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Original poster

Should we cancel this expensive holiday??

393 replies

RNBrie · 26/11/2022 07:00

7 years ago, my brother and his wife moved to New Zealand. They've since had two children I've never met.

They had holidays booked back in the UK a couple of times but everything got cancelled because of covid.

I've never been able to afford to visit him as we have 3 DC, I could have afforded to go alone but didn't want to use up annual leave to go away without my family.

6 months ago I was given an unexpected large bonus from work and DH and I agreed we'd spend it all on a once in a lifetime trip to NZ. It's all booked and paid for, we go at Easter. It's costing a fortune, about the cost of a wedding for flights, accommodation, all in.

I've just found out that a month after we get back, my brother is coming here with his family. My parents are paying for it because they miss them too but don't want to travel there.

My DH and I are discussing cancelling our holiday because the main reason we booked was that I was just desperate to see my DB after all this time. The money is gone, but we checked yesterday and everything is cancellable, there will be a small charge for cancelling the flights.

Our NZ trip is fancy. We stay near my brother for a bit then we have a week at a luxury resort near some other friends we've not see for years, then back to near my db and then home. This is not the sort of holiday we have ever taken and the cost of it is making me uncomfortable, we could save a bit by changing resorts but more than half the cost is the flights.

So what would you do? Go on our fancy holiday, or get our money back? We'd probably spend half of it on a much cheaper but still fancy holiday closer to home...

OP posts:
ZenNudist · 26/11/2022 07:24

MudandParsnips · 26/11/2022 07:18

Go go go! How am I the only one on team dream holiday!? 😅 Assuming you wouldn't get the money back for the flights, that seems like a terrible waste to me. If I were you, I would change the itinerary possibly to spend less time with your brother and see more of the country. I would also downgrade the accomodation to make it as cheap as you're comfortable with. How old are your DC? There are loads of adventure options in NZ if they would like that? Also, how are they feeling about the trip? Factor how you would broach it with them and your reasons if they're old enough to be really excited about it. Have a great time either way!

This. Do it. Life is for living

Impatientwino · 26/11/2022 07:24

Given your stated financial stability I would still go. No-one knows what the future holds so go and have your trip of a lifetime. Your DC are at great ages for enjoying/appreciating that type of holiday as well.

VenusClapTrap · 26/11/2022 07:25

If you’re not strapped for cash, and it sounds like you’re not, then I think I’d go.

LeafHunter · 26/11/2022 07:26

I’d cancel, invest the money (even a chase account will give you 2% interest) and book again in a few years.

twinkleteas · 26/11/2022 07:26

I would 100% NOT cancel.

You don't know what might happen, your brother may not be able to make the trip back to the U.K. as planned and then you'll be back to square 1.

Going is about seeing your brother yes, but it's also as you put it a "once in a lifetime trip" for you and your kids. NZ is amazing, you'll have the most wonderful time and make life long memories. If you know you may see him again in the U.K. then maybe it'll give you more freedom when you're there to go off on day trips etc. Equally there'll be less pressure back in the U.K. to spend every moment with him when (if) they come.

Life is for living. If you're all well and can just about afford it right now then GO. Who knows if there'll ever be another opportunity? Surely covid has taught us how unpredictable life is. Go for it. There'll never be a perfect time. Enjoy your life ❤️

FiveGoMadInDorset · 26/11/2022 07:28

Go, seize the day, and see your friends.

dontknowwhatisbest · 26/11/2022 07:29

Forestflies1972 · 26/11/2022 07:06

I would cancel too. Save the money for a rainy day and with a bit of luck you'll be able to use I in a few years time when you're missing DB again.

This. I'd cancel for now, put the money in a savings account, and mentally plan to go in a couple of years.

radrado · 26/11/2022 07:30

Go! You’re really excited about it, the kids will love it, you’re visiting other friends too. When your brother is back over he may be quite busy visiting lots of people so you may not see as much of them as you think.

we’ve had exactly the same thing happen and we’re going anyway, Australia in our case. Grab the moment - if you can afford it

twinkleteas · 26/11/2022 07:30

RNBrie · 26/11/2022 07:22

Good question about how I feel about the holiday - I've never been so excited about anything. I've had to make myself stop talking about it because I don't want to show off/be boring.

