Should we cancel this expensive holiday??

[RNBrie]

7 years ago, my brother and his wife moved to New Zealand. They've since had two children I've never met.

They had holidays booked back in the UK a couple of times but everything got cancelled because of covid.

I've never been able to afford to visit him as we have 3 DC, I could have afforded to go alone but didn't want to use up annual leave to go away without my family.

6 months ago I was given an unexpected large bonus from work and DH and I agreed we'd spend it all on a once in a lifetime trip to NZ. It's all booked and paid for, we go at Easter. It's costing a fortune, about the cost of a wedding for flights, accommodation, all in.

I've just found out that a month after we get back, my brother is coming here with his family. My parents are paying for it because they miss them too but don't want to travel there.

My DH and I are discussing cancelling our holiday because the main reason we booked was that I was just desperate to see my DB after all this time. The money is gone, but we checked yesterday and everything is cancellable, there will be a small charge for cancelling the flights.

Our NZ trip is fancy. We stay near my brother for a bit then we have a week at a luxury resort near some other friends we've not see for years, then back to near my db and then home. This is not the sort of holiday we have ever taken and the cost of it is making me uncomfortable, we could save a bit by changing resorts but more than half the cost is the flights.

So what would you do? Go on our fancy holiday, or get our money back? We'd probably spend half of it on a much cheaper but still fancy holiday closer to home...

I'd cancel and I'd think about a cheaper holiday with the rest paying off a chunk of my mortgate.

I really hope OP has been able to convince her DH. I feel really invested in this! I love travel, I love my family in Australia, and I might cry if OP cancels 😧

Oh Jeeze. Now we even have someone suggesting to use the money to pay off some of the mortgage!

Where is your soul @StickofVeg ? 😅

Me too 😂 minus the family in Australia part.

Like a PP said it's the things you don't do in life you regret - if you're in a financially decent position I don't see the point of just constantly putting off all the enjoyable things in life. You don't know how long you're going to get in life.

I do agree with another post though that if you feel it's too much then maybe cut down on some of the luxuries

I would cancel, put the money in premium bonds and go out there is 2 years. It’ll be the family holiday of a life time and you might win a million quid in the mean time!

I’ve been on lots of big holidays with my DC and they would always been more expensive if I’d have waited a few years.
If you slightly downgrade your accommodation you’ll probably save a few thousand.

You say that your usual holiday is to visit your parents in Cornwall? If so i presume that you live some distance from there. As your parents are paying for your brothers visit, will your brother be staying there with them? so if so, will you see much of your brother and his family when they are in the UK anyway?

Your children are the perfect age for a trip like this. Another 2-3 years and you’ll be too close to GCSE territory. Sounds like from your last post you are going though, enjoy every minute.

Life is so short, memories are so precious. We have amazing memories of our family holidays and save hard every month to pay for them, when our kids have left home I won’t ever think “I’m pleased I saved money/paid extra off the mortgage/have a perfect house”

Be part of the solution, not part of the problem www.csmonitor.com/Environment/2022/0418/Grounded-and-loving-it.-Can-giving-up-air-travel-bring-joy
www.theguardian.com/world/2021/aug/10/a-land-divided-by-extremes-what-the-ipcc-report-says-about-new-zealand-climate-change

Go! Spend less time with your brother, maybe cancel the fancy accommodation? New Zealand is AMAZING. You never know what will happen in the future, even in 2-3 years. Just do it.

Oh I would go! The experience of NZ is so much more than visiting your brother, plus surely it would be nice to see them in their own home? I say this as someone who lived away for a long time, the stress of trying to fit in seeing everyone when "back home" is immense, they will be far more relaxed hosting you and only you. Then you have a wonderful resort holiday too.

Yes, cancel. Absolutely no point in going if they are coming here.

I've traveled the world, been to over 40 countries and every continent- my favourite destination was the Galápagos Islands but my second fav by far was New Zealand! It's an incredible country and it wouldn't compare to anything else you would buy in Europe. And to have someone who knows the area take you to the best places, check out Bay of Islands, the Milford Sounds, Queens Town, Arthur's Pass. Even if you don't like nature- it's an incredible friendly country with some stunning beaches. And you get to see where your brother lives- that snippet of his life you will never get if he comes here.

Your brother lives in probably one of the best countries in the world- it would be a yes from me!

I'd definitely go. With the benefits of hindsight, the things I've regretted most in my life have been the things I didn't do. Go for it. Have a wonderful trip. Make memories. Your kids will love it too.

Soon you'll be at the stage when you can't go anywhere because DC are in GCSE years. And then A levels and then university ( and all that cosrs) and they're leaving home..
I'd leave it a year max.
This is more about your fear of risk I think. Covid has drawn in a lot of horizons. Or guilt at treating yourself.
Go. You will absolutely love it.
A lot of expensive AI holidays are a bit meh. This will be an absolute adventure

@ZED55JAX0

why?

I would go. If you are not going to be in debt then go. Life is for living and money is for spending. You really don't know what is round the corner. You may never get this chance again. Your children will have the best memories. Go!

Go! Your holiday hasn't changed. Your brother still going to be there. Then the bonus of seeing them all again soon after you get back!

New Zealand is stunning. I would keep the trip, but not waste any of it seeing family.

Because if it was booked to see them but they are coming over , hence I will see them!
then … I’d get the money back - for financial reasons - and then still book a much cheaper summer holiday, plus use the other cash for home improvements and other things that are needed and any extra towards another holiday or mini break
wouldn’t make me feel hard done by I’d be happy I was seeing my family plus happy I’d have money to spend on what we need

Because if it was booked to see them but they are coming over , hence I will see them!

then … I’d get the money back - for financial reasons - and then still book a much cheaper summer holiday, plus use the other cash for home improvements and other things that are needed and any extra towards another holiday or mini break
wouldn’t make me feel hard done by I’d be happy I was seeing my family plus happy I’d have money to spend on what we need

Seeing family is a waste? Seeing her brother's family home, his environment, understanding and having a mental picture of his and his wife and children's life so far away, is a waste?

@angela99999

absolutely no point? How about getting to see an amazing country?!

I think that this thread has given me a clear idea of who my people are on MN!

As for some...I just can't fathom...

High interest ISA? Do they still exist?