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Original poster

What’s the worst thing you’ve found out about someone after they’ve died?

386 replies

Watisthis · 16/12/2022 20:03

Going through a big shocker at the minute. Has anyone ever had something massive come out after a loved one has passed away?

OP posts:
bonetala · 18/12/2022 19:26

@sueelleker yeah that's what I've always thought. The man did have a will which mentioned my grandad was a heir but apparently it was overridden by his family who didn't want the 'shame' so the title etc was passed to his a brother (he didn't have any other sons.

Oddly my parents have always lived about 5 miles from the estate (well known castle) but nobody had any idea until a few years ago! Including my grandad who took us there as children showing us where his mum worked!

MarvellousMonsters · 18/12/2022 19:28

Skye2020 · 17/12/2022 17:41

I think the whole of UK can agree that Jimmy Savile was a massive shock X

No it wasn't. He was always creepy. People just didn't want to see it. Ditto Gary Glitter.

Rolf Harris was a bit of a shocker though

IWishIHadNotDoneIt · 18/12/2022 19:42

Bear in mind that my Nan would be over 100 if she was still alive.
We knew she had been married before to Mr "Butcher" and had DM. She also had a boyf "George Baker". Never sure how he fitted in but...
We were led to believe that he cheated on her which led to the divorce. Turned out she had cheated on Butcher with George Baker and George was DM's DF.

Nickersnackersnockers · 18/12/2022 19:47

My father was illegitimate. It was shameful then. I found out after he died when I came across his birth certificate. Only then did it make sense as to why he made such a fuss of me and hubby marrying when I was expecting his granddaughter. Granddaughter was nearly 5 when me and hubby 2 married.

God rest his soul.

DemBonesDemBones · 18/12/2022 19:48

@PatriciaPattersonGimlin what an awful thing for you to do.

Ellflet · 18/12/2022 19:51

Sounds like a friend's family.

DailyMailReporterTellMeAllYourSecrets · 18/12/2022 19:51

Found out my dad had a daughter when he was 19, so she was 15 years older than me. My mum claims she was ‘always going to tell me’ but I’ve reached a point in my life where I don’t believe a lot of what she says. It’s not usually big things but little things. A close second to that is that, my brother and I had a rabbit called Fred. He was so cute and lived a decent life. Anyway, I found out about 5 years ago, that Fred the first actually died whilst my brother and I were at school, the second day we had him. My mum took his body to various pet shops asking if they had a similar one as she knew how upset we’d be if we knew that Fred carked it.

Luredbyapomegranate · 18/12/2022 19:52

bonetala · 18/12/2022 18:28

Late grandfather was actually the son of a lord.his mother was a servant and had fling with said lord Blush she married a local man very soon after fling and claimed my grandfather was born early (obviously he wasn't!)

VERY few people know! He would have obviously had a claim to the title and estate but didn't find out himself so had no idea. His sister told us after his death she was younger so her dad was who my grandfather thought was his) and looking at photos they were IDENTICAL at the same age throughout life. Scarily both also died at the same age (80's)

Sister showed us letters etc so there's no doubt it's true. Confused

He wouldn’t have any claim. Illegitimate children don’t have any claim on titles, and there’s no requirement in the UK to leave anything to your children, legitimate or not.

Zanatdy · 18/12/2022 19:53

My friend found out her estranged dad (who she did see now and then but tried to avoid it) was on drugs. Big shock as he was in his 60’s and drugs had never been on the radar

Changechangychange · 18/12/2022 20:02

Bogofftosomewherehot · 16/12/2022 20:26

Went to a funeral once where the deceased secret child turned up. That made for an interesting wake.

I realise this was a typo, but I think anybody’s “deceased” child walking in on them would be a shocker.

Damnloginpopup · 18/12/2022 20:08

Emotionalsupportviper · 17/12/2022 09:10

I think that the huge huge effort he put into helping people in big ways and small was probably his attempt to compensate for the massive guilt.

More likely a way to groom families, get close to children and allay suspicion.

I hate to disillusion you, but you are very naive if you think he felt even a moment's guilt.

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Yes. This 100%. I've worked with enough of these cunts over the years.

Constantly grooming everybody. Totally likeable, totally trustworthy, model citizens and perfect resudents...If it wasn't for knowing what is in their file. There is no rehabilitation and definitely no guilt.

ManorMouse · 18/12/2022 20:10

Middleagedspreadisreal · 18/12/2022 19:13

My Mum had lied to me about me receiving some inheritance. There was none & she knew it.

My dad did the same. Invented a huge tissue of lies about a property that he said was 100% his and that he had all the documents to prove it.

Only, when his solictor read out his will, the property wasn't even mentioned and, contrary to my father's version of events, his solictor knew nothing about it either.

