I'm having the hangover that I think has put me off alcohol forever.

[gothmothtime]

I finally think this will be my last ever hangover.

Work Christmas night out last night. I didn't do anything terrible, I didn't fall over/vomit in public/try to snog the boss, and I probably wasn't even the drunkest person.

But oh my god I can't do this anymore at my age. My body and brain can't cope with it.

Today I've barely moved, just lying under a blanket with my head in my hands. I've googled how to stop suicidal thoughts, I've googled mental institutions, what happens if you go to a&e saying you want to die.

For the last couple years being hungover is pretty much a day long panic attack, feeling tempted to go jump off a bridge or crash my car into a tree to stop the feelings of self hatred.

Im done. Im too old to keep doing this and my body clearly can't handle alcohol anymore. I don't even drink often, maybe once a month. But when I do drink I spend the following day wanting to die.

Has anyone else gotten like this as they get older? I've read that peri menopause often causes women to have way more issues with the way the body processes alcohol, and clearly that's where I am now.

I've taken 2 diazepam today to try to quieten my brain. This is just awful.

I'm done. No more alcohol ever.

I've cut down my drinking so I rarely get pissed, a couple of glasses of red wine to relax me and I'm done. Hate feeling drunk.

It's fine, taking diazepam was the right thing to do. The majority of the alcohol would have been out of your system by then and it sounds like you definitely needed a nudge to get back onto an even keel.

Hope you feel better soon, can you watch or listen to something low key and benign to take your mind off things?

A new friendship group of heavy drinkers call this hang-xiety and it's definitely a thing. I had this the time before last I went out out. Even though I could rationalise the way I felt it didn't make the day any better. Last time we went out I left early rather than getting hammered like my friends and it felt really nice the next day to feel normal and human. I don't think I'll drink heavily again!

I found the same when I hit peri-menopause.

Dh and I have both just given up, I’m having a drink with my parents on with Christmas dinner but then I’m done.

im going to need a new username 😄

Yep..

October 2021. never again

i feel so much better for not drinking. I aren’t teetotal, I just don’t drink IYSWIM.

I think I might survive the day thanks to DH and a chicken tikka massala.

Fucking hell, such a rough day.

I had that hangover in 2015 and I haven’t got anywhere close since. I went out last night and had three drinks, barely slept and have been tetchy and tired (and hungry) all day. I will still have a glass of wine of an evening from time to time, but I don’t want to get pissed. I’m 45 and very peri - it’s just not worth the misery.

Good choice, OP.

I used to get the most horrific hangovers with the accompanying mental and physical effects. I had one where I was practically hallucinating.

Both my parents are/were (DM dead) alcoholics and I definitely had a dependency in my mid-late 20s.

Slowly decided to cut down, then my last hangover was after my wedding 10 years ago 😳 Since then, I've pretty much given up drinking.. in the intervening years, I've gone up to two years between drinks, some years would just have one drink, on Christmas Day. This year I've actually drunk more than I have in 10 years as went for weekend away in summer for wedding anniversary and had a couple of glasses each night. Not sure why I decided to tbh... I may or may not have a drink again on Christmas Day, but I can definitely see more clearly now how alcohol is just a poison.. And I actually fear hangovers so will never drink so much again nor will I get in the position of looking forward to drinking like it's a hobby or be counting down the days until it was a 'drinking night'.

I feel you OP. My last proper hangover - which was after being sick through drink the night before - lasted 2 days, ie the whole weekend. I'm mid 40s and suspect I'm peri.

friday night just gone I had 2 glasses of wine and 2 single vodka & lemonades and my head was hurting before I even got home. I'm done with alcohol. BUT my friends want me to have a drink with them. I physically cannot tolerate alcohol at all like I used to. NY resolution is to give it up except on specific events eg bdays.

Join soberistas or Club Soda on Facebook . Great groups

I haven't drunk to the point of a hangover since 2009, I just hate them.

I'm not a binge drinker so 2-3 glasses of wine a couple of times a month is fine for me.

Same here, perimenopausal and can't cope with alcohol. Not a headache so much as the palpitations and insomnia that leaves me exhausted and anxious. I rarely drink much and I'm not doing it anymore.

