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Original poster

I'm having the hangover that I think has put me off alcohol forever.

118 replies

gothmothtime · 18/12/2022 13:08

I finally think this will be my last ever hangover.

Work Christmas night out last night. I didn't do anything terrible, I didn't fall over/vomit in public/try to snog the boss, and I probably wasn't even the drunkest person.

But oh my god I can't do this anymore at my age. My body and brain can't cope with it.

Today I've barely moved, just lying under a blanket with my head in my hands. I've googled how to stop suicidal thoughts, I've googled mental institutions, what happens if you go to a&e saying you want to die.

For the last couple years being hungover is pretty much a day long panic attack, feeling tempted to go jump off a bridge or crash my car into a tree to stop the feelings of self hatred.

Im done. Im too old to keep doing this and my body clearly can't handle alcohol anymore. I don't even drink often, maybe once a month. But when I do drink I spend the following day wanting to die.

Has anyone else gotten like this as they get older? I've read that peri menopause often causes women to have way more issues with the way the body processes alcohol, and clearly that's where I am now.

I've taken 2 diazepam today to try to quieten my brain. This is just awful.

I'm done. No more alcohol ever.

OP posts:
VivaVivaa · 18/12/2022 20:10

Yip. I hit ~28ish and my hangovers went from an excuse to sit on the sofa eating carbs all day…to 24-48 hours of panic, misery and spiralling mental health. Stopped drinking at age 30 and haven’t looked back.

isthismylifenow · 18/12/2022 20:14

Jewel1968 · 18/12/2022 19:03

Gosh I have never heard of a hangover causing anxiety. Thanks for sharing. Makes total sense to quit.

I didn't know either. Until today, and it comes in bad. I will have to Google this so I can try to understand why its happening.

To the pp mentioning hangxiety.... It seems it's happening so often it even had a name. This can't be a good thing. Oh yes, the palpitations... I thought these were from the panic attack, but this explains these too.

Original poster
gothmothtime · 18/12/2022 20:16

Thanks so much for the solidarity all.

Interesting to hear from others in peri/full meno too.

It's not worth it is it. I'm so happy to be in bed and to have the day over with. It's terrifying what it can do to you mentally isn't it. 11 hours ago I actually wanted to die I felt so depressed.

It's not even just anxiety is it, it felt like some kind of psychosis.

I've just gone into the Tesco order for this week and removed all the Xmas booze, apart from a few beers for DH, and have swapped my wine for some cans of lucky saint. Im feeling hopeful that I'll never feel like that again.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Menopause Women's health
Always4Brenner · 18/12/2022 20:16

OP I hope your feeling a bit better now hangovers are hell aren’t they?

Original poster
gothmothtime · 18/12/2022 20:18

@isthismylifenow sounds like you're in the same hole as me today. Well done for even attempting to go out today, I couldn't face it.

Hope we both start feeling better tomorrow. I'm planning to down lots of smoothies and force myself out into the fresh air for plenty of walks this week.

OP posts:
Bestcatmum · 18/12/2022 20:19

Yes I know that hangover. This is why I've been teetotal for the last 5 years. My body absolutlu rejects alcohol. I'm 60.

Changemaname1 · 18/12/2022 20:24

More solidarity OP it’s deffo a real thing . I could handle the headache / feeling sick side but my mental health is absolutely shot to shit the day after a heavy night which is why I so rarely do it now . Even a few beers and I can tell the next day my mood is slightly lower so don’t drink much at all these days

Emdubz · 18/12/2022 20:28

gothmothtime · 18/12/2022 20:16

Thanks so much for the solidarity all.

Interesting to hear from others in peri/full meno too.

It's not worth it is it. I'm so happy to be in bed and to have the day over with. It's terrifying what it can do to you mentally isn't it. 11 hours ago I actually wanted to die I felt so depressed.

It's not even just anxiety is it, it felt like some kind of psychosis.

I've just gone into the Tesco order for this week and removed all the Xmas booze, apart from a few beers for DH, and have swapped my wine for some cans of lucky saint. Im feeling hopeful that I'll never feel like that again.

Lucky Saint is the one!
I stopped drinking alcohol for 5 years after a night out where I felt ill all day the next day and full of anxiety and shame.
Then I started to drink alcohol again about 18 months ago, a lot more restrained but it has never really sat right with me so I think I’m going to stop again. It really does me no favours and is not my friend!
I hope you are feeling better and know that you’re not alone xx

Londonlassy · 18/12/2022 20:28

I absolutely love a gin and tonic or a fancy cocktail but the come down the next days is no longer worth it. I will only ever have two drinks now on the weekend. Completely accept I have no tolerance for alcohol and I’m ok with that ( the joys of midlife and not giving a shit absolutely declining work drinks and crappy parties)

isthismylifenow · 18/12/2022 20:28

gothmothtime · 18/12/2022 20:18

@isthismylifenow sounds like you're in the same hole as me today. Well done for even attempting to go out today, I couldn't face it.

