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Original poster

How much ££ do you give your independent adult dc at xmas?

109 replies

Christmasinbed · 22/12/2022 08:43

I give mine money or gifts to the value of £50. If I buy a box of chocs too it's nearer 60. Do you think this is stingey? I'm talking about dc who have moved into their own homes & are independent.

OP posts:
Original poster
Christmasinbed · 22/12/2022 08:44

It's a lot for me 🙁

OP posts:
Huckleberries73 · 22/12/2022 08:44

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Huckleberries73 · 22/12/2022 08:45

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 22/12/2022 08:45

My DPs give my Dsis and I £150 each. They've done it for years and I really appreciate it as it lets me buy myself something I really want. I think it depends entirely on what you feel comfortable with giving.

NoSquirrels · 22/12/2022 08:46

Sounds all right to me! We’d get gifts to about that amount, and then when we got partners we’d get less (or the same between 2). Don’t give more than you can afford. Love isn’t measured in money.

Auntieobem · 22/12/2022 08:46

How long is a piece of string? Give what you can afford, what you feel comfortable with. My dc aren't yet independent (19 &14), but both MIL ans my DM give DP and I money for Christmas. They are both v generous, even though DP and I are financially independent.

Greyskyblue · 22/12/2022 08:47

You said it’s a lot for you, so it’s not mean. As you say yourself your kids are independent and have their own places, they wouldn’t want you to get into debt or go without.

Sadless · 22/12/2022 08:48

I give my son £100 cash and usual get his a expensive aftershave. This year he's asked for a certain aftershave after I had already got him one. So this year its £100 two aftershaves and chocolate.
It depends on what you can afford really

Sal

Billybagpuss · 22/12/2022 08:48

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Yes this

my DP are comfortably off and always give cash. The dgc’s (adults independent) get £50 each DP and I get joint anywhere from £150 to £350 depending on how flush they’re feeling. I think it might be the higher end this year as they’ve just had a policy mature but they have helped us out a lot with dd wedding this year so who knows, and whilst I always very much appreciate it, I appreciate spending Christmas Day with them and would prefer they spend their money on themselves.

GrannieD · 22/12/2022 08:49

I'm giving mine £50 each as they are both working so they buy stuff all year round when they want it. DGK have got wrapped up pressies tho.

ElbowsandArses · 22/12/2022 08:50

My mum spends circa £50 on me and I wish she wouldn’t because she can’t afford it. She won’t hear of spending less because it’s “stingy”. 🙄 (I spend about the same on her which is also a struggle but in context …). The in-laws all happily do Secret Santa which works well.

NoelNoNoel · 22/12/2022 08:51

I have one DC who has moved out (34) and two younger adult DC (22 and 24) who love at home. I spend £150 to £180 on
each of them. My plan is to freeze this amount so over the years the amount wil go down in real terms.
OP your amount sounds generous, when I was an independent adult I would receive for example the equivalent of a £25 toiletry set or £20 Next Voucher and some chocolate and I was very happy with that.

KangarooKenny · 22/12/2022 08:51

I’ve got 2 adult kids, one in a rental the other at Uni, and my DH insists on still spending a couple of hundred on gifts for both. I think it’s ridiculous at their age. In fact I had a conversation with one the other day and they were saying that present giving back and forth is ridiculous, and I had to agree.

KangarooKenny · 22/12/2022 08:52

I think that once they are parents themselves the amount should drop, as they are effectively sharing their quota.

Original poster
Christmasinbed · 22/12/2022 08:55

I'm feeling really poor now compared to all these generous gifters

OP posts:
Original poster
Christmasinbed · 22/12/2022 08:56

One of my dc moaned that it felt like I didn't love them very much😭

OP posts:
vdbfamily · 22/12/2022 08:56

My parents give us all a Christmas card with a £50 note in. Sounds fine what you are doing x

NoSquirrels · 22/12/2022 08:58

Christmasinbed · 22/12/2022 08:56

One of my dc moaned that it felt like I didn't love them very much😭

I hope you told them it was all you could afford and it made you sad they think love is measured by money?

Ungrateful bugger.

ontmove · 22/12/2022 08:59

Christmasinbed · 22/12/2022 08:56

One of my dc moaned that it felt like I didn't love them very much😭

Anyone who moaned about getting £50 from me would be getting a lot less than that from then on.

bigbluebus · 22/12/2022 08:59

Adult DS is getting a £400 gift this year but only because he's saving up to move out and we've bought something he will need when he leaves and we'd have no doubt ending up buying it for him anyway!

He's been a student in previous years so probably spent £200 on him.

DS's mother usually gives us a joint cheque for £150 to spend.

FourChimneys · 22/12/2022 09:02

£1k each but it is part of what they are inheriting from grandparents. Very grateful and spent or saved wisely.

ChloeR81 · 22/12/2022 09:02

Absolutely fine! Since my sister and I had kids my parents spend £25-30 on each of us which I think is plenty and much appreciated. Used to be more pre kids but there’s loads of us now. You can get a lovely gift for £30.

Ragwort · 22/12/2022 09:04

Did your DC actually say that to you? That is absolutely shocking and I would suggest you say to them all 'as we are all independent adults now, the limit on a Christmas gift is £20 - or do a secret Santa - let's enjoy getting together for the meal, board games and films' if they turn their nose up at that you know what they think of you Sad. What do they spend on you out of interest?

user1964097 · 22/12/2022 09:06

It sounds like there is more than one so that is quite a lot.

For Christmas adult DS is having 2 board games from his Amazon list and some chocolates. Total about £40. He visits at Christmas so we generally get presents to unwrap rather than money which we give for his birthday.

Pelo22 · 22/12/2022 09:08

I usually just suggest something I want to my dad BlushGrin

One year it was a wool duvet but they had a great sale on so about £90
This year I've asked for perfume which is £60