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Original poster

Husband hasn't come home

576 replies

blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 07:17

I need advice please- my husband went out for his work night out last night and just hasn't come back. He told me the arrangement was that work would pay for a taxi home, then I would drive him back to collect his car today.

I last heard from him at around 6pm yesterday evening and not a dicky bird since. Sent him a message asking if he was having a good time at around 11pm, he hasn't read it. I thought that was odd as he would usually message me once or twice during the evening or at least let me know if he was planning on being late, and I would do the same. But I wasn't too worried and just went to sleep- assumed he was having a dance and a drink and a nice time. Got a sick toddler and I have the lurgy too so I was knackered.

I've just woken up and he isn't home, his phone rings when I call. WhatsApp messages are on one tick.

I'm absolutely frantic, this is really, REALLY unusual behaviour. He's a real home bird, not a big drinker normally (although has his moments) and likes his colleagues very much but isn't particularly close friends with them. He's just not someone who would stay out all night unexpectedly without saying ANYTHING, and I know he has battery because his phone rings. What do I do???

OP posts:
Tereo · 22/12/2022 09:19

My husband s quirky too (probably mild ND too) and although intelligent and reliable can imagine him doing something like this. Part of it is I think not valuing themselves enough... Also I bet he doesn't know your phone number off by heart so couldn't use garage/hotel? My husband doesn't even know his own phone number. He's very dyslexic. This is a man who holds down a good job and has been providing well for 20 years!

fenellavonspurtz · 22/12/2022 09:21

Usually you can press for help on car parks that get locked (on the barrier where you get the ticket), or else they have a number to call - which is useless if your phone is out of battery. Presumably you're getting him a phone power bank, spare USB cable and pocket phone number book for Christmas OP?!

Original poster
blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 09:22

SallyWD · 22/12/2022 09:19

He couldn't have gone back to the work event and borrowed a colleague's phone?

No I think they all left at around the same time- colleagues in taxis and DH back to the car park. He just didn't want the faff of doing the trip back to collect the car today as he didn't end up drinking.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Relationship problems
RampantIvy · 22/12/2022 09:23

Presumably you're getting him a phone power bank, spare USB cable and pocket phone number book for Christmas OP?!

I was going to suggest getting a power bank for him as well.

JustDanceAddict · 22/12/2022 09:24

Glad he’s ok.
re ringing - DS tried to call me the other night as he forgot his keys but my phone died - it must’ve been ringing his end as otherwise he wouldn’t have tried more than once.
one tick is def delivered but not read.

Original poster
blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 09:24

fenellavonspurtz · 22/12/2022 09:21

Usually you can press for help on car parks that get locked (on the barrier where you get the ticket), or else they have a number to call - which is useless if your phone is out of battery. Presumably you're getting him a phone power bank, spare USB cable and pocket phone number book for Christmas OP?!

Yes to all the above 😆 a power bank would have prevented the entire fiasco 😖

OP posts:
Megifer · 22/12/2022 09:24

ABBAsnumberonefan · 22/12/2022 08:54

Did you even read what she said? Stop it. He’d left the colleagues AFTER the taxis had LEFT. Presumably they weren’t partying in the car park and he walked over. At that point he knew it was locked and in this era no phone = no calling for a taxi and no ordering an Uber. That ship had sailed. Hope that explains it for you.

Don’t be dense - not everything is a conspiracy ffs. You’re just being a stirrer and you know it.

Show quote history

I'm assuming he went back to where the taxis were picking people up, they don't tend to arrive in a herd at the same time to pick everyone up, so its pretty certain there were some stragglers?

No need to be rude 🤣 I think its total bullshit, you don't. Who cares as long as ops happy with the explanation

Kittykat9070 · 22/12/2022 09:25

@blackandwhitecat123

Whatsapp does ring, even if phone switched off or battery dead!
you’ll get one tick as it’s not on, but it will still ring. Put your phone on airplane mode, then ring your WhatsApp! It’ll ring, but you won’t get the call

FrostyFifi · 22/12/2022 09:25

OP poor yoy, you must have been terrified!
I have a friend who would haveca similar thought process, minus the tears as he's more like Spock so as much as it would sound suss from many blokes, I can see that it's plausible in your case.

Blocked · 22/12/2022 09:27

Thing is, his phone being off doesn't actually mean his battery died. He might have just went somewhere and turned it off. Ringing you in floods makes me think he has a guilty conscience.

