How much ££ do you give your independent adult dc at xmas?

[Christmasinbed]

I give mine money or gifts to the value of £50. If I buy a box of chocs too it's nearer 60. Do you think this is stingey? I'm talking about dc who have moved into their own homes & are independent.

Thats fine. I get £50 off my parents and a small gift.
They aren't hard up but are careful as money was a worry when we were younger.

On presents £250 each plus £70 ish for partners if they have any then £100 cash. Plus £50+ on adult nephew. We are well off though and don't plan on taking it with us. I do have to fight the urge to give more but we always take them on holiday too. My parents, also wealthy give us and my siblings £160 in cash.

£0! My parents randomly decided to stop buying me and my brother christmas presents- they can afford it but chosen not too. I still get them one though.

This. I'd be wondering about where they'd got this idea from that 'money = love', that's awful.

Only way it could be anywhere near stingy would be if you were well off and they were struggling for money, but seeing as that's far from the case, of course it's not stingy, it's very generous.

My parents give me £70. That's perfectly acceptable!

But don't compare yourself with others on this thread, you have no idea of their circumstances.

I'd be telling the moany DC that it felt like they didn't love me very much if they wanted me to give them more than I could afford at Christmas.

Mone are independent, own homes, good jobs. They get £200 cash each and about £100 worth of gifts

Since having my own DC both set of GP only buy for the kids before that we probably got a gift up to the value of £50, definitely not more than that. I think that's plenty.

Mil gave us £400 this year. My parents are giving us £500
And very kindly my granny gave us £500. My granny is 92 and trying to get rid of her cash

I usually spend £1000 between dd and her dh, they're mid 30s, can I afford it, yes, do I want to spend that much, no.
I keep telling myself every year to cut it down.
They don't really ask for expensive items, usually an item of clothing or something for the house but I end up running around like a headless chicken buying crap they don't need so they have plenty of pressies. Then I give them money too.
They have a budget of £50 for each other.
I really need to stop!
This isn't a bragging post "ooh look at me, I'm not struggling"
It's more of "I'm an idiot post, someone give me a virtual slap"

Goodness my parents have never given us Christmas money, not at any age. Never knew this was a thing! They are very well off so not that they couldn’t afford it. They’ve helped us out with house deposit so I would never grumble. Wouldn’t grumble even if they hadn’t.

OP if you want to give money give what you can afford/want to. Ignore what anyone else does.

Why @campervan? If you are happy and they are happy then all power to you. Life is hard enough, dont beat yourself up as you can afford to be generous to people you love. Im sure they are grateful too.

My parents stopped giving us anything more than a £5-10 token gift a few years ago, sometimes there's no gift for me and my siblings at all. They do buy my husband a present worth about £20 though. They've spent hundreds on my children, which is obviously great because i don't need money off them- we are doing ok enough and id rather they spent their own money on themselves and they want to spoil their dgc. Because they buy for my children i get them a couple of gifts from the children to give to their grandparents.

Long and short of it, your child is an ungrateful rude adult. Id go back to your budget and work out how much you can afford (if you still want to give them cash) without leaving yourself struggling. If that's £0, then they get £0.

Depends what you can afford. If I could afford to treat them More then I would ! If I couldn't then 50 is nice.

You give what you can afford, I think, so you can't just compare like this. The dc should be grateful whatever they get as well!

All the "kids" in my family now earn much more than their parents.
Money doesn't change hands, but gifts do, it's more like local honey or some weird independent pickle maker , not expensive but thoughtful . Added value if you like because I could never afford to give money.

Consider yourself virtually slapped.

If I was your DC I'd find 'plenty of pressies' exhausting. You must be giving them so much stuff, half of which they probably don't want or need. They'll have to find places to store it or try and give it away when they think you won't notice.

DM gives me a voucher for about £50 and some chocolates and that feels very generous, especially as we have more disposable income than she does - she's not on the breadline, but probably only feels financially comfortable because she owns her own home outright and is naturally frugal/doesn't spend a lot.

I'd be so hurt if an adult DC said that to me.

Like everyone else has said, it's about what you can afford, and feel comfortable with.

My DP have always been very generous. It's just my DM & she gave me €300 & my DC €150 each. She is extremely generous to my DC (and all her GC) for birthdays, trips, exams and so on.

My DC have moved into teen years & it's the first year I don't have the kind of money I'd ideally like to get their presents - everything is much more expensive when they are not little any more. My kids are good tho, and happy to work within my budget.

Please tell your DC their comment was unacceptable.

What do they get you then ?
We don’t have a budget so this year I’ve spent about £250 on one and £400 on the other , I never give money .

My mum asked what I wanted and I suggested a Clinique lipstick and a Monty Don book. Total about £35. Difficult to predict if she’ll stick to it or add to it, it’s on the lower end. My brother said I’m a mug as he always asks for expensive trainers and she always buys them. But I have 3 children and a husband they buy for too, so I don’t want to take the piss.

If my DD said this to me, I’d be so upset that she equates love with money.

I spend about £100 on adult dss but this is in the main because I want him to feel like it's equal to his half siblings. We agreed with my Mum and Dad to stop all presents about a decade ago and have saved so unnecessary gift buying.

I am a grown up independent child and I think they usually spend a hundred or so pounds, maybe a bit more when you add "bits". But when you tot up what I have spent on them it's not much off even I don't think.

And they (and I) have the money.

Mine is a millionaire and gave me 1300 for me, 2 dcs xmas and presumably birthday as they forgot it.
We are not at all well off.We are a lot happier as a family however, so it isnt everything!

Whats affordable to you and everyones amount will be different
My mum normally gives kids £100 and myself and dh £50 but now she is a pensioner ans not working she is cutting that down , which is fine