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Original poster

Do I give away all DCs Christmas Presents?

228 replies

OpenedPresents · 21/12/2022 14:16

I won’t but it’s so tempting as punishment

All presents where wrapped and put in my wardrobe apart from Santa presents which are in the shed. I don’t put any presents under the tree until Christmas Eve apart from the ones that DC is given by school/activities.

DC is 7. I do it because they can’t be trusted to not open them.

I went for a shower and DC went into my room, as in opened my closed bedroom door, and has opened 2 presents. I thought they were on their tablet in the living room.

I’ve taken the stuff away and they won’t be getting it as punishment but I hadn’t got them much this year due to money being tight and they opened their main present from me.

I don’t want to have to get a lock for my door, DC never normally comes into my room, even at night if they wake up/are ill, they knock and I take them back to their room and deal with them there (they have a pull out bed so I can still be nearby if they need me) - it's always been the way.

Santa only buys 1 present and the stocking here, the stocking is done by my parents and delivered after DC is in bed on Christmas Eve (they do this for all 3 of their grandchildren and my own grandparents used to do mine, even when I no longer believed they still delivered them once I was asleep on CE)

So what do I do now? I can’t afford anymore presents for them as I don’t get paid again until 27th December. They’ll now have about 3 things under the tree from me on Christmas Eve and it feels pathetic or is that the consequence? They won’t care as ExH spends loads on them at Christmas so it’s even worse.

OP posts:
Ijuststoodonlego · 22/12/2022 18:37

TeenDivided · 21/12/2022 14:23

The punishment is the lack of surprise on Christmas day.
It's not worth falling out about.

Agree with this.

Pinkyxx · 22/12/2022 18:39

I did this too as a child, along with my brother. We were overcited and meant no harm at all. Parents reaction was horrific & spoilt Christmas for everyone.. I still remember if nearly 40 years later! This is not a hill to die on rather a teachable moment about trust.

Pick your battles OP.. life is too short!

CrazyLadie · 22/12/2022 18:40

OpenedPresents · 21/12/2022 14:16

I won’t but it’s so tempting as punishment

All presents where wrapped and put in my wardrobe apart from Santa presents which are in the shed. I don’t put any presents under the tree until Christmas Eve apart from the ones that DC is given by school/activities.

DC is 7. I do it because they can’t be trusted to not open them.

I went for a shower and DC went into my room, as in opened my closed bedroom door, and has opened 2 presents. I thought they were on their tablet in the living room.

I’ve taken the stuff away and they won’t be getting it as punishment but I hadn’t got them much this year due to money being tight and they opened their main present from me.

I don’t want to have to get a lock for my door, DC never normally comes into my room, even at night if they wake up/are ill, they knock and I take them back to their room and deal with them there (they have a pull out bed so I can still be nearby if they need me) - it's always been the way.

Santa only buys 1 present and the stocking here, the stocking is done by my parents and delivered after DC is in bed on Christmas Eve (they do this for all 3 of their grandchildren and my own grandparents used to do mine, even when I no longer believed they still delivered them once I was asleep on CE)

So what do I do now? I can’t afford anymore presents for them as I don’t get paid again until 27th December. They’ll now have about 3 things under the tree from me on Christmas Eve and it feels pathetic or is that the consequence? They won’t care as ExH spends loads on them at Christmas so it’s even worse.

I am a tough mum, I have a rule in my house if ya find the present it gets returned and not replaced. My boy wont even go into my room just in case he sees something 🤣🤣🤣 so yes I would return and he gets what is left

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Schnooze · 22/12/2022 18:40

I’d tell them that you are taking them back to the shop and they won’t get them now. The surprise will be that they do! Even better disguise the shape a bit.

CrazyLadie · 22/12/2022 18:42

OpenedPresents · 21/12/2022 14:32

Thanks everyone, I did say I wouldn't do it.

I will still give them the presents and there will still be surprises as they've not opened them all and there's still Santa.

I just panicked worrying about ExHs tree with loads under it but hey!

When your kids are older it's is not the presents they will remember it is your presence and all the little things you do to make it special they will remember

MildlyMiserable · 22/12/2022 19:02

Don’t worry about what is under your Ex’s tree.
Wrap the present and gift if, a lesson learned early for this one, they will have the other gifts and their stocking 😊
You will laugh about this in years to come and it will end up being a Christmas memory 🎄🎅

Canthave2manycats · 22/12/2022 19:06

CrazyLadie · 22/12/2022 18:40

I am a tough mum, I have a rule in my house if ya find the present it gets returned and not replaced. My boy wont even go into my room just in case he sees something 🤣🤣🤣 so yes I would return and he gets what is left

Show quote history

Mean!!!

User89174648495 · 22/12/2022 19:11

Honestly, I’d just wrap it up again and give it to him and move on.

one Christmas when I was about 8 I worked out all the presents I had from being under the tree and feeling them and Christmas was shit.

if it makes you feel better our youngest found 3 presents wrapped for them by the door from a lovely old lady we know. They sneaked them upstairs, opened them and over the last few days had eaten half a selection box. The consequence was that the others got theirs and to eat one and she didn’t. Then we moved on.

Mandyjack · 22/12/2022 19:13

Searching for presents is quite a normal thing for kids to do. I find it more odd that your kids have to knock to come in during the night if they are unwell and are then escorted back to their rooms.

