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Is it really the norm to be completely hair free for sex now?

414 replies

Getdone · 10/12/2022 12:40

I was married for 30 years, I kept myself tidy if I was likely to be going swimming but that's about it. DH never seemed to mind or express a preference for anything else.

I was part of a conversation with a bunch of middle aged, mostly single, admittedly quite drunk, men and women (don't ask me how the conversation came up!) and the consensus seemed to be that anything other than a completely hair free woman and a well trimmed man was "disgusting".

I've told them all Blush that if the ever get the opportunity (they won't!) they'll have to take it as it comes 😆

I really can't imagine setting myself up for that sort of maintenence, even if I wanted to, but is it really the norm?

OP posts:
Cleopatra67 · 10/12/2022 17:54

Sandra1984 · 10/12/2022 13:17

I’m single, 40’s, been in long and short relationships and presently dating. I have quite an active sex life.

looking like a barbie doll is not the norm and whoever says that to you is taking the piss. Hygiene and proper body grooming IS the norm, that includes being clean, smelling good and keeping your pubic hair short, nice and properly groomed.

Properly groomed! What nonsense.

tectonicplates · 10/12/2022 17:57

ItsBritneyBitch45 · 10/12/2022 14:30

Have you actually ever watched Naked Attraction? There’s always women with bushes and women with ‘outies.’ None of them are scared to show their bits in public

I have watched every episode of every series. The ones with bushes always get rejected, and one of the most common "compliments" about women's labia is that they look neat and tucked.

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 10/12/2022 17:59

Porn seems to be swinging back in the other direction slowly. You're starting to see a lot more of the nice neat trim, and even some full bushes. There's even underarm hair on some of the women these days. Give it another 10 years and maybe the general population will have headed that way too

Hankunamatata · 10/12/2022 18:02

In my teens and 20s, early 30s yep it was the norm to have everything waxed. Which I did maintain until having kids then I just couldn't be arsed.

SeaMills · 10/12/2022 18:02

Not really equivalent.

Why not? It’s all body hair that would naturally grow long.

Baconsprouts · 10/12/2022 18:04

I’d say it’s the norm, I don’t know many women my age that have a bush, when getting changed at the gym everyone I see walking around stark naked is shaved too.

SaySomethingMan · 10/12/2022 18:04

PortiasBiscuit · 10/12/2022 12:49

Porn innit? I think it’s grim, everyone wants to fuck women who resemble little girls. Bleuch!

Ignorance. For certain hair/skin type combination, thick hair growth can be pretty uncomfortable, even if single.

Bestcatmum · 10/12/2022 18:05

God no, I couldn't be doing with a young girl in a salon waxing my fat middle aged nether regions - awful!!!

WiddlinDiddlin · 10/12/2022 18:07

I'd prefer everything waxed off from below the eyebrows (my eyebrows are fine they do their job, leave 'em alone), but in my case that would just be pits and pubes anyway, I don't bother with legs, never really have.

However these days I have lost so much mobility and got so fat it isn't practical and most waxers wouldn't anyway, long before they read my list of medical shiz they make you tick off.

I did find it felt cleaner, I get repeat skin infections and being hair free meant it was much easier to keep things clean and dry and dealt with properly. Whether that meant I was actually cleaner than when everything is hairy, not a clue, don't really care.

It was certainly much easier to deal with festering evil armpit flare ups when hair free, and in fact they happened far less frequently.

I wouldn't shave though, the regrowth is horrid and itchy, which isn't the case with waxing, and I only ever had non-strip wax (after trying strip wax once or twice and finding how badly it damaged skin) which is much kinder on the skin.

Sex wise, never had any complaints either way, but then I don't shag the sort of person that would dream of complaining.

I prefer partners to be minimally hairy and ideally neatly trimmed but again, not a dealbreaker.

Certainly, nothing to do with pleasing others, nothing to do with wanting to look like a child (ive yet to see a child with boobs this big!), all about my own preferences and comfort.

KangarooKenny · 10/12/2022 18:07

Short back and sides for me !

ItsBritneyBitch45 · 10/12/2022 18:08

tectonicplates · 10/12/2022 17:57

I have watched every episode of every series. The ones with bushes always get rejected, and one of the most common "compliments" about women's labia is that they look neat and tucked.

