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Original poster

What’s the worst thing you’ve found out about someone after they’ve died?

386 replies

Watisthis · 16/12/2022 20:03

Going through a big shocker at the minute. Has anyone ever had something massive come out after a loved one has passed away?

OP posts:
DarkSol · 17/12/2022 16:38

Herejustforthisone · 17/12/2022 16:33

Why? No one has to contribute to the thread.

Show quote history

Lol @FlamingJingleBells 😂

Why indeed? Why would you share a story on this thread if you were that worried about being taken advantage of? After all even if OP did share they could just make something up.

WiddlinDiddlin · 17/12/2022 16:41

@MissPiggysPinkDress

The Kate I met, was obviously a real person. They told me she'd moved in with them...

The 'Kate' we all messaged on FB, who posted on FB, was an admin of the group, who they talked about.. was a construct, they just used the real Kates name, some of her history.

Things like her not talking on the phone or having photos, well these were old ladies (I know not everyone of that age is OLD but Sharon and Sheila were early 70's by this point and had serious health issues and were or at least pretended to be pretty technophobic) so that never flagged up as an issue. I don't like talking on the phone, I don't generally take pics of myself either.

dutysuite · 17/12/2022 17:00

No, but nothing really shocks me

Layersoftaytoes · 17/12/2022 17:01

C1N1C · 17/12/2022 07:34

Where punctuation is important :)

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HAAHHA

Byfleet · 17/12/2022 17:06

OP has elicited pages of family secrets without discussing her own at all. Have you noticed that she has not contributed?

It’s likely OP is a journalist looking for stories. Please don’t share anything you wouldn’t want to see published.

MissPiggysPinkDress · 17/12/2022 17:13

WiddlinDiddlin · 17/12/2022 16:41

@MissPiggysPinkDress

The Kate I met, was obviously a real person. They told me she'd moved in with them...

The 'Kate' we all messaged on FB, who posted on FB, was an admin of the group, who they talked about.. was a construct, they just used the real Kates name, some of her history.

Things like her not talking on the phone or having photos, well these were old ladies (I know not everyone of that age is OLD but Sharon and Sheila were early 70's by this point and had serious health issues and were or at least pretended to be pretty technophobic) so that never flagged up as an issue. I don't like talking on the phone, I don't generally take pics of myself either.

Ah ok, I see. Thank for explaining

what an odd thing for them to do!

ThanksItHasPockets · 17/12/2022 17:15

It is pretty astonishing how little prompting many people need to pour out the most extraordinary and personal stories. I suppose it’s a deep need to feel listened to. Does anyone else get totally unsolicited life stories from total strangers and vague acquaintances? I think I must have one of those faces.

Backstreetsbackalrightdadada · 17/12/2022 17:26

I’m gutted for the poor PP who was paying such a large rent to her parents :( awful being scammed by family :(

Skye2020 · 17/12/2022 17:41

I think the whole of UK can agree that Jimmy Savile was a massive shock X

Oliol · 17/12/2022 17:44

I attended a funeral where the adult daughter of the deceased was told that the parent being buried that day was not actually her birth parent.

It was awful. At the funeral, for her father, she discovered that he wasn't her father. Apparently, there was some family knowledge of the fact, but for it to be revealed during the funeral was obviously awful.

It was a huge funeral, and I was away from the story unfolding. I only knew what happened when I got home!

WiddlinDiddlin · 17/12/2022 17:51

Skye2020 · 17/12/2022 17:41

I think the whole of UK can agree that Jimmy Savile was a massive shock X

I don't agree... perhaps the number of offences was a shock, but the idea that he was a predator, rapist and abuser was not a shock to quite a number of people. I was not shocked in the slightest that he'd been doing those things, I was shocked it had taken SO long for anyone to acknowledge it and take action.

NewBootsAndRanty · 17/12/2022 17:54

Yep @WiddlinDiddlin .

pigsducksandchickens · 17/12/2022 17:58

Not revealed to me by inadvertently by me. At the wake talking to my (much older) cousin mentioned that his mother (eldest child of the deceased) was illegitimate. We had known for years and assumed he knew. He never spoke to us again!

SoupDragon · 17/12/2022 18:07

Skye2020 · 17/12/2022 17:41

I think the whole of UK can agree that Jimmy Savile was a massive shock X

The whole of the U.K.? 🤦🏻‍♀️

absolutely not!

