Is anyone awake? I’m expecting bad news and I can’t sleep

[MyCake]

My dh is unwell and we have no idea what is wrong. We are getting scan results this morning but they were only to rule things out so probably not conclusive. However, I can’t see how this isn’t going to be something serious as he has declined so rapidly.

I feel sick. We’ve already lost most of his income through him being off work so I’m also worried sick about money. We have enough savings to manage another 2 months at the most.

My dc are already suffering, despite them
mot fully understanding how serious the symptoms are, as dh is pretty much housebound and I can’t physically drive them to all the clubs and places they need to go by myself.
I also work full time although thankfully I’m a teacher and break up this week.

My heart is broken just looking at him disappearing in front of me. The doctors are slow to take his symptoms seriously so sadly by the time he was sent to hospital he was already unable to work and very ill. It could of course be something very treatable but at the moment I feel suffocated with the fear of the worst case scenarios.
I am writing this as I’m lonely and scared and wondered if anyone is awake to say hello.

I have name changed in case anyone recognises me from this post. If you do, please don’t mention this as I am doing a great job of appearing strong on the outside.

Thinking of you .

@MyCake So sorry you're so in the wars.

On 20th he is seeing the consultant for nerve conduction tests and hopefully started on steroids

What are the steroids for? His appetite or..?

What a tough time you are having. You must be exhausted.

My goodness, this is such hell for you. There is so much to deal with. I wish I could do something other than hold you in my thoughts and send love ❤️

I found it a massive shock when dh couldn't drive and I was the one left working and doing all the kids activities.
Are there any you could drop or ask friends for help if they attend.
I had to ask people to watch kids whilst I was taking other kid somewhere etc.

I was going to say what Cottonsock just said. It's not dereliction of duty to let someone else run your DC along with theirs, for them to miss the odd activity, to live on ready meals or whatever else it takes to reduce the pressure on you.
I'm so sorry about the long covid. I'd hoped it wouldn't happen.

Sending love to you @MyCake. This really has been the toughest of times. Let's hope the upcoming treatment and consultations bring about some improvement.

As for the driving, it really is another burden to bear. It's the whole mental and physical load thing. I guess no-one can ever doubt your love and dedication to DH.

What a horrid time you're having. It's a wonder you're still putting one foot in front of the other.

Have you looked at claiming Personal Independence Payment for your DH? It could take some financial pressure off. It is easier once you have a diagnosis, but not impossible without. There's a real art to filling in the forms though. PM me if I can help.

My heart goes out to you OP 💐

Oh MyCake I am so sorry you are having the worst of times. I think many of us have been through those times when it is just one hideously awful thing after another (I know I have!) I promise you that whatever the outcome of all your problems you do get through it. I know it sounds cliched and trite but it is "one day at a time" and don't even consider the "what ifs"
There will be a day when things are on an even keel again, in the meantime sending you love and strength x

So sorry to hear all this, please do not feel bad for putting your needs higher up the agenda, whatever that looks like

Oh, Cake, its difficult to put on the brave face but I'm sure you are handling it beautifully. You do not have to be Superwoman. You deserve some grace from yourself. I'm sure you are exhausted. Take care of you.

Sorry to hear you're no closer to an answer. Fingers crossed that changes soon and that it turns out to be something treatable 💐

Your strength and resilience is awe-inspiring, just remember it's OK to struggle; you've been carrying this for so long it isn't surprising that you're reaching your limit.

I hope you are feeling better MyCake after covid. Thinking of you.

Bless you @MyCake
Just wanted to reply and send some positive vibes your way. I hope things get better for you and DH soon 🙏 💛

How is your husband doing? 💐

Thinking of you all @MyCake

I hope you and your husband are doing okay @MyCake. I’ve been thinking of you lots xx

Sending you much love 💐

How did the appointment go with the consultant? Is he any better? How are you doing?

Thinking of you and your family

Hoping the appointment went well and you're closer to some answers @MyCake

Still thinking of you @MyCake - I hope you are okay.

It’s been a bit of a fucking nightmare. I’ll update properly letter.
DH is quite a bit better since he has been on the medication for the candida in his oesophagus and the gastritis. He had gained weight and is stronger.
He is still awaiting results from blood tests and biopsies.