I'm having the hangover that I think has put me off alcohol forever.

[gothmothtime]

I finally think this will be my last ever hangover.

Work Christmas night out last night. I didn't do anything terrible, I didn't fall over/vomit in public/try to snog the boss, and I probably wasn't even the drunkest person.

But oh my god I can't do this anymore at my age. My body and brain can't cope with it.

Today I've barely moved, just lying under a blanket with my head in my hands. I've googled how to stop suicidal thoughts, I've googled mental institutions, what happens if you go to a&e saying you want to die.

For the last couple years being hungover is pretty much a day long panic attack, feeling tempted to go jump off a bridge or crash my car into a tree to stop the feelings of self hatred.

Im done. Im too old to keep doing this and my body clearly can't handle alcohol anymore. I don't even drink often, maybe once a month. But when I do drink I spend the following day wanting to die.

Has anyone else gotten like this as they get older? I've read that peri menopause often causes women to have way more issues with the way the body processes alcohol, and clearly that's where I am now.

I've taken 2 diazepam today to try to quieten my brain. This is just awful.

I'm done. No more alcohol ever.

@Liuckle I agree with that. Unfortunately I get lots of comments especially from dsil like I couldn't imagine not drinking it's my worst nightmare and then I feel like it's my issue. How do you deal with that.

@Sickofcoughing I did enjoy my 7 months off a lot. I'm annoyed I started again

Same, haven't been drunk for 6 years due to the mental and physical debilitation of hangovers. I now stop at two drinks unless eating a meal, in which case I can manage a third, but never more.

It can't all be peri/post menopausal. I have one group of friends where I am the second youngest, and twisted mid 50s and mid 60s. They can happily throw cocktails down their necks and function fine the next day, making me look quite the party pooper.

I resent the idea that you are boring if you don't drink. To me it's boring having a hangover - much more exciting waking up clear headed and embracing the day. Now that I'm sober I observe things on nights out - it really doesn't make you more interesting. People tend to talk shit and forget boundaries. I love dancing, laughing, chatting and can do this sober. Nothing good rarely happens after midnight at a party - just loss of memory and more illness the next day

Well now 3 days post drinking & still stupidly anxious.
It's just not worth it is it.
Well done all you sober people.
How did you navigate the early stages? And the why you're not drinking questions?

Oh I'm joining you. I had the worst hangover of my life on Sunday and I think I may finally be DONE. I wasn't even that drunk, I was in bed by 12.30 and the next day was a new level of hell, not suicidal but definitely not in a good mental state, the whole day was a write off and I have two young children so to waste a day that could have been spent doing something nice and christmassy with them was a real wake up call. It's just not worth it, and it wasn't like I went crazy with the booze, I had no idea I would feel so awful the next day. And actually Monday I still had a pounding head. I'm 36 now so if it's only going to get worse as I get older I'd rather not risk it!

I know over the next few days of Christmas there is going to be so much expectation to have a drink, but I just can't face it!

Feel like this was me. Don't remember getting home, but it wasn't at a stupid hour. Nor do I recall feeling hammered on the evening. 🤦‍♀️
Have 2 kids as well & feel like I've let them down too. We've done nothing since the last because I can't face anything.
Going to try get out this afternoon.
Completely feel you about the Christmas drinking pressure. 🤦‍♀️

There is a book called 'the unexpected joy of being sober' - it's a great read for anyone considering it, also the drinkaware app is v good

DD ended up in intensive care fighting for her life after drinking too much (her friends were all ok and had same drinks which she made!). I still enjoy a drink,but will never get to the stage where I'm so drunk I don't know what I'm doing, it's a sobering lesson.

Gosh this is terrifying. Did she have alcohol poisoning?

@gothmothtime and @ERN79 i hope you are both doing a little better today. Even yesterday I was having waves of unexplained anxiety and I'm still having palpitations, but better than Sunday. So it's now the 5th day for me and I'm still not 'right'. Still can't eat properly but just trying to get a lot of liquids in. I don't have normal hangover symptoms, just these lingering dread feelings.

It had definitely been a massive wake up call for me.

I am hosting Christmas day, and I have decided to make a non alcoholic punch, so very 80s I know 😀. But my thinking is that some family drink and some don't, so those who want to add a tot of spirits into their own glass are welcome to. But I am not going to go out of my way to make alcohol appealing. This experience has completely changed my mindset, and if those around me don't get it, so be it.

@isthismylifenow I'm like you. Still not 'right' but trying to just get on with it.
Supposed to see the people I was with on Saturday tomorrow & still thinking of how to get out of it. Would just rather hibernate.
The aftermath is just not worth it is it.

Good grief. I doubt this has anything to do with alcohol. Or menopause. Clearly your MH is not good. Please see you GP. I've never had a panic attack. Never had suicidal thoughts either. And certainly never the extreme you describe. And not bought on by alcohol. I think this is not helpful to the menopause drive, whilst it's known that menopausal women go off alcohol, or can't process it as well, still nothing like you describe, and I believe it's damaging to the good work that many are trying to do to link such extreme thoughts with menopause at all.

Just because it hasn't happened to you doesn't mean it's not happening. Not everyone on this thread who have commented on similar experiences, are peri or meno age.

@isthismylifenow
That wasn't what I said. At all. Please don't turn this around and imply that simply because it isn't happening to me I don't have the common sense to realise that it does happen to other people. Because that is not the case. I do.

But what op is talking about is not the norm menopause wise.

The levels of OP's severe chronic anxiety though are of concern. Looking up ways to commit suicide.

Anxiety and brain did etc are common in menopause. That's why all the menopause campaigns try to make people aware of symptoms so they can talk to their GP. Consider HRT for example.

And yes. Not being able to cope with alcohol in menopause is also common as well.

The extreme of opening post has written about. Chronic severe anxiety, panic attack, trying to find options of how to commit suicide. Is not the same norm as menopausal anxiety. This is severe chronic MH issues, that she should be consulting her Gp about. To link it to menopause is damaging to the menopause campaign.

I’m in my 50s. I don’t get panicky but I can’t sleep if I have more than one glass. It’s not panic it’s just wide awakeness. It’s definitely led to a lot less alcohol.

“not helpful to the menopause drive” - what does that even mean? How ridiculous - everyone experiences alcohol and menopause differently and everyone should be able to speak candidly about that experience.

Anyway, I’ve been alcohol free for 4 years now, after being a very big fan of wine for a long time. I knew I was drinking too much, although I drank in a way that our society entirely approves of and encourages, and I knew that moderation wouldn’t work, because really my life had become one long internal monologue/negotiation about moderation, and it was (a) not actually helping me to consistently moderate and (b) unbelievably boring. I agree with the PP who said that alcohol is a lie - it’s a poison made to taste nice by massive companies that want your money. Giving it up has improved my life immeasurably, including improving my anxiety (though it did not on its own cure that - the perimenopause brought a new level of crippling anxiety that is only manageable with HRT for me). For the PP who asked how to deal with people who say giving up alcohol is their worst nightmare, and make them feel as if they have a real problem for doing so - these reactions are always, always about the person reacting rather than about you. Your decision to not drink makes them uncomfortable about their own attitude to or secret fears about alcohol. It’s a defence mechanism and knowing that just reinforces my decision not to drink.

Many MN'ers with chronic anxiety seem to struggle to recognise it as so. I still advise GP contact.

Exactly!