SinisterBumFacedCat · 17/12/2022 18:08

The very carefully tipexed names and numbers of escorts in my stepdads address book, after he killed himself and left me with DM with dementia to care for. Also that he never had sex with his first wife. Never told DM about the Escorts but it grates a bit when she tells me how wonderful he was.

user1471457751 · 17/12/2022 18:29

DarkSol · 17/12/2022 16:22

Well I found out that my aunt who was my grandfather’s caretaker was severely neglecting in and it resulted in him having a massive stroke and that was what killed him in the end. He was wheelchair bound and had heart problems at the time. The house was filthy, filled with roaches, mice and there were holes in the walls and the home looked like an episode of hoarders. She was spending the money she was getting from the government that was meant to help him on herself. Meanwhile he was starving, going without his meds and she was withholding his cell phone from him. If it was a matter of her needing help around the house she had four other siblings including my mother who is a licensed nurse who would have been delighted to help out but she never asked. I felt really devastated finding that he was being treated like that. He was one of my few extended relatives who was really truly kind to me and understood me. My cousin called adult protective services on her when he found out thankfully but the stroke had already done him in and he was dying at the time. My relatives were so awful to him when he did it too up until they saw the pictures of the state of the home. My aunt took him money and fled to mexico and we haven’t heard from her since. I hope she parishes from Montazuma’s revenge.

While your aunt is clearly a horrible person, I think you are being too kind to your mum and her other siblings here. What makes you think they would have been delighted to help when they clearly couldn't even be bothered to go visit? Maybe if they had just visited once they could have done something about the neglect.

Nocutenamesleft · 17/12/2022 18:40

I know someone who found out their parent was a pedophile after their death…
that’s a shocker.

DarkSol · 17/12/2022 18:48

user1471457751 · 17/12/2022 18:29

While your aunt is clearly a horrible person, I think you are being too kind to your mum and her other siblings here. What makes you think they would have been delighted to help when they clearly couldn't even be bothered to go visit? Maybe if they had just visited once they could have done something about the neglect.

Show quote history

That’s a whole different story in and of itself but basically the short version is they tried to. But there were always excuses and things coming up. Since he didn’t have his phone we couldn’t call him. My aunt was always the one who answered.

PatriciaPattersonGimlin · 17/12/2022 18:54

I put my foot in it shortly after a friend died. I knew from an early age that her youngest son was not her husbands child and clearly not even the same nationality.

I assumed the son knew. Literally everyone I knew, knew.

I asked him if she had told him the name of his father before she died and it quickly became apparent he had no clue whatsoever. That made for an interesting conversation! After two hours of me explaining why his 'father' could not possibly be his father and what his mother had told everyone about his biological father, he accepted the truth.

ChecoPerez · 17/12/2022 19:14

Family member - found out that when their mum died, that it wasn't actually their mum, but their gran. The eldest child was actually the mother and back then it was hidden and acted as if the gran was the mum. Caused a huge drama in the family!

CrabsInABarrel · 17/12/2022 19:16

Skye2020 · 17/12/2022 17:41

I think the whole of UK can agree that Jimmy Savile was a massive shock X

WTAF?!?!

My mum used to say he was a "weirdo" and a "perv" in the 70s. It was no shock to me, mate.

Mailista · 17/12/2022 19:17

ThanksItHasPockets · 17/12/2022 17:15

It is pretty astonishing how little prompting many people need to pour out the most extraordinary and personal stories. I suppose it’s a deep need to feel listened to. Does anyone else get totally unsolicited life stories from total strangers and vague acquaintances? I think I must have one of those faces.

Agreed. I really wish people wouldn't do this, even though it makes my job easier.

Wdib78 · 17/12/2022 19:35

That my Uncles father was his grandfather, he had been raping my grandmother up until he got her pregnant and then married her off to someone who beat her.

Jehovas witnesses for you, "you'll get your reward in heaven"

postcardpuffin · 17/12/2022 19:49

pinneddownbytabbies · 17/12/2022 12:36

@postcardpuffin The 'son' may well have kept it quiet out of respect for your relative's wishes, and also because, until not all that long ago in the grand scheme of things, homosexuality was illegal.

@pinneddownbytabbies I’m gay myself, so you don’t need to patronise me! This was well after male homosexuality was legalised — it would have been in the mid to late 1980s, and the “son” would now be in his late fifties. Plenty of gay men his age are not hiding their sexuality, though I appreciate that my elderly relative might not have wanted it known.

The “son” inherited two houses and a chunk of money that didn’t then go to any of my relative’s family members. No-one expected anything and didn’t begrudge it, but I think the family might have liked to have at least known the truth. He disappeared very quickly afterwards and never kept in touch with any of us, despite having been invited to family events for a long time beforehand.

JustHereForTheDeletionMessage · 17/12/2022 20:22

What talk guidelines did I break @MNHQ? I didn't troll hunt, I answered the OP's question. And if you're going to let this thread stand, riddled with troll hunting as it is, you could at least delete ALL the posts expressing their disbelief in the OP's authenticity.