I'm having the hangover that I think has put me off alcohol forever.

[gothmothtime]

I finally think this will be my last ever hangover.

Work Christmas night out last night. I didn't do anything terrible, I didn't fall over/vomit in public/try to snog the boss, and I probably wasn't even the drunkest person.

But oh my god I can't do this anymore at my age. My body and brain can't cope with it.

Today I've barely moved, just lying under a blanket with my head in my hands. I've googled how to stop suicidal thoughts, I've googled mental institutions, what happens if you go to a&e saying you want to die.

For the last couple years being hungover is pretty much a day long panic attack, feeling tempted to go jump off a bridge or crash my car into a tree to stop the feelings of self hatred.

Im done. Im too old to keep doing this and my body clearly can't handle alcohol anymore. I don't even drink often, maybe once a month. But when I do drink I spend the following day wanting to die.

Has anyone else gotten like this as they get older? I've read that peri menopause often causes women to have way more issues with the way the body processes alcohol, and clearly that's where I am now.

I've taken 2 diazepam today to try to quieten my brain. This is just awful.

I'm done. No more alcohol ever.

@MichaelFabricantWig thank you. I read this naked mind and it was really good but I just still had people (dsil) saying I can see why you don't drink as you can't handle it but it's my worst nightmare and I thought gosh that's a bit sad and dramatic but then I found myself wanting to be the one who could handle it. Most people supportive though and I think she was being in her own way. It amazes me how some ppl think so highly of drinking and being drunk and hangovers are a medal of honour.

I had my last hangover 12 weeks ago. It wasn't the worst hangover (yours sounds seriously awful) but for some reason I decided it was my last. It wasn't even a good night - simply a booze heavy night. The next day I didn't get to something I wanted to do and I thought why am I making my own life shit?

I love it so far. I've been on holiday, to the pub, out to dinner with friends. It's been great. I can drive everywhere. I never wake up with that feeling of confused doom.

For me I needed to stop completely, I knew moderation wouldn't last. But whatever works for you.

I've been toying with giving up alcohol and I didn't drink from mid October to the beginning of December. Then I had a couple of meals out and had a few drinks but nothing wild.

The hangovers are just not worth it for me anymore. The indigestion I get, the anxiety and the health anxiety due to the indigestion.

I feel your pain op.

The day after is never worth it lately and I'm just not going to put myself through it anymore.

Alcohol is out. January is going to be vegan and then after that I will reevaluate and see how I feel.

Hell yes! It's a real thing. Hideous.

Another reason I cut down drastically was the 4am racing heart, I'd wake up with my heart pounding and would be awake for a good 2 hours.

@Sickofcoughing your user name is me at the moment . Any tips how to keep it going? I managed it for 7 months but then drank again.

Oh well I'm only 12 weeks so your streak is longer than mine so far anyway.

I don't expect to drink again though as I'm enjoying this so much. Did you like your 7 months off? I see it as embracing sobriety rather than giving up alcohol.

March this year. I had 'that' hangover. It was ridiculous, and the worst thing was my kids seeing me in bed voming and being utterly useless. It took me a week to recover.

I didn't drink for 3 months after, got my arse into gear lost weight and got back into exercising. I do have a couple of drinks now and again, max 2, but I've not been drunk since / no hangovers. Never again.

Best thing I ever did was stop drinking. I wasn't a huge drinker but got fed up of feeling like that when I did.

Download the Dryy app, it's a free fantastic positive community of alcohol free people.

Also read some of the giving up alcohol books, my fave are Quit Like a Woman and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober.

You don't ever have to feel like that again 😊

Yes, me.

Started at 27, although I hadn't been drinking much in the 2 years prior as pregnant/breastfeeding. It's getting worse as each year goes by. I'm 30 now, feel dreadfully sick when I drink more than a glass of wine, but also the depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts the day after are absolutely awful and it's not remotely worthwhile.

Friends absolutely do not get it, and I've had a few people be a bit snippy about it and accuse me of being boring now, but, whilst I still enjoy a small glass of wine every so often, I have absolutely no desire to get properly drunk again.

