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Original poster

Do I give away all DCs Christmas Presents?

228 replies

OpenedPresents · 21/12/2022 14:16

I won’t but it’s so tempting as punishment

All presents where wrapped and put in my wardrobe apart from Santa presents which are in the shed. I don’t put any presents under the tree until Christmas Eve apart from the ones that DC is given by school/activities.

DC is 7. I do it because they can’t be trusted to not open them.

I went for a shower and DC went into my room, as in opened my closed bedroom door, and has opened 2 presents. I thought they were on their tablet in the living room.

I’ve taken the stuff away and they won’t be getting it as punishment but I hadn’t got them much this year due to money being tight and they opened their main present from me.

I don’t want to have to get a lock for my door, DC never normally comes into my room, even at night if they wake up/are ill, they knock and I take them back to their room and deal with them there (they have a pull out bed so I can still be nearby if they need me) - it's always been the way.

Santa only buys 1 present and the stocking here, the stocking is done by my parents and delivered after DC is in bed on Christmas Eve (they do this for all 3 of their grandchildren and my own grandparents used to do mine, even when I no longer believed they still delivered them once I was asleep on CE)

So what do I do now? I can’t afford anymore presents for them as I don’t get paid again until 27th December. They’ll now have about 3 things under the tree from me on Christmas Eve and it feels pathetic or is that the consequence? They won’t care as ExH spends loads on them at Christmas so it’s even worse.

OP posts:
TheKitchenWitch · 21/12/2022 21:15

@TinFoilHatty Sorry but that first mistyped post had me properly snorting with laughter

The opened presents jeep hod foe now 😂 😂 😂 😂

MadameMackenzie · 21/12/2022 21:25

The way you've worded your OP, you've honestly made yourself sound terrifyingly mean!

inpixiehollow · 21/12/2022 21:40

I remember sneaking into my mums bedroom to look in the wardrobe at the unwrapped gifts. It never made me less excited (probably moreso as I'd seen a wonderful toy I wanted). Luckily I never got caught but taking them back is quite mean. Children generally don't have much impulse control and at this time of year are very excited. The natural consequence is that those gifts are no longer a surprise but I don't feel you need to take any action..

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fenellavonspurtz · 22/12/2022 10:51

That's the consequence. No buying extra to essentially reward them for opening their presents early. Tough shit would be my response!

luckylavender · 22/12/2022 10:59

OpenedPresents · 21/12/2022 14:16

I won’t but it’s so tempting as punishment

All presents where wrapped and put in my wardrobe apart from Santa presents which are in the shed. I don’t put any presents under the tree until Christmas Eve apart from the ones that DC is given by school/activities.

DC is 7. I do it because they can’t be trusted to not open them.

I went for a shower and DC went into my room, as in opened my closed bedroom door, and has opened 2 presents. I thought they were on their tablet in the living room.

I’ve taken the stuff away and they won’t be getting it as punishment but I hadn’t got them much this year due to money being tight and they opened their main present from me.

I don’t want to have to get a lock for my door, DC never normally comes into my room, even at night if they wake up/are ill, they knock and I take them back to their room and deal with them there (they have a pull out bed so I can still be nearby if they need me) - it's always been the way.

Santa only buys 1 present and the stocking here, the stocking is done by my parents and delivered after DC is in bed on Christmas Eve (they do this for all 3 of their grandchildren and my own grandparents used to do mine, even when I no longer believed they still delivered them once I was asleep on CE)

So what do I do now? I can’t afford anymore presents for them as I don’t get paid again until 27th December. They’ll now have about 3 things under the tree from me on Christmas Eve and it feels pathetic or is that the consequence? They won’t care as ExH spends loads on them at Christmas so it’s even worse.

When I was about 9, I found all my wrapped presents that my mother had stashed at my grandmother's. I opened them all then resealed them. If anything I was even more excited to get them. I still remember it was Holly Hobbie dolls & the complete set of posters from Narnia. I'm quite old!

luckylavender · 22/12/2022 11:00

anerki101 · 21/12/2022 14:39

People are saying your reaction is over the top. Honestly, I don't think it is. Those presents are for Christmas. DC knows that. DC will know what they did was wrong. Our presents go straight under the tree. They're under there between 1 - 2 weeks before Christmas. My 4 yo is super excited but he hasn't peeked or tried to open them because he knows he shouldn't and it's naughty. If a 4 yo can manage to resist surely a 7 yo can too? I think if it was me, I'd just put the present under the tree unwrapped on Christmas Eve. They've ruined it for themselves and that's that. They can still have the presents but they've got less surprises and that's their fault.

That's a bit harsh.

Walkingthedog46 · 22/12/2022 11:13

Don’t re-wrap them - otherwise your DC will think they are getting another, different present on top of the one they’ve already seen. Just leave them under the tree, unwrapped. They’ll still be excited to get to use their present.

orbitalcrisis · 22/12/2022 13:51

@FourTeaFallOut A better wording would be "the only person I could be angry with was me..." But in all likelihood, it wouldn't be anger unless I'd spent ages planning something very specific and I'd just fucked it up, more likely I'd just be a bit disappointed.

