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Making new friends in 2023 thread: join me?

127 replies

Lentilweaver · 31/12/2022 09:59

Like many people here, I have lost friends in the pandemic because they have moved away, drifted or just dropped me:) Also began WFH- not by choice- so that reduces the pool too.

I am trying very hard to make new friends in 2023.

What I have done so far:
Starting a book club in January in a social group I am part of
Reached out to someone I know only on Twitter suggesting a coffee ( same profession)
Suggested a walk in the park to a local contact I met once but hit it off with..

Join me?

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Lentilweaver · 24/05/2023 10:30

Gosh, sorry I wrote 'always' thrice!

Anyway, I just wish more people would call me instead of me always calling them. But I wonder if some people fall more naturally into the 'organiser' role than others.

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BookWorm45 · 24/05/2023 13:27

Hey Lentilweaver, well done for your efforts,

Just wanted to say, same thing happened to me where I started a book club on Meetup.com - the idea was, read a book, and go for a walk while discussing it. Hundreds of people signed up - and about 3 turned up in actuality. So don't think you are alone in this !

Lentilweaver · 25/05/2023 08:42

Yes, book clubs are a bit hit and miss. Everybody thinks they want to read, but when it comes to it, they don't!

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Anotherloverholeinyohead · 26/05/2023 16:26

I think I'm back to square one. I reached out to a couple of old friends/work colleagues and went to a few things eg meal/theatre show etc - it all started fizzling out when I slowly stopped suggesting things as they never initiated contact.

Oh well - I'm not giving up. Think I need to think of new clubs to join and see what happens

Zippedydoo123 · 26/05/2023 18:08

I too need some more friends. I only have two where I live and it really truly does suck. I used to have four friends but one really cool friend emigrated and the other one I am going to drop as they are very dull socially. The other friends I have are abroad or elsewhere in the UK.

I try to stay away from people who are married as they never have much free time as they value friendships far less than single friends. I am always the one trying to proact. This is not meant to offend any married women just my experience.

I am joining a monthly hiking group soon. It is women friends I need. Wherever I go or look I end up attracting men friends which just doesn't hit t he spot. I really hope the local hiking group brings slowly forward even one really nice new female friend.

Jazminlovestheflowers · 27/05/2023 12:08

Hi yes I would like to meet some new friends here and especially in my area, I'm in penzance , cornwall :) however happy to be friends on here too, just pop me a message x

GreekDogRescue · 13/08/2023 20:27

This is such a great thread.
I’m looking to make some new friends. It’s just me and DP plus I have a few friends but only 2 or 3 I see regularly.
when I have time I’m going to join Meetup and the local tennis club.
Hows it going @Lentilweaver? Hope your efforts paid off.

everythingisgoingup · 23/01/2024 14:18

Sorry to resurrect this thread Lentilweaver but wanted to see how it is going for everyone? 😊

Aquarius1234 · 23/01/2024 14:21

everythingisgoingup · 23/01/2024 14:18

Sorry to resurrect this thread Lentilweaver but wanted to see how it is going for everyone? 😊

Perhaps someone could start up a new thread for 2024?
Any ideas welcome..

Lentilweaver · 23/01/2024 15:53

I meant to update! I have had some successes, some failures. I have met most of these people through Meetups and FB groups.

Failures first: I started a book club, but it has never got off the ground, and I now plan to shut it down. People think they want to read, but never actually turn up. I will join an already thriving club instead.

I am still mostly the person who always does the calling and organising. Maybe I should make my peace with it. It's rare that other people think of calling me, though there are the occasional exceptions. The ones who do are usually visiting London, so are long distance friends.

Successes: I am in a lot of great Meetups ranging from theatre groups to walkijg groups, and I enjoy them. I do find though that it is hard to get to know people if you only meet them once a month, and in a large group. They remain acquaintances, not friends.

The local contact I mentioned in the first post has developed into a friend of sorts, though we don't meet that often as she has 3 DC and a Dh who works away.

I have made a friend 25 years younger than me! We have a shared interest. We went away on a day trip together and got along well, so now plan to do more. Age is not really relevant for me.

In 2024, I want to meet people one-to-one rather than in groups, so hoping to zero in on some of the people in my groups. I am also hoping to persuade Dh that we need some couple friends. He is an introvert, and doesn't like socialising much.

