I feel that the time has come for me to give a little more personal information on why I am in favour of assisted dying.
Specialist had given 12-18months final stage diagnosis. In the 5 months since the diagnosis, DH had been in hospital for very short periods about 3 times, so when he was admitted for the 4th time, we saw no reason to suspect this time would be any different.
DH had complained of feeling very weak and unwell so we saw the GP who advised that I phone the specialist nurse in charge of his treatment, to arrange immediate admittance to kidney ward as doc can only advise A&E.
It's NYE (Hogmany in Scotland) but it's still early afternoon so we wait for nurse to return my call. Hours later after no call back we eventually decide to go to A&E but DH wants to shower and shave first before going - the dignity thing. He is so weak that he barely manages the shower, no shave, and has to rest afterwards. Two hours later we are on our way to A&E at last, but it takes another 4 hours for DH to be admitted to kidney ward as blood tests have to be done first so he is in A&E bed.
Five days later, doctor is updating me and says (after I asked because DDs live abroad) that it's time to call the family home. DS had already quit a job abroad to work in UK, when he realised how ill his dad was and as he came to Scotland when DF entered hospital, is already here.
Now it's a mad scramble for DDs to fly home. One DD with the shorter 6 hr journey takes a taxi directly from airport to hospital. After greeting her, I leave the room to give her some time alone with her dad. Within 5 minutes she comes frantically crying to the family waiting room, "I think dad just died!".
Minutes later I get a call from other DD (9 hr flight) who is on her way with 2 DGC, saying that she is still at Heathrow as her plane had a fault and had to turn around but she would be on the next connecting flight. I have to tell her, on the phone, that DF had just died. She starts crying. There is nothing we can do. We all feel helpless.
DS had gone home to rest after being at DF's beside throughout the night, so in the end, only 1 family member had been there to say a final goodbye. We all wished we had been there together.
We should not forget the potential impact on the loved ones left behind when we debate this issue. Just imagine how differently it could have been if DH had been given the opportunity to choose his dying. Perhaps he would not have used it, but this very personal experience, is exactly why I want to be able to have the choice for myself. It's for my family's sake too.