Yep, people ask me why I don’t drink and the answer is easy, I hate hangovers, even mild ones. I can honestly say that I don’t need alcohol to have fun and no amount of alcohol is worth a hangover.

I occasionally have an alcoholic drink but can easily go without.

When you take a step back and think about it, alcohol is really shit. Our culture around it is appalling.

Hope you’re feeling better, OP.

I gave up drinking almost 3 years ago. I just couldn’t cope with the hangovers, and especially the anxiety the next day even after a couple of drinks.

Honestly, one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

I don’t miss it. I love waking up feeling fresh in the mornings. I love knowing that I never have to feel ‘hangxiety’ again. I’m mid forties, and I think once I got 40 my tolerance for alcohol just left the building. It felt like I was being poisoned, and it just wasn’t worth it anymore. It’s supposed to be fun!

Hangover from hell from very early on drinking so glad I’m off it now 12 years. Don’t miss it at all.

I had a great time partying in my late teens early twenties. Loved that time and no regrets even the stupid drunken mistake nights out!!
With dc now forget it. I drink about once or twice a year normally a glass of wine with a nice dinner.
Much much better for me. I'm already tired and haggard without adding drink to my woes. Hope you feel better now OP.

Gosh I have never heard of a hangover causing anxiety. Thanks for sharing. Makes total sense to quit.

My sister and I used to message each other-

You're a good person.
You're allowed to relax with some drinks.
You did nothing hideously wrong, your brain is lying to you.

Because the hangover shame is so awful.
She listens to podcasts in bed so she can't hear those awful thoughts.
I try to be really productive the next day and pretend it's not happening.

You'll be over it in two days ! Hang on in there x

Hope you’re feeling a bit better by now. I was in the same situation last Saturday. The suicidal thoughts are awful and the self hatred. You know it’s all just related to the alcohol still in your system. You’ll be fine. When the first proper hunger pangs kick in, you know you’re going to be ok. I dreaded seeing everyone for the first time after but it was all fine. I did nothing wrong either, but I always beat myself up when hungover.

Alcohol needs to be understood as a dangerous drug akin to any other class A. Worse in fact than many.

Instead it’s a joke, trivialised, encouraged, packaged to taste delicious in pretty bottles.

4 day a hangover almost did me in and I stopped. That was about 5 years ago. I never even have the urge for a drink any more.

OP I think it's fate that I saw this post today. I've posted in previous threads about hangovers and the fact that they take weeks to get over physically. I don't drink often but will every few months if I go out with some friends.

I went out Friday night and although I didn't drink massive amounts (I think it was a lot for me though) I mixed drinks. So cocktails and shooters for eg. Yesterday I didn't feel great and had a slow day just thinking I had a worse hangover than I expected. But today.... I have not had crippling anxiety like this in a very long time. I met family out for a meal today, I could not hold it together, had a panic attack, crying and just a general mess. Now of course everyone is super worried about me, and I just could not understand why I feel so awful today. So this explains it I think. I do have stuff going on but for me to react like this, just isn't usual. And I have to say, as I type this how, I just don't think it's worth it. It's nice to go out and let the hair down, but I absolutely cannot go though one more day like this.

I'm also in peri so I think this is a sign.

But I have concerned a fair few people today. Including myself.

I totally understand you OP. It's not worth it at all is it....

I physically don’t do well with drinking. A number of years ago I had an end of year work do on a very hot day (Australia) and though I was only medium drunk I was so, so sick. The room felt like It was spinning once I got home and I was projectile vomiting. I’ve had mild hangovers since but never been that drunk again. I enjoy the feeling of being tipsy and less uptight but can’t risk being that sick these days.

Yep. Reached this point about a year ago. Alcohol literally feels like poison in my body now - hangovers would last for about 3 days and the first day I could barely get out of bed . Am not teetotal but now rarely drink and when I do I always stop after the 2nd glass, if not the first. When it makes you so ill, giving up really wasn't that hard. I don't miss it that much. (Chocolate and sugar addiction on the other hand have me by the throat...)