How much ££ do you give your independent adult dc at xmas?

[Christmasinbed]

I give mine money or gifts to the value of £50. If I buy a box of chocs too it's nearer 60. Do you think this is stingey? I'm talking about dc who have moved into their own homes & are independent.

Dh parents give £40 between us

We have cut down this year as really no one needs anything. I decided on about a 120 pound amount each for all of them. It has made shopping much easier tbh and has made me really think about what to get them. Whoever is actually with us on the day itself gets a Christmas stocking. I decided to stop that for everyone if they are not here. Ditto my H and I - we have limited our buy to each other to the same amount as we just tend to buy what we want.

Me and my siblings do a secret Santa with our DPs and spouses. To the value of £20. That's it! We are all adults and independent (although one sibling still lives in the family home, but that's through choice and mutual agreement, not through a lack of options or finances). DH and I are definitely the most financially squeezed out of all of us. This arrangement suits us all fine. Our DPs give us £100 each cash on our birthdays and usually a small present on top too, so we get a lot more for birthdays. We aren't a Christian family though, as children our DPs didn't buy us anything at all for Christmas anyway.

Me and my siblings are all independent adults. My parents give us each money or gifts to the value of £50 for Christmas and birthdays. This includes our partners. I think it's generous and am always grateful.

It depends on how old they are and your income.

I'm 43, a high earner (as is my OH) and I really WISH our aging low-income parents would stop buying us presents they can ill-afford - there is nothing we need and if there was, we can comfortably afford to buy it ourselves.

(Believe me, I have tried very hard to stop this for about 10 years now, but it falls on deaf ears.)

18-25-year-olds - maybe a slightly higher value, because they're unlikely to be earning well enough at that stage to buy their own 'nice' things, but once somebody is over 25, living and earning independently, an upper limit of £50 is more than enough (and then only if you can afford it - if not, a £10 Secret Santa is fine).

Exactly this , it is all unique to the person individual circumstances.

Ungrateful brat.

People gift their adult children? My parents stopped at 18.

Thank you for the virtual slap ❤️
You're absolutely right, they probably are overwhelmed (& probably regift the crap I give them).
My dm (passed away this year) always gave me £50, the same as your dm, it did feel generous.
I, also like your dm, own my house outright and am careful with money, still working full time.
I'm going to definitely curb my spending next year

It's all relative OP. You have to stay within your means. I give 100 each and some bits to open but I prepare for Christmas way way in advance.

If any of my kids moaned that it wasn't enough. They would be told they wouldnt be getting anything other than a bottle for Christmas in future. What do they get you?

My dad has lots in the bank, but I just get a box of chocolates and nothing for the kids now , and that’s fine.

I’ve bought my ds a new rug for his room (£30) and a new water bottle for work.

I feel shit to be honest, but he’s 20 and in a good job and has far more disposable income than me.

I normally get £200, this year I got £100, because my parents bought new car. I never expect anything. It's nice though.

@lynthesearesexpeople My DS has not left home yet, he does pay rent and he proudly told me he is in top 10% income for his age bracket. He has more disposable income than me that’s for sure. He is on a trajectory to earn more than I ever did by the time he is 30.

This year we are being generous (for us) and spending around £200 per adult DC but this is because we won some money on the postcode lottery a few weeks ago. Normally we would spend around £100 per DC.

All were offered the choice of cash or gift but they all opted for a gift of some sort.

I have given DD a few little presents and £200. My parents gave us gifts right up until they died. I thought all parents did that?

My mam and stepdad are very comfortably off and have probably spent £900 between the 4 of us as a family. We are obviously very grateful.
My dad who is struggling with heating bills has just dropped me a bottle of wine over as a present. Still very much appreciated and I would hate for him to spend more than he could afford. Still love him just as much.

I get £350 from my dad, but he's pretty comfortably off. There's no right answer. You give what you want to and can afford. I'd be grateful if it was £50.

This is the first year I am giving my eldest cash. He is married with a child and I know the increased cost of living is hitting so he will get $250 (Aus) as well as the same value in presents. I have bought DIL something really nice she wants as I know she no longer has a lot of disposable income but her parents are well off so I would imagine they will treat her too. I prefer not to give cash but will no longer buy “stuff” for the sake of it and they are too disorganised for vouchers!

My parents don't give me cash for Christmas, they give me presents - reading this thread, that would seem to be odd. But they do give me cash at other times of the year when it's actually needed, for example they paid for a new boiler earlier this year.

I give one a bank transfer as they live abroad. One would probably be happy with cash, does anyone recommend gift cards for their AC? And what about the AC’s partner? I’ve often given them posh socks.

Other AC is a high earner and goes completely mad buying presents for everyone, even labelling them from the individual pets. They like unwrapping parcels but there’s nothing they need, or haven’t already bought for themselves.

I’m only on state pension now and it’s horrid knowing whatever I do will be disappointing.

Sometimes we’ll do small gifts for the adults- usually around £30/40 but for the last couple of years we’ve just bought for the kids so I get nothing from my parents. They’re surviving on small pensions and gave me so much as a child (often when they probably couldn’t afford to!) I host Christmas and they will bring lots of snacks things and alcohol.

Reading this makes me realise how much help other people must get generally from family in terms of finances! Can’t imagine being gifted 1K.

My mum always spent 25 on me as an adult, now it has probably gone up to 40 or 50 in the last few years. think this is very generous of her.
I am looking forward to spending the christmas period with her far more than thinking about presents.
I think you should tell your child you found that comment hurtful. Hopefully they just said it without thinking and will apologise.
I hope you all have a lovely Christmas 🎄

My lovely MIL gives me and my husband £15 each. I'm spending mine on a couple of cocktails in the New Year.

Gift up to £100 or that in cash. Dc also get stockings and gifts as one is still under 18. I suspect we spend about £200 on each over all.