Worst Christmas Toys Ever

[TheShellBeach]

You know, the ones which were advertised throughout December, and your children begged for them, and they were shite despite costing more than your monthly mortgage payment.

Which toys were the most disappointing in your house?

@Jackiebrambles Keepers they were called! I had Sheldon who came with her sidekick Footloose!

Yes Keepers! I remember the tune in the advert so well

@Jackiebrambles same! "Keepers Keepers, keeps them safe inside!" then the voiceover said theres (insert names of various characters).

Lol, I begged for one for years but my Mum held firm that it was crap. Now I'm older I see she was right.

Sounds like me and Alexa.

Alexa and I did NOT get on. I sent her back to Amazon pronto.

Poopsie unicorn surprise.lWhat a waste of 50 quid! Pooped runny slime through its heart shaped anus then became completely constipated never to work again…

I loathe Alexa. I only tolerate it because I love my husband more than I hate Alexa.

@Whatthediddlyfeck I'm so "glad" (wrong word but I'm sure you know what I mean) that someone else knows the crushing disappointment of that oven.

I've even doubted that the thing existed sometimes, as the concept of baking with a lightbulb as the only source of heat just seems so ridiculous

I have never heard of it either.

It sounds mad. As mad as a unicorn defecating (which I have also never heard of).

That oven was called Easy Bake Oven. The light bulb was a low halogen one.

That actually reminds me of when I used to go and look after an old lady occasionally. Her (real) oven had been malfunctioning for a couple of years but she would not believe it, so she refused to either get it fixed or buy another one.

She had form for this, BTW. Apparently when she was much younger and her husband was still alive, he waited until they were on holiday so that a new dishwasher could be installed in their absence (he hoped she would not notice and he was right, oddly).

Anyway - this old lady was fond of pheasant for Sunday lunch and we used to put it in on Saturday afternoon, so that it had twenty four hours time to cook. This was with the oven on full blast, although of course it only ever reached a very, very low temperature/

Maybe she was the inspiration for this toy?

Baby Annabelle and Baby Alexander.

DD2 was scared of the noises / movements, so I had to take the batteries out and sew up the babygrows, "just in case"

Oh and dogs called Lucy and Lola that apparently danced / walked / were annoying little shits when you called their name and said the command. Never worked.

"Lola, Lola, Lola, Lola, LOLA, LOLA"

StillMedusa

Not so much disappointing as dangerous... when my DD1 was small she wanted this flying fairy... it sat on a launcher and you pulled the string and it whizzed into the air.

I got one for my girl, when she was 4. It worked well for a little while, then sailed into the fire. You can imagine how distraught she was! Even I had a lump in my throat...

The absolute worst thing I ever had was at the age of 5 or 6. An elderly great aunt knitted me some underpants, using bright orange nylon wool; they were too small.

I was loudly ungrateful and copped it from my dad. He and my mother made me parade round the living room in the bloody things. For some reason, I burst into tears and copped it some more.

Did anyone get one of those dolls which supposedly did a wee?

In the 1960s I remember getting one of those dolls' bottles which magically looked like the doll had drunk them. I was so easy to fool in those days - but I never owned a doll which did a wee.

I felt so disappointed.

Oh well, at least your parents didn't have to spend a huge amount of money on them.

To be fair, she was a bit dotty. My nan and grandad both had lots of sisters, who did crafty things. I got lots of nice jumpers, scarves, hats etc.

Mr bloody Frosty. I never got one despite begging for it, my mother in law bought my daughter one last year and it is awful! bloody useless thing that takes forever to shave a tiny bit of ice, it's been used once and now stays in the cupboard. My mum was right.

Tiny Tears. It was all my none doll loving sister wanted, my Mum spent the last of her Christmas budget on it for her. Thankfully it was a very much loved doll (alongside her Transformers) for many years. I still love those magic bottles.

My eldest wanted a coin maker, I actually got her a different brand Cereal Bar maker and tbf that has had reasonable use. I later got the coin maker from the charity shop, it's ok. Glad I got a bargain though. Oh and I never use the silly little bottle thing to melt the chocolate.

One year it was Pig Goes Pop, I didn't buy it, they never mentioned it again.

Gotta go flamingo. Fucking rubbish.

The happy nappers were great though, use ours loads

Etch a sketch - never managed to make even one decent picture

What's a Mr. Frosty?

Here he is, in all his useless glory.
He is still expensive and I bet he still doesn't make flavoured ice properly.