Worst Christmas Toys Ever

[TheShellBeach]

You know, the ones which were advertised throughout December, and your children begged for them, and they were shite despite costing more than your monthly mortgage payment.

Which toys were the most disappointing in your house?

Also my son got V-tec Toot Toot cars and track one year. Each vehicle singing it's own inane song on repeat. The bloody things had tortured me into insanity by New Year

Fingerlings. Paid a small fortune for two very boring little monkeys who blew a kiss if you blew on them. Otherwise boring as hell and now in places like b&m 5 years later for 10% of the price I paid.

pained!

Many years ago possibly in the 1960s I received a Tressy doll.
It was alleged that her hair would grow.

It didn't.

Tressy came with six miniature hairgrips which I lost immediately and spent till New Year looking for desperately.

I still dream about finding those hairgrips now.

We had those. DH put insulation tape over all the noise holes so he didn’t have to listen to the inane screeching ….

’SHALL WE GO IN THE AMBULANCE ??!!! YES PLEASE!!! WEEEEEEEEEE!!!’ <insert awful tune>
x 1000

The above was aimed at @FearofQueefing !

Many, many years ago DD was given an "oven" for baking cupcakes.

The "oven" was essentially a plastic oven with a lightbulb and an upside down foil takeaway container in. You made up the mix for one teeny cupcake and put it under the foil where it was "baked" by the heat of the lightbulb 😬

It took forever and, even then, it was still largely uncooked.

Crocodile Dentist 🤦🏻‍♀️DS was about 7 and that was what he wanted. To be fair he did play with it quite a bit but it was so boring!

I never had an injury with mine. I used it outdoors

Swimming Sindy that sank first time in the bath.
Thomas Tank engine set that the tracks constantly came apart on - courtesy of MIL who was too tight to buy the better quality version.
Sylvainian family horse caravan , only the horse was played with.

I had managed to COMPLETELY forget about those! I particularly loved trying to hunt the singing ones down after they'd been thrown into the toy bins - or even better, which moving box it had been packed away in.

This thing. It's like an electronic whack-a-mole type game, but instead of going up and down, their heads light up. It was so. incredibly. loud. And played tinny electronic songs that were so high-pitched they hurt your inner ear. And obviously the DC didn't actually play with the way it was intended, they just set the volume to max and repeatedly tried to bash each other with the hammer.

Mine is Pie face. Played on Christmas Day and made a mess! Never been touched since as the kids don't want to clean up and I certainly am not doing it!

Hot wheels. Every year we got him the one he wanted, we realised soon enough but let him have them, every year they went back and he chose something else. He now discourages his son from wanting them 😂

Oh fuck, I've got DS a Mr Frosty and a playmobil prison for Christmas....

Another vote for Hatchimals. DD was so desperate for one and it was at the point when you couldn't get one for love nor money, they were flying off the shelves within seconds of being restocked.

Eventually I bought one from French Amazon and paid through the nose to get it posted to the UK. We spent around 30 minutes huddled round it watching it hatch, then it was relegated to the toy box, never to be seen again.

I didn't learn and the next year got conned into buying a Poopsie Unicorn. A rainbow coloured plastic unicorn that sits on a potty. This one was a little easier to source, but again was barely glanced at after Christmas Day.

Thankfully, she's a pre teen now, and though the techie gifts are more expensive, they do at least have a use.

Omg yes, £25 of utterly useless shite!

Elefun , I could have blown the butterflies higher myself.

The Zingzilla guitar. It. Had. No. Off. Switch. Who the fuck makes a toy like that without an off switch?! It would randomly yell “Zingzillas, yeah!” at all times of the day and night if anyone so much as breathed near it.

I used to work at a Toys R Us years ago. We got an huge number of those chocolate coin makers returned to us by angry parents right after Christmas.

That sounds as bad as Mr. Fucking Frosty.

I've just looked up mr frosty for interest and it has 5 stars on Argos... can I ask why is it so bad? Does it not crush properly?

I had my dreams turned to ash by Mr Frosty as a child. My poor parents actually ended up buying a second one as the first was destroyed in a shed collapse. They were both equally shite and I have no idea why it was replaced. I doubt the second one was ever used.

Thing is they are still for sale. Surely the people buying them now are the grown ups that found they were rubbish as children. Why pay the disappointment forward?

I had one of those.

Mip robot. Ds was desperate for one, as his friend had it.

Think it was played with about 4 times. Ds is not the kids of kid who can do something over again or be pleased at making little programs. And the connection never used to work properly.

Playdoh ice cream maker
Furby
Playmobil castle, it fell apart if you so much as looked at it!
Playmobil submarine, it just didn’t work
Tamagotichi, I loved mine in the 90s when they were all the rage so was so exited when they brought them back but they clearly haven’t stood the test of time with all the other technology that’s available to kids now.

I’m so glad we’re past the toy stage now, most of them are shit!

As a child I got a snail toy that you opened the side of its shell with a key-what a pile of crushed dreams that was
it didn’t do anything
god knows why I got it as my parents didn’t do ‘girl’ toys

‘dont wake dad’ board game
my lot nagged and nagged so I saved up to buy them it
it was played with once and ended up in the bin

Buckaroo-I didn’t get it as a child so bought it for my lot from a charity shop
cheap plastic that didn’t do anything
played with my me-twice

pop up pirate
my brother got it-he worked out which one ‘popped’ it-that would work twice-and he worked out which would be the next hole that ‘popped’ it

ker-plunk-never understood that one-it took waaayyy too long to set up for very little reward