What’s the worst thing you’ve found out about someone after they’ve died?

[Watisthis]

Going through a big shocker at the minute. Has anyone ever had something massive come out after a loved one has passed away?

That my nana spent her life bringing two sons up widowed and struggling and a month before her death an insurance company wrote to my father to advise her late husband had life insurance and she had £3800 payout due…if she’d have had this in the 60’s she could have paid off a property and lived a lovely lifestyle instead we got the £3800 divided by 6 to share. If she’d have got it when she was supposed to surely that would be circa 1/4 of a mill in todays money!

That my aunty had had a baby before she married. I was quite close to her and didn't have a clue. There is was a big age gap between her and my dad. He remembers her coming home and there being a huge row with her parents and then she left and never came back to their home. He didn't know why but obviously later suspected and she and they never talked about it. My other aunt told us that the father was an American GI and that she had the child in a mother and baby home. I feel so sad for her that she went through this and seems to have carried the "shame" for the rest of her life and that we will now never be able to talk to her about it.

That my aunt's friend who always gave her lifts and often came to dinner was actually the father of her son. It was never spoken about and I think my uncle must have noticed the boys looks.

Some people don’t care/mind. They just like to talk. It can be therapeutic.

Why on earth would you do that?
why did you think it was up to you to reveal the truth of his parentage ,and then spend hours convincing him???

I know it wasn't intentional, but what would you hope to gain from that? There are plenty of people out there whose biological fathers didn't want to know or walked out on them; and the man who actually loved and brought them up IS their father, regardless of blood ties or race.

That my father had lots of other children I never knew about.
That my parents were never married and that my mother lied about this for years and years. She also made up a story about her breaking my dad’s thumb while giving birth, when actually he wasn’t even there when I was born.
That my dad wasn’t cremated where she said he was. I spent years visiting a garden of remembrance in England when he was actually buried in Ireland. 25 years of visiting the wrong place.

No, its not ok,some people do mind, the fact OP has stated, no one has answered the question and they don't want to share is rude. If you don't want to share or discuss it. Wrong place to be. Go to a therapist!

My mum was friends with one of our neighbours, a young widow with two children about the same ages as DBro and I and we were all friends. When I was about 13 (her DC would have 14 & 16 -ish) their mother died unexpectedly. In the midst of figuring out with whom they would live and getting guardianship declared it came out that their father was NOT deceased as they'd always been told by their mother, he was in prison serving a life sentence for murder.

When the siblings told my DB and I, we asked our mum if it was true. Apparently Mum had known all along that the 'young widow' was instead a 'young divorcee'. We also think she knew the circumstances surrounding the murder but she would never admit it.

The OP hasn't stated that - you've misread their post. They said nobody has to respond, not that nobody has responde, @Missyc11

My late uncle went to my great uncle's funeral (he had been a solicitor in London but had always lived in a very modest flat) the son of the lady in the flat on the floor below was also there and was the spitting image of the great uncle who had no legitimate children and had died intestate.Everything went to another relation who hadn't had anything to do with him.

The deceased had not told their spouse they were adopted. It made for the most awkward eulogy you’ve ever heard.

Very disappointing trawl here, just to reiterate the rules of engagement:

1. Relatives are being mentioned with no reference to the value of their houses and the compound annual growth in value during their ownership
2. Spelling is far too accurate for posts to be copied and pasted into the Daily Mail
3. All mentions of incarceration clearly relate to OUTRAGEOUS sentencing decisions, yet no reference has been made as to whether excessive lenience or heinous levels of punishment were involved.

As you were.

um, if you do mind then don’t say anything… which is stating nothing but the obvious.
If you’re this wound up then perhaps read an alternative thread? Life’s too short…

Another shocker was just before our mother's funeral one of my brothers offered to bring our father's ashes over so that they could be buried with our mother.Neither myself nor my other brother had known that the ashes hadn't been spread after our father's death nearly 30 years earlier.My mother had lived with me for 3 years but never said a thing about them.

clearly some people do care.

you seem irrationally angry... are you a journalist. 🤣🤣

Why would the fact that the deceased was adopted make the eulogy 'awkward' for the spouse?

My grandfather, kidnapped my grandmother the day before her wedding to another man. He loved her but her parents said no when he asked to marry because they said he was to young. My Grandfather was 10years younger than her.

My cousin found out that her dad was born Jewish and in Poland - we had zero idea, he was a total ‘English’ gent. The deceased grandparents in Dorset were fabrication. Her mum knew, but nobody else, she told them when he passed.

Why did they keep that secret?

Not quite the same but I have known about a family secret since a teenager (that my father was married before he met my mother and that I was probably a product of their affair which ended his marriage) but I have never let on to them that I know this. I’ve half been expecting them to tell me at every significant birthday or family event but it’s never happened. I don’t think they ever plan to tell me but I would love to know more about it. I guess they will be taking this “secret” to their graves.

That my dad had been married b4 my mum..no idea if there were children.. i do wonder 🤔

Except that he had inherited it so should have considered passing it on rather than blowing it all - especially as he then buggered off to Canada leaving his wife to bring up 5 children by herself with no money/support

My grandfather’s uncle was shot and killed by the military police and we were always told it was because he was a terrible person who had killed another soldier in a fight. The truth came out after my grandfather died and some relatives asked me to look into the family history. Turned out the poor man had tried to run away from the army during world war 1 and was shot for desertion. His family were so ashamed of his cowardice they made up the story about the murder to save face.

it makes me so sad and angry that they couldn’t take pride in his pacifism so they concocted a more socially acceptable murder. He had no gravestone or funeral.

After my father died from lung cancer in Jan 1992 I discovered that he’d had a long term affair with my mums sister. My mum had known about it and turned a blind eye to it. My mum passed away 3 years later.
It made me hate my dad and aunt, who is now 85 and has dementia and is very frail. I won’t visit her or go to her funeral.
My poor mum..