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longpathtohappiness · 24/01/2024 12:14

Lentilweaver haven't read all this thread but my DH is an extreme extrovert too and we have no couple friends either. I've lost touch with the mum friends I made when DC were younger and no DC are growing up need to restart. I wfh and incredibly lonely. Looking for ideas so will have a read of this thread. Thank you OP for starting it

longpathtohappiness · 24/01/2024 12:16

Lentilweaver all the meet up groups I've found locally are for singletons. I feel like I am single so don't suppose it matters!

Anotherloverholeinyohead · 24/01/2024 12:43

I've had another go at making friends....a lady posted on Facebook that she was looking for some walking buddies nothing too strenuous but would like some company. So far it has been three weeks walking three times a week. The group is pretty fluid and about 6/10 ladies turn up and walk together.

They are a lovely bunch of women, we have a laugh and joke and slowly people are talking of finishing at a pub in the summer and other activities to do together.

Fingers crossed this continues as I am actually enjoying myself !

Wheresthecheese · 24/01/2024 17:29

WI can be a great way to meet people. I have been once but everyone seemed to know each other and I felt a bit of a spare part. I must go again.

catwithflowers · 24/01/2024 17:39

I made a (now very good) friend via mumsnet many years ago. I was in the process of divorcing and moving countries and asked advice about schools. The Mumsnetter got in touch and gave lots of information, then we progressed to swapping telephone numbers which led to meeting up in real life ☺️. Now, 13 years on we are still good friends, know each other's kids and husbands and regularly meet up for lunch or dinner, sometimes at a restaurant but also in our respective homes.

I feel very lucky as this person made it easier to leave my old life and move back to what was once my home town as I felt I wasn't alone. And she is very lovely, kind and good fun!

longpathtohappiness · 31/01/2024 16:53

Wheresthecheese i am wondering about the WI too.

DH is 55 and an extreme introvert. He is turning into his father. He has not been working today and he has stayed on the sofa all today and now asleep. FFS! - Help me. MIL had the Church and joined things by herself and now I understand why. I don't have the Church HELP ME

Wheresthecheese · 31/01/2024 17:04

I don't think there is any other alternative than to get out there and join things and participate. Make a life for yourself, or else divorce!

Lentilweaver · 31/01/2024 17:15

Where do you live @longpathtohappiness that all the groups are for singletons? In London, no one asks if I am single or not. How about:

Choir
Walking groups
Parkrun
Local heritage/volunteering
Pub Quiz
Book clubs
WI as pp suggested

I feel like many of these will be open to marrieds.

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longpathtohappiness · 31/01/2024 17:49

Lentilweaver I live in Oxfordshire. On meetup the groups are aimed at singles

MamaAlwaysknowsbest · 31/01/2024 17:51

I like the thread. I worked in a cafe because like how social hospitality jobs are. Serving and chatting to people was filling all my socialising needs and I have few other online groups until one day this noisy women's group came and celebrated someone's birthday, so as I was serving them, they started chatting to me and I shared I would love to have such women for friends when not in my work and they invited me and funnily enough, the rest is history now. I was the person who did not have many friends once my uni friends went abroad and then I came here, which is abroad for me

Lentilweaver · 31/01/2024 18:24

I don't know enough about Oxfordshire, but there must be something you can do? Are you on Facebook? Can you put out a call for local friends or start a book club or something?

My DH is also 55 and often falls asleep in the day. He WFH so sometimes takes an afternoon nap. I think that's ok. I often fall asleep at 8.30 pm myself! The fifties are hard on the body.

He does come out with me though, so perhaps that's why I am forgiving. He isnt all that keen on socialising with others, but he will socialise with me.

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RedRobyn2021 · 31/01/2024 20:02

Forgot all about this thread

I have actually made a couple of mum-friends

One I meet up with most weeks with our children and the other is maybe once a month

I'm quite introverted and I've found the only reason I've managed to make these friends is they are more extroverted 🤦🏻‍♀️ it has helped that my daughter is at an age now where she enjoys playing with other children more

It's still a work in progress I think for me, I think I need to keep going and pushing myself, I don't find it easy

girlfriend44 · 01/02/2024 00:09

Good thread.

longpathtohappiness · 01/02/2024 10:26

Lentilweaver it isn't just the sleeping, guess who has to pick up the slack. I'm spinning so many plates at the moment

Lentilweaver · 01/02/2024 10:52

Ah, so those are two different problem @longpathtohappiness Even if you had tons of friends, he would do nothing. You need to his slacking up with him.

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