Took us several years and thousands in legal fees to get it sorted.

OhIdoLike2bBesideTheSeaside · 18/12/2022 20:23

MrsThimbles · 17/12/2022 11:27

I really would like to send best wishes to everyone who has had to cope with the reality of bigamy, other children, adultery, other lives etc when a loved one has died or even if it’s come to light during their lifetime. It’s all just so awful that years later I still can’t come to terms with it all and I can only say to people - how can you come to terms with something you still can’t believe happened.

A very big unmumsnetty hug to all of you from me.

My partner has 2 older kids who live abroad with their mother and we don't have anything to do with them (not from lack of trying)

Mine are only little but when they are old enough I guess I'll have to tell them but I'm not upsetting them now

Catwoman9 · 18/12/2022 20:26

Friend of my parents thought he was an only child. Found out he had two step sisters 😱

ivykaty44 · 18/12/2022 20:32

we found out my grandfather had been secretly reading the Daily Mail in the garden shed for years, this came as quite a shock as his nephew wrote for Reuters

ivykaty44 · 18/12/2022 20:33

Friend of my parents thought he was an only child. Found out he had two step sisters 😱

step sister aren't related, do you mean half sisters?

Daffi · 18/12/2022 20:33

londonmummy1966 · 16/12/2022 22:29

That my maternal grandfather had gambled away a huge fortune including several millions in one sitting

His money

Michelle2909 · 18/12/2022 20:47

Bogofftosomewherehot · 16/12/2022 20:26

Went to a funeral once where the deceased secret child turned up. That made for an interesting wake.

Me too! When/where was your funeral? Might have been the same one lol!

Damnloginpopup · 18/12/2022 20:49

LowbrowVictoriana · 18/12/2022 09:46

Have the "eurgh, it's a journo!" Squawkers any idea how annoying they are, derailing and interrupting an enjoyable thread? Report if there's something wrong with a thread, otherwise fuck off.
We all know that we're putting info in the public domain here, it's our choice!

Totally agree. They're just pious fucking trolls themselves. ITS A CHAT FORUM. NOBODY FUCKING CARES!

Damnloginpopup · 18/12/2022 20:51

daisychain01 · 18/12/2022 11:31

Enjoyable? You might get some twisted salacious entertainment gossiping about people who have died, but to many people it's as low down in the gutter as it gets. Morally repugnant .

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...yet here you are reading page 9...

PicadillyPicalilli · 18/12/2022 21:09

Shock when I was shredding their medical paperwork.

Thats all I’m saying as I decided I would never tell anyone.

sueelleker · 18/12/2022 21:10

Nickersnackersnockers · 18/12/2022 19:47

My father was illegitimate. It was shameful then. I found out after he died when I came across his birth certificate. Only then did it make sense as to why he made such a fuss of me and hubby marrying when I was expecting his granddaughter. Granddaughter was nearly 5 when me and hubby 2 married.

God rest his soul.

My sister and I were illegitimate. Didn't find out until I was 24, and thinking about organising their Silver Wedding celebration, and Mum had to tell me. Turned out my Dad was still married, and couldn't get a divorce until I was 2. I always found it quite funny and romantic!

marvellousmaple · 18/12/2022 21:21

Emotionalsupportviper · 17/12/2022 08:52

Oh bugger - it IS a euphemism.

I know this sounds naive, but I honestly thought that the first poster meant that her DGM had a Flemish Giant as a housepet and it slept in the wardrobe. I'd wondered about the "boxed up" bit!

I feel such a twit. 😳

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Oh thank goodness it wasn't just me @Emotionalsupportviper . I was wondering it the poor rabbit was still alive after put in a box in the back of a wardrobe. I am a total dumbo sometimes.😂

Mailista · 18/12/2022 21:33

MatildaJayne · 17/12/2022 15:28

Because it’s anonymous and who actually cares if it’s in the paper? 🤷🏼‍♀️

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Because we normally have to make at least a bit of effort to find case studies, who normally want to be paid. People are handing it to us on a plate here!

Missingpop · 18/12/2022 21:36

Chatting to a man at my grans funeral, he asked how I knew his sister I explained she was my gran, he looked puzzled so who’s child are you then ? Told him who it was he was very puzzled & sat down looking quite distressed; took my hand & said he was sorry, I had no idea why he had become so upset once he realised who I was.

I called my aunt over & it turned out that my gran had lied about her age to everyone; she was actually five years younger, meaning she was 15 when she fell pregnant with my aunt, yet had given my mum hell when she did the same thing & had approached all family members to try to get one of them to adopt me; none were in any position to do it; so she had me taken into care.

I’d grown up knowing I wasn’t wanted & an inconvenience I also knew I was the families shameful secret; but once I heard what her brother had to say so much fell into place.