I'm also really looking forward to seeing other friends. But they're talking about moving back here in another year or two.

The flights are cancellable, we can cancel for fee of £500. So we wouldn't get all our money back.

The fact you're so excited about it tells you what you need to know ❤️

rookiemere · 26/11/2022 07:33

I would still go, you never know what will happen, also as the DCs get older there will be exam revision so less able to travel.
So glad we did our NZ trip Easter 2019 with what happened after.

Letsbekindplease · 26/11/2022 07:35

If you aren’t that bothered about seeing NZ and more for seeing your brother then I would 100% cancel. Think what you could do with that money here.

Gh12345 · 26/11/2022 07:35

Go! It’s booked and paid for. Life’s so short

LindseyHoyleSpeaks · 26/11/2022 07:36

Just go! Life’s too short.

notdaddycool · 26/11/2022 07:38

Postpone, separate of the money so it doesn’t get spent in order things and go in 2 or 3 years. Everyone should have a holiday off a lifetime.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 26/11/2022 07:39

Go. Life is for living. You are looking forward to it. Go and enjoy every minute.

MarshaBradyo · 26/11/2022 07:39

Tough one. You sound excited but also looking at cancelling so it builds expectation against that high cost if you don’t.

notdaddycool · 26/11/2022 07:39

Also we have family in NZ, some of their meetings are in Bali etc. x

Original poster
RNBrie · 26/11/2022 07:39

DH has just read this which has made it clear he's in camp Cancel and I'm in camp Go.

It's £20k not £30k... and everything was good value because we booked it when the world was still coming out of lockdown. The fall in the pound and inflation has made everything more expensive so it would be a lot more if we booked now instead of 6 months ago (same flights are 20% more expensive if we were booking now) There's no guarantee we'd be able to rebook the same trip in 5 years with the same pot of money...

I'm talking myself into it, I'm aware of that 🤐

OP posts:
Remaker · 26/11/2022 07:39

A similar thing happened to me a few years ago. We’d booked to visit my DB1 who we’d not seen in several years. And as soon as we told DB2 we were going he decided he suddenly needed to pay for DB1 (just him not his family) to come here a month before we were going. Basically to gazump me as that’s the kind of person he is.

We cancelled and rebooked a different holiday, enjoyed time with DB1 at DB2’s expense (he ended up staying with us most of the time as he can’t stand DB2’s wife and it’s mutual). And then we went off on our alternative holiday and had a great time.

MarkBright · 26/11/2022 07:40

Given the ages of your children I'd go now, it's the perfect time. I found things got harder and harder once they were in secondary school.

Fannyann0 · 26/11/2022 07:40

How old are your children?

I would go personally but I make travelling a priority and I book well in advance because you don't know if we will be here tomorrow or if you will "get round to it".

There's no price on making memories abroad with your DC.

Travelling is so expensive right now go while you can! Perhaps your brother can change his dates?

Fuckitydoodah · 26/11/2022 07:40

Go!! It's all booked, you're looking forward to it and you can get by financially without the money. You don't know what could happen in a few years time.

New Zealand is a stunning country.

Waterfallstop · 26/11/2022 07:41

If you are excited about going to NZ as a holiday ( knowing people there is just a nice bonus) then go. It sounds like you haven't had any big family holidays before.

These kinds of trips can have a huge positive impact on kids- my dds still talk about hiking the grand canyon at dawn and it's been 4 years since they did it. We've prioritised holidays over house things and they are really well travelled - my dd goes to uni next year- things don't stay like this forever.

Crazypaving22 · 26/11/2022 07:42

I'd go! What an incredible experience.

New Zealand is truly beautiful. Your kids are just the right age!

I'm jealous! 😊

User478 · 26/11/2022 07:43

Go! £500 is a lot to lose on nothing!

The £ might crash even further a few years down the line and things will be even more expensive!