I'm having the hangover that I think has put me off alcohol forever.

[gothmothtime]

I finally think this will be my last ever hangover.

Work Christmas night out last night. I didn't do anything terrible, I didn't fall over/vomit in public/try to snog the boss, and I probably wasn't even the drunkest person.

But oh my god I can't do this anymore at my age. My body and brain can't cope with it.

Today I've barely moved, just lying under a blanket with my head in my hands. I've googled how to stop suicidal thoughts, I've googled mental institutions, what happens if you go to a&e saying you want to die.

For the last couple years being hungover is pretty much a day long panic attack, feeling tempted to go jump off a bridge or crash my car into a tree to stop the feelings of self hatred.

Im done. Im too old to keep doing this and my body clearly can't handle alcohol anymore. I don't even drink often, maybe once a month. But when I do drink I spend the following day wanting to die.

Has anyone else gotten like this as they get older? I've read that peri menopause often causes women to have way more issues with the way the body processes alcohol, and clearly that's where I am now.

I've taken 2 diazepam today to try to quieten my brain. This is just awful.

I'm done. No more alcohol ever.

Yes me.
I had that hangover on December 30th 2019 and have never drunk alcohol since.
I am 47 now and I don’t intend to drink again. Life for me is so much better without.

Blimey, I wouldn't be taking Diazepam on top of alcohol 😁

I felt similar last week after my works Xmas do OP.

I used to be able to handle alcohol but I've now got to the age (50) where its simply not worth over indulging.

The beer fear seems to magnify the older you get.

You'll feel better tomorrow. Hang in there!

I used to get horrific hangovers and I could never just have one drink. I had an unhealthy binge approach. Christmas parties I would have so much to drink and feel like you do the next day.

I haven't drank in a year now and it's lovely actually. I feel really liberated.

Good luck with today - it's grim

Thank you. I really think I'm done with alcohol forever.

If being hungover makes me want to kill myself then it's not worth it. I feel completely insane today.

I can't wait to get today over with and feel better tomorrow.

I know, not a good idea.

But I'd been googling least painful ways to commit suicide. I was scaring myself.

I couldn't think of what else to do to calm myself down.

I remember my last hangover two years ago. It wasn’t as bad as yours sounds (sympathy!) but it was the same feeling of no more, no more. I can’t put myself through this anymore.

It’s true in peri meno we can’t metabolise alcohol any longer. There’s no avoiding that.

I adore not drinking now. Get into alcohol free beer, it’s great. You can do it 💪🏼

Definitely worse as get older. That's why I've given it up. I'm happier without it. I grew up with drinking all around me. Took time to realise it doesn't have to be that way. I'm unable to tolerate any amount (immediate head ache, flushing). I enjoy life more without it, don't mind other people doing it. Each to their own.

Yep. I had that hangover six (??) years ago. Never looked back. Never been happier.

Alcohol is a bullshit lie btw.

Yup, can't process it now, hangovers one of the many youthful things that I'm happy to put away now I'm in my forties.

Alcohol free has been great, but it took a good six months to work out how to spend an evening without a glass of wine to wind down with.

I had that moment in august 2017. I got hideously pissed at a work event on the hottest day of the year & I was so poorly my DH nearly called an ambulance. I was vomiting for 7 hours straight including blood, and I couldn't physically move more than shuffling to the toilet for 2 days after the initial hangover day. I suffered for 4 days physically and weeks mentally.
I hadn't eaten, hadn't hydrated before drinking and my bosses were buying rounds and rounds of cocktails and shots. I've never drank in the same way since & wouldn't want to. A glass of wine at home or a G&T when out is plenty to feel mellow & relaxed while having full control of my faculties.

April 2019 I had that hangover- not a drop since. BEST THING EVER DID! My mental health is better than ever. I have come off antidepressants and antianxiety pills. Feel calm, clear and in control 100% of the time. Couldn't recommend a sober life more- you won't regret it!

Stopped drinking in August this year. Best thing I've ever done, the anxiety and depression lifted. I don't want to ever drink again.
Just remember this feeling will pass, sending hugs xx

@gothmothtime this is me too. Though not the suicidal thoughts, but extreme anxiety.
I'm 43 & my alcohol tolerance is definitely lower than it was.
Currently fighting with my anxiety after a night out last night too. Feelings of guilt & shame.
I don't remember half of the evening.
Hoping it will pass soon.

Hugs. It’s a hideous feeling x

I had this about 5 years ago and haven't drink since .. never had anxiety but I do see it as poison now ..

I think in years to come it will be seen as bad as smoking !

It's ok not to drink , quite liberating and I still socialise with drunk people !

hi OP, I don't drink too often but have a habit of overindulging when I do and the other week downed a bottle of port on my own and spent the next day doing the same thing as you. This is no way an isolated incident in my life and I am so bored of it! I am on the water since. Not sure if it will last but feeling better so far. I do struggle with getting bored occasionally and getting a couple of beers which inevitably leads to more later in the week etc and I fall back into the habit of more regular drinking. Although I am quite good at not overdoing it I have a cycle of occasionally going OTT and feeling rough as old boots. But I'm trying to keep the horrible feeling of being sick all day more clear in my mind to keep me off it. Best of luck to you!

I've had loads of awful hangovers where i don't want to wake up (until it's gone) but never wanted to kill myself!

I had this one last hangover, too, in 2016 I think. It didn't affect my mental health but I felt so horrible physically that I swore to myself to never let it get so far again. It worked. I do still drink alcohol, but usually stop after one glass.
When I'm at a party, I might drink a little more, but with lots of water in between.
I just couldn't cope with feeling like that day again.

I haven’t been drunk for 21 years. I’ll have a couple of glasses of wine and that is its.

i can easily go out to a party and drive.

ive been to weddings and driven. Its a great reason to leave when bored.

Yep, I'm done. I'm positive about that. I can't imagine ever wanting to drink again.

Yes, I was similar 3 years ago and haven’t had any alcohol since. If you are serious, try reading The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray and This Naked Mind.

Claire Pooleys blog was an amazing inspiration. Mummy is a secret drinker I think it’s called??
She blogs from her first days of going sober right through to becoming a published author of her journey to sobriety and has wonderful insights. Best of luck OP.

I’ve had some shockers too and am definitely reaching the end of the road with it. Never physical but the anxiety, guilt and shame are consuming.
Have you eaten? You’re going to need carbs, and try and sleep it off.