RampantIvy · 22/12/2022 09:29

Blocked · 22/12/2022 09:27

Thing is, his phone being off doesn't actually mean his battery died. He might have just went somewhere and turned it off. Ringing you in floods makes me think he has a guilty conscience.

Why don't you read the OP's updates and other people's experiences of ND behaviour before projecting your man hating insecurities? Hmm

Original poster
blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 09:29

Re: taxis, there wouldn't have been stragglers. It's a small business, only a few employees.

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 22/12/2022 09:30

Was there no taxi rank or do people have to book a taxi to be able to get one?

Original poster
blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 09:30

I would be much more suspicious if he said he had slept on someone's sofa 😆 that would be out of character, this is completely within the realms of normal for him. This is just the first time the consequences have been quite so ridiculous.

OP posts:
FlyingOverOrchid · 22/12/2022 09:31

Surely after realising the car park was locked he could have just walked back to the establishment him and his work colleagues were at and use a phone? This story sounds exactly what it is… a fictional story.

Original poster
blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 09:33

RampantIvy · 22/12/2022 09:30

Was there no taxi rank or do people have to book a taxi to be able to get one?

I don't know as I wasn't there but it wasn't in a big city. And he wouldn't have just got in a taxi without knowing how to pay the taxi driver. He only ever pays for stuff with his phone.

OP posts:
Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 22/12/2022 09:34

So what was the explanation for his phone ringing when it was meant to have died?!

Original poster
blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 09:35

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 22/12/2022 09:34

So what was the explanation for his phone ringing when it was meant to have died?!

According to PPs it still rings if you call on WhatsApp, I didn't try to call him in the normal way. Which in hindsight, I should have done.

OP posts:
tunthebloodyalarmoff · 22/12/2022 09:36

His lying. His phone did not run out of charge because it was ringing. Sorry but his guilty as hell.

RampantIvy · 22/12/2022 09:37

He only ever pays for stuff with his phone.

I think he needs to get in the habit of carrying his debit card with him from now on.

DH is unable to "think outside the box" as well and gets panicky when he can't think of a solution to anything out of the ordinary. He seems utterly incapable of rational and logical thought sometimes. However, he is obsessed with never running out of charge on his phone, so this scenario wouldn't have happened. I'm glad he is home and safe now @blackandwhitecat123

Just stop it @FlyingOverOrchid Hmm

Sparklfairy · 22/12/2022 09:38

blackandwhitecat123 · 22/12/2022 09:35

According to PPs it still rings if you call on WhatsApp, I didn't try to call him in the normal way. Which in hindsight, I should have done.

Show quote history

At some point get him to turn his phone off and ring his whatsapp while he's in the room with you. You'll see what we mean Smile

I keep coming back to this thread purely to read the posts from the perpetually suspicious that just keep coming. It's like they jump to conclusions so quickly they don't even bother to read the updates Grin Their lives must be exhausting to be suspicious of everything ALL the time!

GnomeDePlume · 22/12/2022 09:39

It always fascinates me on these types of threads how many posters assume that the rest of the world is exactly like their town/city.

  • Secure parking which is locked up at night. My town hasn't got it so it can't be true
  • Nobody to ask for help. My town is a throbbing metropolis full of people willing/able to help so it can't be true
  • Nowhere open to ask for help. My town is open 24/7 so it can't be true

Not everywhere is like everywhere else. My town shuts down after closing time. The only people sober enough to ask for help would likely be as stuck as me!

It was a series of unfortunate events which in hindsight look like a monumental cock up but in the moment are just bad luck. It is the Law of Sod that you can't get access to your car on the day that your phone runs out of charge and it is late at night.

RainandIce · 22/12/2022 09:39

OP i'm glad you are in a marriage where you trust your husband. It's actually lovely to see.

My husband has done stupid things in the past like this, except he got locked in somewhere rather than out. If he told me this is what happened to me, I would believe him 100 percent.

You know your husband much better than randoms on the internet. I hope you're not entertaining the doubters.

Karwomannghia · 22/12/2022 09:39

I think in future it would be a good idea for him to know what to do if he is stuck somewhere (ie how to contact you)

Turtledoveholly · 22/12/2022 09:40

OP please don’t just let this one go - your husband was lucky this time - last week it was -5 at night - he may well not have been so lucky if he found himself in this scenario last week ..