Hope we both start feeling better tomorrow. I'm planning to down lots of smoothies and force myself out into the fresh air for plenty of walks this week.

I tried to get out of going, but I had to cancel going to the last get together, so I had to go. Then I thought getting up and going out would do me good. Ha no that didn't work, and now I'm more anxious as I've made others anxious. Sigh. When I did get home I tried to keep as busy as possible, but I could not leave the house again, so my dog didn't get a walk.

I too hope you feel better tomorrow. I've actually taken some valerian now as I need to sleep tonight.

I'm going to take your smoothie tip as I've been going with greasy grub as per other hangover tips.

But this is the last time I do this to myself. And I hope my doggo forgives me...

Squashpocket · 18/12/2022 20:30

Yes, I have also had 'the last hangover'. I was 29 alcohol + something stronger may have been involved. I haven't gone teetotal but I've never had more than 3 drinks in one evening ever again. It's been nearly 10 years now and I can still remember it vividly.

Best of luck OP.

Crikeyalmighty · 18/12/2022 20:31

At 61, 2 medium glasses of wine a couple of times a week and it's my limit, statins and beta blockers don't work well with alcohol for me!!

Northernsoullover · 18/12/2022 20:36

I had that hangover almost 4 years ago. I never want to feel that way again and have steered clear of that shite ever since.

grumpycow1 · 18/12/2022 20:39

Oh my god, I had this in May. First proper night out since pre COVID - I actually really enjoyed it at the time but when I woke up I was suicidal, full of shame, just so down. I am fine with the odd glass of wine or 2 but it seems my days of binge drinking are over. I am 37 with some MH issues undiagnosed but as I get older I am keen to explore. Looks like my days of getting drunk are over too! Just as well as I can’t afford it anyway 😂

isthismylifenow · 18/12/2022 20:42

I found this article quite interesting OP. It's quite lengthy though.

I'm an introvert and quite shy hence using a drink for Dutch courage if I go out.

Now I'll have to work on using my sparkling personality instead 😊

Jewel1968 · 18/12/2022 20:42

I suspect a lot of people use alcohol to self Medicate for other stuff e.g. Depression, pain etc. I have definitely used alcohol for this. I have used it to deal with pain (sciatica) and I don't recommend it. I have also used it to deal with anxiety (ironically now I know what it can do) and low mood.

It makes no sense logically as in the round it makes things worse. Logic doesn't always win though.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 18/12/2022 20:43

Yes I was like this after last Boxing Day. Didn't drink again until July and a few times after. Drunk at the Xmas party and the hangxiety was awful. I just had to keep busy. I take a small dose of sertraline and I have to remind myself it's pointless if I drink.

CarPoor · 18/12/2022 20:45

Hanxiety is when you worry you've embarrassed yourself/feel like an idiot after drinking even if you haven't. It's not really suicidal thoughts

If your hangovers are as bad as you say then yes you need to stop drinking. You can't be doing something that make you feel suicidal/gives you day long panic attacks. That's not normal at all.

I do drink but I haven't given myself a hangover in a good few years, and hope to never again. I just stopped wanting to spend a day feeling like shite and being drunk wasn't worth it. I enjoy the feeling of one maybe 2 glasses of wine but I don't actually enjoy being drunk.

yentirb · 18/12/2022 20:49

Me!!!!

MichaelFabricantWig · 18/12/2022 20:49

You won’t regret going sober, I’m nearly 16 months sober now and it’s a great decision

yentirb · 18/12/2022 20:49

It's become unbearable lately. My mental health can't handle it

sitandbequiet · 18/12/2022 20:51

Can you get Diazepam without prescription? IF you have a prescription you shouldn't be drinking with it.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 18/12/2022 20:52

Can I ask please? I was doing really well with not drinking until I went to a festival where there was no AF beer and I had one or two beers. Now I only had four over the weekend but I felt annoyed with myself. How can I prevent this. Also when everyone else is drinking how do you not feel like you're being boring or not joining in?

MichaelFabricantWig · 18/12/2022 20:57

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 18/12/2022 20:52

Can I ask please? I was doing really well with not drinking until I went to a festival where there was no AF beer and I had one or two beers. Now I only had four over the weekend but I felt annoyed with myself. How can I prevent this. Also when everyone else is drinking how do you not feel like you're being boring or not joining in?

You need to change your mindset around alcohol. Some of the books referred to upthread can really help. Once you lose the desire to drink it becomes a lot easier

LactoseTheIntolerant · 18/12/2022 21:03

Just echoing what many pp have said. I too stopped drinking completely 4 years ago it was really affecting my mental health. I've never felt better since, my dh has also subsequently stopped and feels the same as me, I don't think either of us will drink again, we just don't want to risk slipping back into old habits.
We're mid forties, we've done the party scene when we were young we don't feel like we're missing out on anything other then feeling like a pile of shite the day after!