Taking responsibility for own happiness - self care in 2023 - anyone want to join? Baby steps……

[Brightstar84]

I’ve been on the verge of going to the docs for antidepressants as I feel as I’ve I operate under a cloud of dread and sadness a lot of the time. But I’ve come to recognise I self sabotage a lot of the time and there are some healthy habits I want to commit to doing more / less of starting in January.

Anyone want to join in - please be gentle and non judgemental.

Im going to commit to

• drinking less alcohol (I’m not doing ‘dry’ as think a glass in a the bath is an important part of self care! But I’m drinking pretty much daily and mindlessly at the moment)
• associated with the above, stop taking so many painkillers - rare I don’t wake up with a low level hangover and I’ve got a supply of cocodomal I’ve continued to take after a surgery (and my mum gave me hers as well), recognise I need to taper off this but I know it’s doing me no good
• read more. I love reading but this year have been too restless to finish books and end up phone scrolling instead. I want to commit to that as I’ve some great ones on my shelf
• exercise. I enjoy running but need to find an event to enter as without that I don’t get motivated.
• cook for myself. I live alone and do often can’t be bothered so either get a takeaway or don’t bother at all

Overall I just want to take more responsibility for my own happiness and not rely on others (who so often let me down) enough. I feel those basics are a good start and if I’m still struggling after that I’ll go to the GP. But I’ve got to try to look after myself and writing all the above out has made me feel quite emotional as I realise how much I’ve not been taking any care with myself at all 😥

Sorry for the ramble. Anyone else want to commit to some simple self care things for a happier 2023 too?

Interesting, I just re listened to marc marons interview of hank azaria #382 on YouTube to re listen to what he says about stutz to keep that in practice!

Great idea.
I have signed up for a weekly yoga class also really need to cut down on alcohol so will be doing dry January. Or attempting to.

@RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie thanks so much for the recipe suggestions, very thoughtful, and oh god @Gufo my wardrobes are another thing that desperately needs sorting out but I’m not sure I can yet cope with it getting worse, before it gets better, which it will! A job for a quiet jan weekend for sure. Perhaps I’ll even try and get a bit of spare cash selling on Vinted or Depop, that would motivate me too

Self care is more than a bath with a glass of wine and a nice bit of cake.

I am joining this thread as I am going through some stuff and recognise I need to care for myself. I only get one go at this life.

• Care about myself and my appearance more, simply for me to support my self esteem
• Come to terms with going NC with my mother and brother. Been very low/NC with my brother for years due to domestic violence but my mum is fairly new (may 2022) and is harder to accept.
• Socialise more, I cut myself off from the world a lot and wfh and I don't think it's good for me
• Exercise. I hate exercise generally but I do like to swim. I am very overweight so 100% need to move more. I have booked my first morning Lane swim for.tomorrow at 6.30am so will report back if I actually went 😂

Great idea op, group support is good.

I suggest a consistent time for sleeping, no late nights. Started this a few years ago when catch up tv meant no more staying up late for tv. Has had great benefits for me.

Agree with your other ideas.

I need to set some good routines and habits for 2023. I've actually started some of them this month, including the exercise, so am basically just building them up.

My biggest problem is that my job is quite stressful and tends to take over my life. I'm starting a new job in the spring, so hopefully this will help and the good habits will stop the new job taking over.

Exercise - I plan to move every day. I try to swim 3 times a week, so need to stick with that, and I started a yoga class and a pilates class at the start of December so will be going back to those when they restart after Christmas. The other 2 days will be a nice long walk.

Eat well - when I'm stressed I eat really badly. I do need to lose some weight, but more importantly I need to consistently eat properly. And drink more water.

Hair/beauty etc - I have my hair cut every 6 weeks anyway (pixie cut) but need to keep on top of the colour. I've started getting my eyebrows waxed and my nails done again, which I haven't done since before Covid. I plan to book all the appointments for the next few months now so that they're all in the diary. I also need to remember to cleanse and moisturise properly every day, which is something that slips when I feel crap.

I'm in! I honestly could have written your post.

Amazing to have you all on the team! @Fufumcgoo definitely report back and let us know how the swim was!

