interesting to read another person's perspective on a situation which you have a different viewpoint on.

There was one a few years ago when 2 out of 3 houses that shared a drive both put up posts moaning about each other

soon removed by both parties when they were both tagged in!

My ex had put spyware on my computer so when he left me (for someone else I may add) so had no fucking right to be spying on me.

I posted heartbroken and needing some advice and he popped up on the thread with a really nasty comment about something only I would know about.

Mumsnet pulled the thread and I did ask for all traces of any threads I had started to be pulled for my own security but they wouldn’t do that bit for me.

Yes and they admitted it but continued to repeat their nonsense and it caused a huge family falling out. The OP is now also estranged from her own mother due to it.

It was interesting to see though how people were quick to side with the OP with the limited info and not one person questioned the story or disagreed with them, this is what fuelled them on in real life because they believed they were the wronged party.

Yes I have identified neighbours on here as they have posted the same thing on here and on the NextDoor site.

@Stargazer1988

This is a thread about the question given

You need to start your own thread if you want responses to your issue

I'd say that by taking immediate action to correct 'misinformation' was the professional thing to do. I'm sure you posted a clearly thought through response.

I’d be horrified if the HT of our schools was posting on MN, clarifying or not. It’s totally unprofessional. Best way to deal with it is speak to the parent and if it’s dealt with then you ask them or MN to remove the post.

I’ve seen a few threads pulled because they have info that has outed the OP but unhelpfully I can’t remember any! None got especially nasty though - I got the impression that someone had been in touch with OP offline to say they recognised them and that had prompted the OP to ask for the removal.

I posted on a (now defunct) similar Australian site, having just witnessed pretty crap treatment of an unaccompanied minor by airline staff. (Allergy related.)

It was meant to be a general warning to all parents, but the mum of the child recognised the situation and replied. She was able to take the extra information I posted to the airline as part of her complaint.

Another time I ended up in a debate with someone who was posting inaccurate information. We went back and forth, she ended up DMing me to tell me she worked at the place in question so knew she was right. I replied that I was a senior manager in the same workplace, and sent her a link to the correct information along with a warning about what could happen to her job if she kept posting shit online. We ended up having a laugh and a chat from time to time.

I have wondered this before. What if someone recognises they’re being talked about? It must happen.

I came across a post, not on MN though, that my husband had written. He was looking for advice on a particular issue we were having. But the way he'd written it was vastly different from the actual scenario! He'd massively misrepresented what was going on. I was agog! I couldn't actually respond because the thread was locked by the time I'd found it. I have major trust issues now when reading OPs.

I mean, obviously most people know - in theory - that they should remain open minded and understand that they're only getting one side of the story etc, etc, but to witness exactly the colossal difference between reality and the scenario he had outlined was astonishing.

How on earth did she manage not to tell you to go fuck yourself?!? 🤐

Did you tell him you found it, what happened?

@CornwallLass ‘It lead to some awkward drop offs’

You really do not sound professional AT ALL

I did tell him. Nothing really happened. It was a few weeks later that I found the thread so the issue was, not exactly resolved, but over with by then. Not much point in fighting about it at that point. But I did tell him I'd found it and I pointed out it was practically a work of fiction. He just turned his eyes away from me. He didn't even try to deny that it was hugely misleading. Probably because he couldn't realistically.

I was happy to point out that even with his extreme distortion he still didn't have complete support.

I recall reading a post by a lady who was very unhappy with her husband who she thought was being unreasonable and unsupportive. Her version of events garnered lots of support until her husband found the post and replied with a very different narrative. To be fair to the op she did cop to having left out fairly pertinent information which in the end resulted in the consensus that she was unreasonable, not the husband. Cannot recall if it was pulled or not.

I saw a thread by a mother complaining about school fees for an online school for their special needs child going up massively, even though the school promised not to raise them for existing pupils. Someone from the school found the thread and replied, but I found the reply utterly unprofessional and it just proved how the mother was right to complain.