Taking responsibility for own happiness - self care in 2023 - anyone want to join? Baby steps……

[Brightstar84]

I’ve been on the verge of going to the docs for antidepressants as I feel as I’ve I operate under a cloud of dread and sadness a lot of the time. But I’ve come to recognise I self sabotage a lot of the time and there are some healthy habits I want to commit to doing more / less of starting in January.

Anyone want to join in - please be gentle and non judgemental.

Im going to commit to

• drinking less alcohol (I’m not doing ‘dry’ as think a glass in a the bath is an important part of self care! But I’m drinking pretty much daily and mindlessly at the moment)
• associated with the above, stop taking so many painkillers - rare I don’t wake up with a low level hangover and I’ve got a supply of cocodomal I’ve continued to take after a surgery (and my mum gave me hers as well), recognise I need to taper off this but I know it’s doing me no good
• read more. I love reading but this year have been too restless to finish books and end up phone scrolling instead. I want to commit to that as I’ve some great ones on my shelf
• exercise. I enjoy running but need to find an event to enter as without that I don’t get motivated.
• cook for myself. I live alone and do often can’t be bothered so either get a takeaway or don’t bother at all

Overall I just want to take more responsibility for my own happiness and not rely on others (who so often let me down) enough. I feel those basics are a good start and if I’m still struggling after that I’ll go to the GP. But I’ve got to try to look after myself and writing all the above out has made me feel quite emotional as I realise how much I’ve not been taking any care with myself at all 😥

Sorry for the ramble. Anyone else want to commit to some simple self care things for a happier 2023 too?

I have found I have become buried under a pile of negativity especially at work. My new year promise to myself is to be more positive. Before I leave work I say out loud three things I have achieved in that day. Before I go to sleep I say again out loud three things I am happy about or grateful for from that day. It can be as basic as 'I didn't drop my dinner on my new sweatshirt so I can wear it again!'

It's forced but it is helping and I am feeling more positive and not worrying about things I can't control or change.

I’d like to join. Will think about my goals here

Just place marking really but have been lurking.

I’ve managed to find an acquaintance to maybe become a Couch to 5k buddy, so I’m excited about that. I just don’t enjoy running on my own.

I've started journaling, I've meant to for a long time and I'm finding it helps, I just write down everything that comes into my head really.
I'm also intermittent fasting 16:8, I hate the way I look at the moment and need to lose 2.5 stone.
I haven't managed to exercise yet, I've been in a lot of pain, but today I'll be walking a bit, as I'm meeting someone for coffee.

I haven't managed so well with sleep the last couple of nights, I think it's when anxiety is at its height, late at night, for some reason. Must look up sleep hygiene also, see if there's anything helpful there.

But, and trying to look for the positives, I have managed my daily exercise, and did one tiny job off my list. Small steps

How is everyone doing?

Well done Fliss!
Have you tried writing your worries on paper before bed and going to bed at the same time every night?

@Brightstar84 there's a brilliant distraction game you can play with yourself that is a massive self-esteem booster and really fun. It is:
do something you've never done before every single day for a month (or six, or a year).And keep a record of the experience in a journal or secret blog/private online diary.
It doesn't have to be massive (but can be) and you don't have to write a lot (but can if you want.) You can start tiny e.g. try a new scent of bubble bath, order a different type of coffee from usual or try a new cafe, walk down a street you've never walked down before etc. Then jot down any obsewrvations. E.g. bought grapefruit bath gel, bit sharp-scented,will probably use it to clean the bath not for washing. Or: walked down that street with the big houses. Bumped into X whoI hadn't seen in years. Discovered it ends in a path that leads to the woods - much nicer way to get there than the main road, so I'll use it next time.

That sort of thing. Bit by bit you learn new things about your likes and dislikes; you learn to be a bit bold and try new experiences for the sake of it. The more you get to know yourself and trust yourself to handle the unknown (even in small things) the less likely you are to put up with being bullshitted and messed around. You end up too busy having fun by yourself to tolerate players.

I've had an OK start to the year.
Dry Jan going OK, though I am eating all the sugar in the house.
YWA - also going OK, though I am stiff and creaky!
A couple of muddy walks
Finally cleared, tidied and cleaned my study which had become a family dumping ground and looked like a hoarder's den. Now I can work at a proper chair and desk, and won't wreck my back working on the sofa.
Also restarted bootcamp today. I had lost so much strength, it was shocking. Exercises I used to find really easy were so hard. Came home and had an Epsom bath so am trying really really hard to stick with self care.

