Do I give away all DCs Christmas Presents?

[OpenedPresents]

I won’t but it’s so tempting as punishment

All presents where wrapped and put in my wardrobe apart from Santa presents which are in the shed. I don’t put any presents under the tree until Christmas Eve apart from the ones that DC is given by school/activities.

DC is 7. I do it because they can’t be trusted to not open them.

I went for a shower and DC went into my room, as in opened my closed bedroom door, and has opened 2 presents. I thought they were on their tablet in the living room.

I’ve taken the stuff away and they won’t be getting it as punishment but I hadn’t got them much this year due to money being tight and they opened their main present from me.

I don’t want to have to get a lock for my door, DC never normally comes into my room, even at night if they wake up/are ill, they knock and I take them back to their room and deal with them there (they have a pull out bed so I can still be nearby if they need me) - it's always been the way.

Santa only buys 1 present and the stocking here, the stocking is done by my parents and delivered after DC is in bed on Christmas Eve (they do this for all 3 of their grandchildren and my own grandparents used to do mine, even when I no longer believed they still delivered them once I was asleep on CE)

So what do I do now? I can’t afford anymore presents for them as I don’t get paid again until 27th December. They’ll now have about 3 things under the tree from me on Christmas Eve and it feels pathetic or is that the consequence? They won’t care as ExH spends loads on them at Christmas so it’s even worse.

I would have done the same as a child and I turned out fine.

@OpenedPresents
Yes, of course give the children the presents...it didn't ruin their surprise by seeing them early.. they were still surprised, but you didn't get to witness their joy...but surely it is about their joy first.
The part of your op that really stands out to me as a mum of 40 years, is the fact that they've gone into your room through a closed door when you were at your most vulnerable..in the shower. The temptation of their gifts has caused them to do something that you never expected and that they've been taught not to do...they've broken your trust. That feels awful!
If I were you, I'd carry on like the presents hadn't been seen, have a nice Christmas day with them. , Then sit them down with them maybe in a couple of days or so and talk to them about how temptation can cause us to do things that are out of character and there are consequences for actions...sometimes the actions are irreversible if the temptation was something horrendous like drugs or crimes. They will now have to earn your trust back....that will make a far greater impression than just taking their gifts away, especially if their dad is giving them many gifts.
My heart goes out to you, OP for the hurt you feel of them breaking your trust. But make it a teaching moment.

It's only a "display of 'you fucked up'" if you place huge importance on perfectly wrapped gifts under a tree, surely?

When I was younger, not all my gifts were wrapped for a variety of reasons - awkward shapes, size, lack of planning on my parents' part. It didn't ruin anything or make Christmas morning any less special.

It's just wrapping paper. The fact that it's missing really doesn't mean the child has fucked up - that's a very adult way of looking at it IMO. Kids just love presents, they don't care about the paper.

Of course they like the paper and the act of opening the gift, otherwise why did the op bother in the first place. It's just part of the ritual of present giving.

Honestly - I really couldn't have cared less whether my presents were wrapped or not aged seven, lol.

Even as an adult, I only wrap gifts because it's expected - if I can shove them in a gift bag and tape it shut, I absolutely will do.

@musicalkittens that's hilarious. I can just imagine their faces! Does serve them right for abandoning small children.
@CoffeandTiaMaria I'm so sorry. That was wicked of your mother.

But the presents wouldn't be unwapped because of apathy - it there because it's The Natural Consequence.

YABU just wrap them back up and they can open them christmas morning.
Find a better hiding place next year.

Surely hunting for your chirstmas presents is the most important part of the run up to christmas? That was my favourite bit! But I hate surprises tbh.

We used to do.this every year when were kids.....one year my poor mum had had enough after we used a stepladder to peer into the glass above the bedroom door of the room she'd locked our gifts in.......so she held back our main gift (( massive dolls house, like the big sandy house but a.handmade version )) and gave us it on new years day..... it served us right if I'm honest 🤣🤣🤣

I think it sounds a bit more like you're disappointed about what their reaction will now be Christmas morning, rather than the actual act of what they've done.

Their consequence is the fact they won't be surprised by the presents Christmas Day, so have created their own punishment.

I would just wrap back up and not mention it, if they think you've taken it and given it away like you'd said, then perhaps you will still get a nice reaction from them

This.

Yeah, and I really can't see the issue with that at all.

We're talking about a 7yo, not a 4yo. More than old enough to understand that's what happens when you go snooping.

I really tried to decipher it, then assumed it was a regional phrase

Well, I think it's miserable to make this point four days later on Christmas day. So, I guess we just disagree.

Fair enough, I just don't think it's making a point. It's what happens when you go and snoop and get caught. It's not a punishment or something nasty, just life.

Re-wrapping it won't magically make it a surprise again anyway, it's just for the parents' benefit really.

I snooped as a child - one year I noticed my parents got me a book I had already read, so the next day I casually mentioned the exact title of the book I asked for Christmas. My mum exchanged the wrong book for the correct one, so on Christmas morning I got the book I wanted 😇

I would be tempted not to rewrap them at all, waste of more paper as tehy know what's there.

My parents never, ever wrapped Christmas presents - Christmas was just as exciting and no bloody wrapping paper that fills up the bin!! We each came down to our own pile of presents. DH on the other hand had always his wrapped, so we agreed to wrap for our kids... and I fecking wrap them!!

I don't get the outrage of some posters - it's not like the lad took the fucking thing, and sold it down some back alley to buy coke!!!

I did this most years from the age of about 10 to about 25! I couldn’t resist, but then I’d be kicking myself for ruining the surprise. I’m still pretty bad at not snooping now. They’ll be more annoyed than you are. Re wrap and don’t mention it again.

Didn't we all, it's a part of the game of growing up! I recall finding some strange adult things in my parents' cupboards and drawers when I was on a recce!

I’ll ask them. They’re in their twenties now

OP
Are you for real? Considering buying more presents when you can ill afford what you already got.

We did that all of the time when we were 7 to 9ish sneaky looks it is what kids do and the surprise is still there getting the toy on

If the ex husband will get presents for the children (you make him sound like a 'Disney dad' incidentally), then no presents from you will not achieve much.

OP: it doesn't make sense to never give the gifts that have been opened.

Just wrap it up again - maybe in different paper.

They were just over-excitied.

Shouldn't have gone into your cupboard, but in the end it is for them, why ruin the present giving even more by wasting it?

Everyone is overwrought at this time.

In years to come you will laugh about this!

I did this every year. No regrets. I can see now I’m an adult that I hated surprises, still do. The pressure to ‘react’ felt overwhelming, so I needed to practice it first.