I had a GP appointment in January 2020 to discuss HRT. She told me of the benefits and risks as usual and something just clicked for me.. I am now 51 and have an 11 year old son and I thought… that’s it… the booze stops, and the healthy lifestyle starts! It’s so important to look after your health in menopause. I have one g&t every now and again but the thought of wine now makes me feel sick. Plus, I was fed up of spending my child free time on a Saturday, feeling vaguely like I’d had a drink the night before never mind a proper hangover! Now, I prefer to go to the gym and the clarity I get every day from not drinking! Life is a much better place without alcohol in it, for me. X x

Plus.. as others have said… the affects on your mental health.. on top of navigating the the menopause.. just isn’t worth it. Why voluntarily make the symptoms of menopause worse, whilst taking HRT to try to improve them.. it didn’t make sense!

h gosh , me too. Never really got on well with alcohol, even when younger. But kept drinking , wanting to fit in and everybody else seemed OK . But now, just dont bother at all. Wish I could have been the kind of person who could enjoy a glass of wine , but even the smell makes me feel ill , remembering THAT hangover . Bed to toilet all day .
Go to recovery was pasta with butter and salt.
Best thing OP is that you will feel glad to be alive again tomorrow . Love that feeling.

Does a suicidal hangover make a difference depending on what alcohol you drink?

As we all know some drink can make you happy and some can make you sad or angry.

I wondered if there is any link?

Gin does make me very depressed the next day. It makes me think of anything I've ever regretted and leaves me so teary all the next day.

I am thinking so., I had the same cocktail that I usually have and seeing this was the first time I've experienced this, I am now convinced it was Jager bombs which we had a few of. So that is Jagermeister with Red Bull. Neither of which I would usually have. I also never ever have energy drinks, so this has made me think.

@gothmothtime how are you today?
Still riddled with anxiety here. 🤦‍♀️Hope you're better.

I'm not too bad thanks @ERN79

I just had a shower and a coffee and I don't feel great, but at least I don't feel as bad as yesterday. Luckily only working from home today so I can hide and recover.

How about you? Better than yesterday?

I still feel extremely anxious. Guilty. Ashamed. You know the drill 🤦‍♀️
Physically not too bad, don't really suffer with physical hangover symptoms just the anxiety.
Just at home with the kids today, rubbish weather where we are so probably a day at home. Thankfully.

I'm meant to see the people from Saturday on Thursday & currently trying to think of excuses to get out of it because I can't face them. 😔

The last time I said “never again” was about 10 years ago - previous to that, I’d had a few year’s alcohol free for the same reason. Anyway, I haven’t touched alcohol since - apart from the Christmas cake or beef stew variety 😂. The thought of drinking alcohol now seems surreal to me.

Same here. Beginning of September here and never want to drink again. Juat can't tolerate hangovers anymore

I'm actually amazed that some people don't realise alcohol causes anxiety, it's so well known and well documented. Even when we were very young, in our early 20s friends would talk about 'The Fear' after a drinking session.

Same, same - I stopped drinking a couple of months ago and feel so much better physically, mentally and my skin has improved.

I don't miss it - I have some zero alcohol replacements which are fine. The selection and quality is growing all the time.

I'm 38, been drinking regularly for over 20 years and I'm definitely done now - it just makes me feel grim..

Drinking is so overrated.

Glad you feel a little bit better today, unfortunately I think it's a process now to get through the next few days.

I didn't sleep well (again) but got up early and convinced myself that I'm going to keep myself busy all day. Which I have done so far.

I hadn't put the Christmas tree up yet, and I should have over the weekend, but didn't get to it. I could not face the task yesterday either and in my meltdown, my tree became the target. That I didn't want it up, I was not putting it up this year, it just felt like too much effort, what was the point as it's late going up etc etc. But this morning, me and myself had some words, and I've just finished putting it up. It's taken me nearly 5 hours though, but I feel better that I have. It was so weird, like a bloody tree was going to get the better of me.

What did you drink OP as what @strictlygoingtomissstrictly said did make me think. Did you have something you wouldn't normally.?

I have the hang-xiety all the time I drink more than 3 drinks. Each hangover is worse and I hate them. I swear I won’t drink again and then the next weekend or sometimes day after! I have more wine. My DH is very fond of alcohol and tolerates it way better than I do. I feel boring not joining in but need to grow a pair and just say no.

I am in my 40s and quit alcohol this year. The difference in my mental and physical health is huge. I believe alcohol is a big fucking lie and society will wake up one day and realise it. It's pushed as a way of life to make rich people rich. But in its objective way it's poison, nothing more and nothing less. It affects every cell in your body.