Missingpop · 22/12/2022 19:16

Do you think Ex H spoils them out of guilt for the marriage breaking down?
He can’t by their love & respect x

Stressedmum1966 · 22/12/2022 19:19

No!

beatsin8s · 22/12/2022 19:21

anerki101 · 21/12/2022 14:39

People are saying your reaction is over the top. Honestly, I don't think it is. Those presents are for Christmas. DC knows that. DC will know what they did was wrong. Our presents go straight under the tree. They're under there between 1 - 2 weeks before Christmas. My 4 yo is super excited but he hasn't peeked or tried to open them because he knows he shouldn't and it's naughty. If a 4 yo can manage to resist surely a 7 yo can too? I think if it was me, I'd just put the present under the tree unwrapped on Christmas Eve. They've ruined it for themselves and that's that. They can still have the presents but they've got less surprises and that's their fault.

Is your 4 year old the eldest or only child?

Come back when they're 7 and are smart enough to sneakily look for presents. You may be lucky and they will never do such a thing, but I'm guessing otherwise and unless they get caught you'll never know...

Must say, the unwrapping/re-wrapping of presents PP have mentioned is very bold! I'd have been too frightened of getting caught!

Mumofthreeteenagers · 22/12/2022 19:37

It is naughty. but they are 7! How fun and child like. Made me smile. Sorry!

Why not give them community service and still they get the presents? They give back for to their wrong doing without loosing their freedom. They could do a days worth of house jobs. Or litter picking locally. Ir washing the car for a month each. That sort of thing.

Whatever ex gives, they will only ever really want you both. You cant buy love, you dont need to try. Be you, they will love you more for it. Maybe you wont see that for a few years but it will be there!

Happy Christmas op. Keep those naughty memories alive in all your memories!

Reigateforever · 22/12/2022 19:39

The only surprise your DC will have on Christmas Day is that there isn’t any. Do not worry. Please do not go and buy more otherwise they will do the same next year.

Octopusmittens · 22/12/2022 19:40

HBZ287 · 21/12/2022 14:21

Does it really matter? They were just overexcited. They’ve already ruined their own surprise. Just re wrap and carry on as normal.

This, Father Christmas stored them in Mum’s wardrobe 🤷🏻‍♀️

Whatstherecipe · 22/12/2022 19:43

I used to carefully remove the Sellotape and try and unwrap and rewrap the presents. 😬

Don't worry about it, hide them better next time, it's really no big deal, next year remind them it's off limits - and really don't worry about it being a competition with your ex. Yes, they might be momentarily impressed but long term the kids will remember the magic, fun, games and time you spent with them.

BellePeppa · 22/12/2022 19:49

I remember going in to my parents wardrobe when I was about the same age and found all my (as yet unwrapped) presents. Luckily I wasn’t caught as my mum would have been furious! When my own son was about 5 he started opening presents before Christmas Day but I managed to stop him after fully opening one of them. It happens. I struggled every year trying to find a safe place to put them 😁

Irongiant · 22/12/2022 19:56

I used to peek at my presents every year - I couldn’t help myself. My Mum would try to outwit me by hiding them in obscure places but it became a challenge to seek them out.

One year I found a box hidden under an old carpet in the garage and the only markings on it was a reference code. I then spent the day going through the Argos catalogue checking all the numbers until I found it.

On Christmas morning my mum was so chuffed she’d finally beaten me and I let her gloat until lunchtime at which point I showed her the photo of me with the box in the garage I’d taken weeks before.

I wish I could say I grew out of it, but I haven’t fully. My son is coming home for Christmas and has had parcels delivered here and my fingers are itching so badly to have a sneaky peek. I’m 53. 😂

Pinkittens · 22/12/2022 20:02

Pinkyxx · 22/12/2022 18:39

I did this too as a child, along with my brother. We were overcited and meant no harm at all. Parents reaction was horrific & spoilt Christmas for everyone.. I still remember if nearly 40 years later! This is not a hill to die on rather a teachable moment about trust.

Pick your battles OP.. life is too short!

This. Agree with it all. Did it too. It's one of my worst Christmas memories, the reaction to it.

AHG1234 · 22/12/2022 20:10

It’s Christmas. They are children. Wrap the presents again. Give them out. Do sad face. Next year be better at hiding and/or explain your disappointment.

Smoom · 22/12/2022 20:12

When I was young I once searched for the presents en found them unwrapped. I saw it all. A week later on Christmas Day it was no fun at all! I really regretted searching for the presents. Best lesson, never did it again.

Lovely13 · 22/12/2022 20:13

One of mine did this for his birthday. He was upset I didn’t rewrap. Also told me another year that I give rubbish presents. He’s now a nice adult!

Bloatstoat · 22/12/2022 20:16

My 7 year old absolutely cannot cope with surprises. Christmases and birthdays were being ruined by it, it wasn't just excited anticipation and wondering what he would get, it was full-blown panic with him unable to think about anything else and obsessed with finding out, it stopped him sleeping and he would just go mad once he had the presents, we had to lock them away before.

This year, we've told him what he's getting. He's still excited and looking forward to getting the presents, but he's able to keep calm and he's so much happier. I think it's really hard for some children to cope with not knowing, from the number of people here who have confessed to something similar, it's really common to want to find out what you've got. If I were you I'd let him have his presents.

Michelle1964 · 22/12/2022 20:20

I do it because they can’t be trusted to not open them.

Sounds like it’s your parenting that is at fault.

sweetheartyparty · 22/12/2022 20:35

I did it when I was a kid. My mam's disappointment and hurt as well as having no surprise on Xmas day was enough to stop me doing it ever again. They are probably already regretting it. Talk to them and say what you have said on here. Let it be a life lesson