But work is very quiet (I'm freelance) I'm usually busy at this time of year so I hope it picks up.

That’s really useful, I will try to add these in.

Before I leave work, I write a post it for my desk with the 3 most urgent tasks to do when I get in the next day. Then (in theory) leave the stress at work and not spend all evening with my mind racing.

@BeastOfBODMAS that is actually a great idea which I am going to use in the hope I will stop making at 3am with a worry about what I need to do. I do have a notebook next to my bed which I write it in so I then go back to sleep which also helps.

@WinterFoxes thanks for your suggestion, I like that, just keeping a journal in general I think would help me.

hope everyone has had a decent day.

Self care is well and good but if you want to experience a boost in your feel good, happiness and well-being then community service, and helping others is the way to do it.

Week 1.
walked 52 miles,been swimming and played tennis twice.
cooked 2 new receipts both veggie curry
been for a mammagram
volunteered at a foodbank
drunk too much wine

Well done @Theskyoutsideisblue

My week hasn’t been too bad for exercise - done plenty of walking, one cycle and three Pilates classes.

Eaten too much though (to get rid of the Christmas food - after the last piece of Christmas cake goes today though it’s all gone) and had too much wine. I’ve a glass in a bottle for tonight then will try to not drink until next weekend.

Hasn’t been too bad at work either so hope I can build on that.

How’s everyone else getting on?

Great to read your updates!

I really struggled at the start of the week but have got better as the week has gone on

Made it to the gym and done fair bit of walking although wine consumption has still been too high so like others have said, am going to try and stay off it until Friday now.

Just had my first run (well walk/run) in nearly 6th months. Really enjoyed it and am really going to try to keep it up this time.

I also really struggled at the start of the week, all connected to going back to work. I need to put less pressure on myself.

I'm feeling quite low at the moment. Not depressed exactly but very low energy, low enthusiasm and demotivated. But at least I've stuck to dry Jan and done three bootcamps and a few walks already this year. And done some journalling every other day. That's a start. Really need to sort my diet out too but taking things one at a time.

Feel like I’m sleepwalking through January a little bit. I haven’t crashed and burned like I feared I would, but neither am I thriving like I planned! However, we are already a third of the way through. Not noticing the days getting any longer as yet. It will help when we get some more light (and this rain stops!!)

It is so hard @Brightstar84 at this time of year. It is gradually getting lighter though (I keep telling myself). And I can see crocuses coming up in the garden, and muscari! Spring is just out of reach but will come.

I am still awake at stupid o'clock. It's so hard to balance everything with work/ lone parenting/ everything else life has thrown at us without just cutting sleep down to 3-4 hours per night in the absence of any other option. Need to try harder not to do this.

Can already see it is staying slightly lighter each afternoon. Spring will come

Hey everyone, just checking in ☺️ haven't caught up yet but I will.

The St John's Wort is working nicely on my mood and anxiety. I wasn't sleeping well so over the last few nights I've paired it with a valerian root tablet which is also working nicely.

I've opened up to a few trusted people in RL about what I'm going through with going nc with my mum and started a support thread on here which has helped. MN really is a great place sometimes.

Haven't been swimming yet, at this point my excuse is to wait until everyone trying to start a new year new them buggers off 😂 it's bad enough I'm going to go and get in a pool early in the morning, I really don't want to get in a busy pool so early in the morning 😂

Hello all, just checking in to see how people’s weeks have been? We’ve pretty much made it to the halfway point in jan, which feels good!

my self care is still patchy. I’m still drinking more than I should be last night I actually poured the last glass of a bottle down the sink as I really didn’t need it, and was only drinking it out of habit!! Have had a couple of gym sessions / classes and I find booking them in for a Saturday and Sunday morning stops me from drinking too much on the evenings before. I’ve been taking St John’s wort too now for around 10 days, I think it might be subtly working as I feel like I spend less time just sitting staring into space in a state of inertia.

Baby steps as I said. Check in and let us know how you’re doing

I've been quite quiet on this thread, may have name changed too, but am still lurking.

My biggest changes so far are that I'm keeping a daily journal and doing 16:8 fasting, need to lose some weight. I've done a few exercises but not been very committed so far, but have been walking much more. I need to get rid of my upper tummy, but sit ups etc are so hard 😖

The weather is awful and I'm still hating the fact that I hardly see any light in the week - go out and come home when it's pitch black. BUT - there are daffodils for sale, and I always see that as the first sign that it won't be dark forever.