How much ££ do you give your independent adult dc at xmas?

[Christmasinbed]

I give mine money or gifts to the value of £50. If I buy a box of chocs too it's nearer 60. Do you think this is stingey? I'm talking about dc who have moved into their own homes & are independent.

My DParents give (3 of us) a tub of quality streets/roses/celebrations each for our respective families, and a poinsettia plant each. It's plenty! £50-60 each seems excessive to me, but whatever you're comfortable with and can afford.

Merry Christmas 🎄

Probably £100-£120. Slightly less than I spend on the one still at school
They each get £60 worth of presents from my Mum

My son is 28
my only child

normally I would spend around £300 -£500
on him in money & gifts which is a lot I know but he’s my only child and I can afford it .

This year he has had a massive deposit for a flat and all the fees

a newish car and paid off a loan

and I’ve given him pretty much all the money he needed to buy all the furniture and stuff for his flat so everything from 2 kingsize beds wardrobes a sofa tv , to a bin and dish cloths 😂

This came from an Inheritance so not my earned money as such

I’ve still spent a few hundred on him because I can afford it at present

Present wise I bought him an heated dreamland Alaskan husky throw & a Oddie because he was admiring mine

a large neon party light that he was going to buy
Some aftershave, boxer shorts, a new sport bag that he mentioned in passing and a few other bits and pieces for his flat

he probably isn’t expecting much as he already had a huge amount already

We only exchange small token gifts ( £15-£20) with adult family members. Once children reach 18 they are included in that rule. This has been agreed with my family and DH's. Works well.

My DM will give me and DH a box of chocolates and the kids get £50 each . We buy my parents a nice bottle of something each.

We are all fairly well off and could afford to do more but all of us agree is not necessary to spend so much money at Christmas.

We give £100 plus gift, like clinique gift set ( bought when they are half price on BF).

But if there comes a time we can't afford that I'd happliy drop it.

My DPs moved to giving us £100 each year, 30 years ago so I feel I'm doing the minimum!

Imagine how far that £100 originally went!

@Wedonttalkaboutboris There is something wrong with my child, aspergers possibly but high functioning. It has always been a struggle to teach them any social skills. They had problems with physical skills as a child, their school mentioned dyspraxia but unable to get a diagnosis as they were coping, but seem to manage now. It's been hard.

Wow 😳 I really hope he appreciates how lucky he is!

Once the kids are adults it is fair to have a chat about limits on gifts for Christmas. I would not want to spend more than they can afford or it could make them feel like over indulging on me. One of my children always wants a donation to charity. That is a bit boring for the gift giver but indicates the difference in people. You are spending enough. Secret Santa with a set limilt is fun and less expensive.

Yes he does I’m massively proud of him
to be honest growing up I did think he would struggle to get a job and leave home
he is massively dyslexic and although not officially assessed probably mildly Autistic

But he’s always had a job since he was 15

and he does security and has just taken a new job on around 35k which is excellent

he’s a hard worker and every interview he’s gone for in recent years they have offered him the job .
he learnt to drive - took him 4 times to pass his test 😂

he’s got a lovely partner and lots of friends

I do spoil him - I pay for his car insurance & his phone but he’s dosent take it for granted and he’s not spoiled

it’s easier for me as I just have the one kid