Would you say something to someone if you knew they didn’t wash their hands after using the toilet?

[asblindasabat]

On Christmas Day, my MIL Used the downstairs loo but didn’t wash her hands. I know this as our lounge is right beside the toilet and you can always hear the water running when the tap is on, which I didn’t hear. She went in, quickly went about her business, toilet flushed and out she came so it was very obvious.

I was going to ask her if she had forgot to wash her hands but I just couldn’t build the courage to do it! I had an audience and it would probably have looked liked I was starting an argument but I did feel somewhat uncomfortable with someone using the toilet, not washing their hands and then touching objects in my house.

if a guest in your house did this, would you just ignore it or would you just say it as it is?

Obvs it’s gross and on that basis yes you should be able to say buuuuttt…. If you had a house full of guests and said anything those guests would (as pps) at least subconsciously assume you listen to people using the loo to check on them in private moments which would probably create a bit of an uncomfortable atmosphere too. Humans are more social than they are rational so I doubt most would say anything

Best way to go about it is make a remark like do you like the smell of my new hand-wash?

This particular troglodyte is the OP mother. Family is important!

😂🤣😂🤣 the drama is hilarious isn’t it?

And bizarre. Honestly couldn’t tell you what the last guest in my house did in the toilet… but as I cleaned this morning it really doesn’t matter!

😂 OP what’s your plan? Pour her a few massive cups of tea and then be conspicuously ‘dusting’ in the hall next time she visits the loo?! Or just looming at the toilet door as she exits- caught red piss handed

I seriously can't believe that even after 2020 people don't know when or how to was their hands.

Wash*

I think the majority of people agree basic hygiene consists of washing your hands after using the toilet.

The question was whether you should call out your MIL. You didn't and you are regretful.

The time has passed now, so next time she comes and you don't hear the water running, you can ask her if she needs to wash her hands.

Personally I don't think its worth creating an issue over because it will make her feel very embarrassed.

But the fact that you are absolutely adamant you should talk to her about it and haven't been Able to get passed it means you aren't looking for other opinions here; you are looking for only the ones that are supportive of your own views.

I wouldn't say anything but it doesn't mean I don't mind, because I do.
I spend too long in my life wondering how many workers in fast food places don't wash their hands after the toilet, or whether someone has sneezed into their hand before using the handrail on the stairs in the station.
We must be exposed to other people's bodily secretions a lot more than we'd want to know I guess.
Grosses me out.

Put some hand gel in there too
I'm not germophobic but not washing your hands after using the loo is just wrong

Yes, I was looking to see if anyone else would have called her out on it or just left it, just out of curiosity. I personally feel I should have called her out on it and I regret that I didn’t. I wasn’t looking to see if I was being unreasonable (I wasn’t unreasonable in any way for feeling annoyed) otherwise I’d have posted in AIBU.

she would have embarrassed herself had I called her out on it. She should have washed her hands.

🙄🙄 it’s not about what she did or didn’t do in the toilet. I heard the toilet flush so I have to assume she used the toilet. Even if she didn’t, she still touched the toilet which warrants washing your hands. It’s not rocket science to understand that no matter how often or well you disinfect your toilet, there Will always still be some amount of germs on it.

And just because you don’t visibly have urine or excrement on your hands, doesn’t mean the microbes aren’t on your hands.

Nope, my plan is to go about my business just as I was when I was sitting in my lounge (which is beside the downstairs WC) watching EastEnders when I unintentionally heard the toilet flush, she immediately walked out and re-entered the lounge and I had heard no water running.

Really doesn’t mean I was standing outside listening. You do realise you can hear and notice things despite not going out of your way to hear/notice them?

I think your mistake in all of this was watching Eastenders😂

Well I do agree with you on that, I don’t usually watch it but myself and the family wanted to see all the drama with Mick and Janine. That aside, I’d rather watch EastEnders than stand outside the toilet door and listen to someone at the toilet…😬

She could place a tiny bit of thread on the tap. You know, like a professional spy would! 🤣😂🤣😂

If you put ink or shoe Polish or oil on the flush then everyone will definitely wash their hands I suppose 🤔

Good idea! 😂

I can't believe this post.

Those that have the neck to argue the importance of washing hands, unbelievable. I can only think you were not parented very well.

Its disgusting and it does affect the rest of us! Shame on you.

Wash your effing hands, you utter mingers!

exactly!! I feel like ringing DH and telling her what a dirty cow she is 😂 obviously I’m not going to but I’d love to!

MIL *

I really am not surprised that people are defending not washing your hands, on here. How many people have admitted to going days without showering and/or not washing legs and just letting the water run down them etc. I’m not surprised at all!

Thank you @Onnabugeisha for such informative posts.

You're preaching to the choir here.

People are being deliberately obtuse about the scientific reality of the personal and societal benefits of good hand washing hygiene.

What people fail to appreciate is that it isn't about the isolated incidence of not washing hands after going to the toilet. It's the good habits it engenders in a family, a street, a village, a community, a society. It's like wearing a seat belt, you can convince yourself until you're blue in the face that you're a safe driver, you haven't ever need to strap yourself in. But there'll come a time, that one crucial moment when you realised the benefit of all those previous times you did the right thing, now it saved your life, because you're in the habit. It pays off. Same with handwashing, if you dont do it, it makes you feel grimy if it's been engrained as a lifelong habit.

I love going to places like Israel where there is a public wash hand basin in every restaurant and coffee shop, openly used by everyone dining there. It shows how seriously they take hygiene.

People's flippant minimising of a fundamental good habit is disturbingespecially when weve only just emerged from the Pandemic.

@asblindasabat can you put one of these on the back of your toilet door