I’ve done a load of jobs around the house today which I feel better for. A lot still to be done but will wait til I take tree down on 2nd Jan as everything downstairs will need hoovering after that

Going to read my book for a while now and watch that Netflix recommendation in bed tonight. It feels much later than it actually is!

Have taken one dose of painkillers today (vs my usual 3) as figured probably not a good ideal to just suddenly stop. It’s progress.

I've also been thinking of how to improve my self care, peri menopause is playing havoc with my mental and physical health, I need to focus on setting in place better habits.
More quality sleep is top of my list, which goes hand in hand with less scrolling. I've bought a Lumi alarm clock and will not take my phone to bed with me, or the iPad. It's not going to be easy!

I do a lot of sound baths, these are so helpful for me in relaxing.

Oh lord yes the doom scrolling

I’m prone to doom scrolling at 3, 4am…..think that’s poor sleep due to alcohol though so with less of that I should sleep better. I’ve had one glass tonight and now on the herbal tea!

Getting a adhd referral is my aim too. Although people keep gently suggesting that I might have autism so that complicates matters. Either way I’m very prone to procrastination, am incredibly anxious about stupid shit (sending emails ) and have not infrequent meltdowns. So need to try and find ways to mitigate all that.

Also want to paint more, keep learning German and finally start writing my novel. And drink more water obvs

I'm definitely in... finding life at home very sad, and stressful, and tiring at the moment. Have 7yo DTs and the laziest DP in the world... it really hit home to me earlier this year that he belittles me a lot and undermines my confidence for no real reason, which in turn is teaching the DC that I'm of no real value. I have thought about leaving many a time but realistically just cannot afford it yet... in the meantime, I'm hoping to develop some strategies to help me cope with him and value myself again.

That sounds really tough @ScarlettMcCain new year, new chance for you to reassert your boundaries, division of labour and the time you need for yourself? Is there a hobby you’d like an hour or two a week to get out of the house and do?

Saw this on Instagram this morning and it resonated, thought it might do for others on this thread too!

I want to love myself a lot more in 2023. Take more interest in my appearance both in private and public. And make an effort to reach out more to people and build relationships.

Inspiring thread OP thank you! Really looking to cut down on phone time in 2023, if anyone has any tips please let me know! I’m wanting to prioritise self care to try and help ease anxiety a little.

OP thanks for this thread!
I have put off going to the GP as ideally I don't want a prescription.

For me less time on screens.
Try to switch off from work more.

@C1239 I know there are ‘virtual lock box’ type phone apps which lock your phone inaccessible for an hour or a period of time you set it for. I’m thinking that might be a good idea for me when I’m trying to focus on reading etc

Great thread, I’d like to do the following:

1. take my lunch hour at work and use the time to go for a walk or read a book. I’m on phased return from maternity leave and have not been taking breaks, to prove what I don’t know. It’s not like my boss even notices as he’s usually out to lunch.
2. Get my diet back on track in January. I am on a long journey to lose 10 stone. Gave myself December off to enjoy the nice things.
3. pour a pint of water every mealtime and try to drink it
4. remember to take vitamins
5. Actually spend a bit of money on myself- it’s budgeted for, there’s no earthly reason to have threadbare socks, baggy bras and nasty shampoo.

hwllo
i would love to join

I’m trying to be less passive aggressive and actually tell people when they piss me off rather than sulking for weeks

I’ve told one person they pissed me off already and I got an apology and I was like…oh wow!!

kinda lame but yeah can I join too

Fufu here (nc as I do regularly at the end of the quarter)

I did not get up to swim 😞 I don't know why I have such a blocker here. If I take the kids I'm fine, so it's not a physical self confidence issue.

@Lordofthebutterfloofs is it because you struggle to take care of yourself as you do others? I think that sums up the core of this thread, tbh, so don’t beat yourself up. Take the next opportunity x

I already take antidepressants and have no desire to stop, but in 2023 I need to get better at actually taking them properly. I'm really bad for taking them well for a few months, then something disrupts my routine and suddenly 2 weeks have passed and I'm wondering why I feel so bad again. I'm also going to put in some more boundaries at work so that I don't end up working late so often. Start taking my vitamins properly. Take up running again. Less screen time and more books. Sounds easy but it never feels that way!