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Original poster

Is it really the norm to be completely hair free for sex now?

414 replies

Getdone · 10/12/2022 12:40

I was married for 30 years, I kept myself tidy if I was likely to be going swimming but that's about it. DH never seemed to mind or express a preference for anything else.

I was part of a conversation with a bunch of middle aged, mostly single, admittedly quite drunk, men and women (don't ask me how the conversation came up!) and the consensus seemed to be that anything other than a completely hair free woman and a well trimmed man was "disgusting".

I've told them all Blush that if the ever get the opportunity (they won't!) they'll have to take it as it comes 😆

I really can't imagine setting myself up for that sort of maintenence, even if I wanted to, but is it really the norm?

OP posts:
GingerLiberalFeminist · 10/12/2022 17:17

I've said to anyone who wanted me to go hair free I'm not willing to make myself look like a child.
I'll also note that stubble is rubbish down there if you do any form of exercise :D

StarlightLady · 10/12/2022 17:18

There is no norm, it is purely personal choice. But it is nothing new, full hair removal took place in Ancient Roman and Ancient Greek bathouses. In addition is is common practice in some religions that hair is removed after a period.

Personally, I've been hair free for almost as long as I can remember (I'm in my 40s), for me it feels far pleasanter in the warm weather and increases sensitivity but it really depends on the individual.

No-one should feel pushed into removing their hair if they choose not to, but, likewise, removing hair does not interfere with anyone else. It's as individual as whether to use coloured nail polish or not.

WhirlyTwirly · 10/12/2022 17:18

Am I the only one that finds this thread a bit depressing? Don’t we have enough to worry about and pay for than worry about whether we have pubic hair or not?? And surely there’s more to relationships than our public hair - or lack of it.

70sShmeventies · 10/12/2022 17:24

Not here! Had a wax twice in my life (now 34) and wondered why the hell I was forking out for a very painful experience in a very intimate area and never did again. I’ve had ridicule from men in the past but it’s a good filter.

Shaving makes me come out in angry red spots and I can’t stand the idea of hair removal cream in such a sensitive area. I only shave other areas or trim pubic hair when I’m swimming or in the summer.

StarlightLady · 10/12/2022 17:25

The child like comparison annoys me. Likewise those who insist it is all porn related. Do all these people have hairy legs and hairy underarms? If they choose to so, that's fine but to add, I may be hair free but I wear a 36F bra and rock some fairy large hips. Also my labia looks nothing like a child. Nothing in my appearance is child like.

Do people say that men who shave their faces look like boys? Honestly!

BratzB · 10/12/2022 17:26

flflflf · 10/12/2022 17:13

aside from the huge misogyny and double standards involved from male partners who prefer women not to have it, who has time to attend to it!? honestly, the hours many women put into plucking, tweezing, waxing, shaving, etc etc seem a massive waste and also another thing to have to worry about - pointlessly. I find it offensive if a guy prefers a partner without it! These people are better off avoided, it's a good douchebag filter! An ex ordered me to shave down below once because he was offended by the au natrel appearance. In my youthful naivety I listened and did it! I now wish I had dumped him on the spot.

In my experience, men who insist on no hair have very immature opinions about body hair and women's bodies in general. Like you say, great filter.

I also hate the way shaved or waxed looks on both men and women. Prepared
I'm prepared to trim for my own comfort and that's it.

70sShmeventies · 10/12/2022 17:28

@WhirlyTwirly honestly I don’t find this thread depressing I find it depressing that there is such pressure for women to remove their pubic hair. I think it’s absolutely barmy and so misogynist. Like foot binding or the other brutal practices society had brainwashed us into thinking are necessary.

LearnerCook · 10/12/2022 17:30

I reckon the completely hair-free trend is all part of the pornification of our world. I'd never have entertained my husband if he'd experienced a preference for that kind of 'look.' If women feel obliged to do this for a man, they need a lesson in self esteem; otherwise it's each to their own.

dottyshihtzu · 10/12/2022 17:34

Also my labia looks nothing like a child. Nothing in my appearance is child like.

Exactly. The number of people on MN who can't tell the difference between a woman and a kid is concerning.

