Husband hasn't come home

[blackandwhitecat123]

I need advice please- my husband went out for his work night out last night and just hasn't come back. He told me the arrangement was that work would pay for a taxi home, then I would drive him back to collect his car today.

I last heard from him at around 6pm yesterday evening and not a dicky bird since. Sent him a message asking if he was having a good time at around 11pm, he hasn't read it. I thought that was odd as he would usually message me once or twice during the evening or at least let me know if he was planning on being late, and I would do the same. But I wasn't too worried and just went to sleep- assumed he was having a dance and a drink and a nice time. Got a sick toddler and I have the lurgy too so I was knackered.

I've just woken up and he isn't home, his phone rings when I call. WhatsApp messages are on one tick.

I'm absolutely frantic, this is really, REALLY unusual behaviour. He's a real home bird, not a big drinker normally (although has his moments) and likes his colleagues very much but isn't particularly close friends with them. He's just not someone who would stay out all night unexpectedly without saying ANYTHING, and I know he has battery because his phone rings. What do I do???

I'm guessing you live in a major city, there are vast areas of England where flagging down a taxii simply isn't a thing. Other than when visiting London I couldn't tell you the last time I saw a flagable taxi

Shit stirrer for saying I think its bollocks? OK hun.

Good job op has her own mind and probably filed my opinion away in her "ignore" mental filing cabinet. I don't for one minute think she'd do anything rash based off my opinion.

I still think its bollocks, op doesn't, alls well. Calm down.

Thanks @EarthlyNightshade, it's water off a duck's back. And this thread has been so helpful to me to get some insights into how my DH thinks, so I thank everyone for that. I completely trust him (although I know it all sounds bizarre) so I'm not going to start investigating or doubting him.

It always rings over Whatsapp, even if the phone is off.

When he’s feeling ok again, don’t let him think he should give up on socialising. He will be fine with a bit of support.

When was the last time you saw a working public phone? They are as rare as hen's teeth round here.

Do you think he'd remember her number?

I know DP's but I'm like Rain Man with numbers. There's not a chance in hell he'd know mine.

He did, he says he walked quite a long distance to try and find a public phone but the only one he found was out of service.

He didn't know my number I don't think but he could have called his parents' landline.

Moral of this story.

Always carry some cash.
Have essential phone numbers written down.
Never rely on your phone.
Glad he's home safe and well OP

If you phone someone on WhatsApp it still rings if the person doesn’t have signal or if there phone is off

I don't believe his version of events OP.

Sorry if I’ve missed this but why didn’t he go back to the venue? Even if it was closed he could have waited until staff left and asked to borrow a phone? I’d be slightly concerned about his critical thinking, I mean would he have done something so ridiculous if he had the kids?

So, what is your theory?

he could have waited until staff left and asked to borrow a phone

That's not something likely to be possible for someone with social anxiety.

Oh bless, your husband sounds lovely and you seem to have a good relationship with him. Ignore all the old trouts on here carrying their own baggage repeating that can’t be true/this can’t be true even though it’s previously been debunked!

Very glad to see he’s ok and is home safe. Have a great Christmas 🎄

Yeah that definitely wouldn't be creepy to linger outside til someone finishes work in the middle of the night and ask to use their phone. They definitely wouldn't be freaked out...

I believe him and it reminds me of that Rhod Gilbert documentary about shyness. He said that he slept rough once rather than checking into a hotel.

Sounds like a case of alien abduction to me. Offer him a bag of frozen peas if necessary.

Seriously though, OP, so glad all is well 😊

Sorry but he is telling you absolute bollocks. If his phone battery was dead, it would just go to voicemail.

He did, he says he walked quite a long distance to try and find a public phone but the only one he found was out of service.

Oh come on... well all know that red phone boxes just host defibrillators and books these days. He is fobbing you off.

@sue20 the OP posted at 10:30 explaining that it was about a 50 mile walk and he would it have been able to work out a route anyway without a phone. You posted at 10:59 saying he should have walked home. So you’re not being truthful about having used “see all” and read all OP’s posts before you posted.

you also posted the below:

Yes I'm getting pretty fed up with Mumsnet. I find the trail really hard to handle and post something which is then proved inappropriate but I hadn't yet got to the later post which shows this. Im going to try and delete my last post because suddenly this post morphed into a conversation about the DH being ND which completely alters the picture. The OP didn't refer to this possibility in original post, OK she was in a panicked state but it’s a pretty essential point. She seemed happy enough to embrace this as an explanation later on, invalidating a lot of the comments including mine.

You were very clear there that you were only going on information in the Original Post and were unhappy that OP had only mentioned neurodiversity in later posts- but those were all posts which you could have read via See All before you commented. So it seemed pretty clear to me that you had no idea about “See All”. I also added the information about the App in case it was because you were using the App that you had not seen See All.

You also talked about trying to delete posts, which anyone who has been on MN for more than a very short time will know is not possible. I was trying to be helpful, but also thought it a bit rich the way you went off on a rant about how rubbish the forum systems were when you were clearly still quite new to it, hence my somewhat exasperated tone in the first part of my response.

😆

This is the new "cancel the cheque"

Not sure I believe it either. However I do believe that he does not know your number. I have no idea what my partners is and I can be damn sure he does not know mine.

Why is there any need when they are stored as a name.

However there are more holes in the story than 7 tonnes of swiss cheese.