You said, ‘so nobody with a bush would dare go on the programme for fear of being ridiculed.’ ‘So anyone with more flowery ones would be scared to show it in public,’

Whether they get picked is neither here or there. You said that they wouldn’t dare go on the programme and would be scared to show their vulva in public. That simply isn’t true as women with the features mentioned are often on the show

MajesticWhine · 10/12/2022 18:14

It's not the norm for me but having been married for a long time I am not in the dating game.

Inyournewdress · 10/12/2022 18:15

I think it’s bizarre and looks absolutely terrible.
I’ll keep the hair thanks.
A friend who works in a GU clinic told me that this trend for hair removal has caused many unfortunate and grim complications that she has had to confront and says it completely unsuitable to remove it in terms of health/hygiene in the pubic area.

Benjispruce4 · 10/12/2022 18:16

Ingrown hairs and chicken skin bumps are less attractive than hair. Thank god I’m too old at 51 for this trend!

Autumndays123 · 10/12/2022 18:17

PortiasBiscuit · 10/12/2022 12:49

Porn innit? I think it’s grim, everyone wants to fuck women who resemble little girls. Bleuch!

I hate this frame of mind. A woman has breasts, hips and a feminine shape to varying degrees, just because she doesn't have public hair, it's doesn't mean she looks like a child. It's the same as saying women with small breasts look like children, it's factually inaccurate and offensive.

I agree that porn has been a major influence on removing pubic hair but for many, there is the cleanliness aspect. Hair naturally holds sweat because it's porous. That goes for other down below odours too. Then there's period blood and discharge, each can be unpleasant when there's public hair (especially when there's masses of it).

Generally, many, many women feel much 'cleaner' without pubic hair and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

PuzzledObserver · 10/12/2022 18:17

Dear God, if it truly is the norm, I hope I die before DH so I never have to negotiate it. Either that, or we both fizzle out together in our nineties.

How’s about this, though? You don’t me my perfectly natural pubic hair is either unhygienic or untidy, and I won’t tell you that I think removing it is weird?

Jota67 · 10/12/2022 18:25

Zanatdy · 10/12/2022 16:05

Those that take it all off and don’t wax (don’t think I can face that) - hair removal cream or electric razor (or any other method). Help, date no 3 at his this week! And yes I know I shouldn’t care what a man thinks but the grey pubes have made me decide it’s got to come off incase the lights are on!

Woo woo cream is the best.
Leave it on for 6 mins and rinse off in shower
Amazing stuff

UnshakenNeedsStirring · 10/12/2022 18:28

I am in my 40s, neer have any hair. I prefer my guys to have a clean set of hairfree balls and trimmed pubes. Why would anyone want a mouthful of hair

Hemelbelle · 10/12/2022 18:29

Does it date from Sex and the City the fashion for waxing? It would never have occurred to me to shave my pubic hair as a young woman in the 1980s. I was pleased that they'd stop shaving you before giving birth by the time I had my children, as evidence was you / baby were more likely to get an infection rather than less.

Benjispruce4 · 10/12/2022 18:31

@UnshakenNeedsStirring Balls and mouths should never meet! 😂

NameChange1718 · 10/12/2022 18:33

No idea what they norm is but I have never gone 2 days without shaving ever since the hair began to grow. So I haven’t ever allowed mine to grow in

weegiemum · 10/12/2022 18:39

Au naturel here. I've got a condition that limits sensation and it's just not safe for me to shave, I had a couple of bad experiences on my legs and armpits. Never went close to the pubic area!

Interestingly I've 2 dds (19 and 22) and neither of them shave armpits or pubes, but do shave legs. They're both in 2 years+ rela,tionships and have never shaved. The feminist in me is proud of them!

NameChange1718 · 10/12/2022 18:42

Forgot to add I don’t shave my legs though. As I have less hair on them than on my arms. Just tiny little hairs you can barely see. I would shave them if the hairs were dark or long

AllOfThemWitches · 10/12/2022 18:45

I hate having a bush, I'd shave whether or not I was having sex.

Stroopwaffle5000 · 10/12/2022 18:51

I've been getting rid of my hair since I was 15, I'm now 43. It's just personal preference. Lots of hair wouldn't stop my OH from wanting sex, but I know he prefers just a landing strip.