I'm hairless, not through choice, and it's just lovely to hear that I'm weird, creepy, and nonce magnet or some shit Hmm

StillNotGrownUpat57 · 10/12/2022 17:36

Ask any gynaecologist- pubic hair is there for a reason- to stop chafing. Lost count of the number of teenage girls I saw in my medical career complaining of being sore ‘down below’ but had removed all their (protective) pubic hair.
Ask any anatomist, the inner labia are not hair bearing by definition! The mucous membranes lining them do not have hair follicles.
Personally when I went for the complete shave I was mortified because, yes, I did look like ‘a little girl’ down there!

SeaMills · 10/12/2022 17:39

aside from the huge misogyny and double standards involved from male partners who prefer women not to have it

No double standards in our house. Me and DH have a deal. He keeps his face hair free and I keep my bits likewise.

Benjispruce4 · 10/12/2022 17:44

I it’s not the norm. I am 51 though. Wax bikini line and that’s it. DH does nothing as he doesn’t wear a bikini.😁

BakewellGin1 · 10/12/2022 17:44

DH has a tidy up now and again down below which I much appreciate..

Personally I like to keep minimal hair as in my own view (I'm not saying it's correct) I find it more hygienic with no hairs for any smells of fluids to cling to (yes I bathe or shower at least once a day) and cannot stand the feeling of hair on legs, underarms or down below.

Benjispruce4 · 10/12/2022 17:44

I love stubble on DH’s face and his hairy chest. It’s manly.

StillNotGrownUpat57 · 10/12/2022 17:44

Notanotherusername4321 · 10/12/2022 15:18

I’ve no idea what my dc do with theirs either 🤷‍♀️

or nephews, nieces, and well anyone else…

how on earth does it come up in conversation?

Show quote history

I used to have the grim job of cleaning the shower after my teenagers. Now my daughter has gone to the opposite extreme, no shaving at all. My poor DH, whilst recognising it’s entirely her choice, does struggle with sight of her armpit hair which you could plait! Obviously a generational difference…

PermanentTemporary · 10/12/2022 17:45

I used to think bikini line was about removing hair from the chest...

burgledinParis · 10/12/2022 17:45

I had a period of taking everything off in my 20’s. Now I take off on both sides of labia and anything below but leave everything above alone. Either way I’ve never had a comment - a part from last partner who the first time he saw me totally « bald » disappeared to the shower for a good twenty minutes and came back having shaved everything off himself. He thought my hair removal was a way if telling him I wanted to do the same…. We grew our hair back together and stayed that way

jamdonut · 10/12/2022 17:46

No , I think hair- free is a bit weird to be honest. Nothing wrong with ‘tidy’ but all off is just unnatural.

Thighlengthboots · 10/12/2022 17:46

StarlightLady · 10/12/2022 17:25

The child like comparison annoys me. Likewise those who insist it is all porn related. Do all these people have hairy legs and hairy underarms? If they choose to so, that's fine but to add, I may be hair free but I wear a 36F bra and rock some fairy large hips. Also my labia looks nothing like a child. Nothing in my appearance is child like.

Do people say that men who shave their faces look like boys? Honestly!

Exactly! Women who prefer men to shave their faces must prefer pubescent boys by that rationale. After all, it’s natural!

Baconsprouts · 10/12/2022 17:46

PortiasBiscuit · 10/12/2022 12:49

Porn innit? I think it’s grim, everyone wants to fuck women who resemble little girls. Bleuch!

What a disgusting comment

Baconsprouts · 10/12/2022 17:48

70sShmeventies · 10/12/2022 17:28

@WhirlyTwirly honestly I don’t find this thread depressing I find it depressing that there is such pressure for women to remove their pubic hair. I think it’s absolutely barmy and so misogynist. Like foot binding or the other brutal practices society had brainwashed us into thinking are necessary.

Are you seriously comparing shaving your bits with foot binding?

The ignorance in these comments is staggering

Benjispruce4 · 10/12/2022 17:49

I don’t think intimate areas are attractive on man or woman. A bit of hair is better in my opinion.

Gwenhwyfar · 10/12/2022 17:49

"Me and DH have a deal. He keeps his face hair free and I keep my bits likewise."

Not really equivalent.

Crazykatie · 10/12/2022 17:53

I’m getting lots of hair these days - high testosterone they say l do trim where needed for my own appearance sake. OH has never commented, but then he wouldn’t he prefers the older cuddly woman

Gwenhwyfar · 10/12/2022 17:53

"it is nothing new, full hair removal took place in Ancient Roman and Ancient Greek bathouses."

Hot countries. It's relatively new in the UK as far as I know.

Shaving the armpits apparently started in the 20s with the style of strapless dresses.