SoftSheen · 22/12/2022 13:55

Yes YABU. By all means tell DC off, talk about the importance of trust etc, but give them the presents exactly as planned. The natural consequence of their action is that they have spoiled their own surprise.

Sunshine275 · 22/12/2022 17:08

I did this at a similar age with a doll. Served me right when the doll wouldn’t work on Xmas day I was gutted but definately let karma for snooping: never did it again as it spoilt it xx

Naughty1205 · 22/12/2022 17:59

He's 7! Poor kid, sorry but you're being way too harsh. Have not rtft but hope you've unclenched!

Justbefair · 22/12/2022 18:02

Didn't we all used to do this at some point? Hopefully they've learnt a lesson but I think just wrap them back up and they will still be happy. Kids are kids, even the good ones lol. Telling off, say they've spoilt it for themselves, continue as normal. Will be less stressful for you and them. Xxx

Snaketime · 22/12/2022 18:11

I havent RTFT and I hate to kick another mum when they are down, but my DD has known not to open presents before Christmas since she was 5 and she has ADHD. I only say this because I am shocked at all the people that think this is ok.
OP just explain to you DC that they have ruined the surprised now, that you don't have as much money as daddy, that was basically all they had for Christmas and you can't afford to buy anything else. Give them the option of having those 2 presents re-wrapped for Christmas or 2 less presents to open on Christmas day.

Hahahahohoho · 22/12/2022 18:14

I think you need to chill out a little - kids are excited and curious and they have spoiled their surprise - but now you feel like getting rid of their presents and ruining their Christmas - I know you won't do that but have a think about what this is all about? You are making a 7 year old feel awful and punished for having the excitement that you wanted - this is just madness - Christmas is literally making your family miserable at the moment.

pinkpantherpink · 22/12/2022 18:15

HBZ287 · 21/12/2022 14:21

Does it really matter? They were just overexcited. They’ve already ruined their own surprise. Just re wrap and carry on as normal.

This. My brother couldn't help himself. Always went rooting fir them. So not surprised on the day.

We traditionally put crackers on the tree. Would take them ans place on table on the Day. Yes. He rooted through those too for the best prizes. We could tell as the hold bit was looser than it should have been

My brother is still a twat

ferneytorro · 22/12/2022 18:23

I always used to open and re wrap mine. Other than that I was a really well behaved child. I was left on my own in the house too much though that’s my excuse!

Mumkins42 · 22/12/2022 18:26

The consequence is no surprise on Christmas day. If you feel very strongly about it you could just not re wrap and that would be more than enough of a consequence. I wouldn't do any more than that, it's a battle not worth getting into. I always used to try find my pressies and sometimes slightly opened the paper.

LBFseBrom · 22/12/2022 18:27

How many children are you talking about, op? In some ways it seems there is one child, aged 7, but with all the 'theys' and 'theirs', you could have several.

I'm glad you will be giving your child or children the presents. It's quite normal to peek. At seven I used to ask my parents for what I wanted for Christmas and birthday and as long as my request was reasonable, that is what I received. It wasn't a surprise (surprises are often overrated anyway), but I was pleased and other people gave me things, plus I had a stocking.

Keeper11 · 22/12/2022 18:27

Listen to yourself - you are planning to take away the presents they have spotted. This will destroy Christmas Day! They have seen the gift, so to not receive it now will be devastating.
They will have learnt all about spoiling the surprise, and surely that’s enough punishment? My own son actually broke his arm, falling from the chair whilst trying to spot his presents on top the wardrobe. It’s what kids do! They are not being naughty, they are not lying, they are just responding to the excitement us adults have built up. For goodness sake be a tad forgiving.

FTY765 · 22/12/2022 18:31

I'd let it go. But they have less 2 presents to unwrap on Sunday now.

squidgybits · 22/12/2022 18:32

Your fault OP, they were not exactly hidden

Meredithmama · 22/12/2022 18:33

Oh goodness my husband did this all the time and the one Christmas he was so excited as he found a remote control car in the wardrobe. Then on Christmas morning he didn’t receive one, it seems as his parents were preparing the batteries etc and found that the car didn’t really run well on carpet so they returned it. It seems my DH was devastated by this but couldn’t say anything otherwise he would end up telling on himself.

He told me this story on our first Christmas together so the following year I brought him a RC car, 25 years later I am regretting that decision as my home is full of parts, cars etc but seriously he loves his hobby.

As for your child they were just excited, I’m 46 and still would peak if I could. Yes the surprise had gone but that’s the natural consequence of peaking.

MarshaBradyo · 22/12/2022 18:35

People get too overworked by this stuff and not the 7 year old

Neolara · 22/12/2022 18:35

Surely pretty much every kid has done this at some point or other. Op - I think you're completely overreacting. Give them the presents. It's really not a big deal.

EternalCountrygirl · 22/12/2022 18:36

I remember doing something similar as a child. Just carry on as normal, your child will feel the consequences of not having their main present on Christmas morning,a ‘natural consequence’ is much better than you trying to teach lessons, especially on such a special day. You will want your DC to have happy memories Christmas Days

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