Should we cancel this expensive holiday??

[RNBrie]

7 years ago, my brother and his wife moved to New Zealand. They've since had two children I've never met.

They had holidays booked back in the UK a couple of times but everything got cancelled because of covid.

I've never been able to afford to visit him as we have 3 DC, I could have afforded to go alone but didn't want to use up annual leave to go away without my family.

6 months ago I was given an unexpected large bonus from work and DH and I agreed we'd spend it all on a once in a lifetime trip to NZ. It's all booked and paid for, we go at Easter. It's costing a fortune, about the cost of a wedding for flights, accommodation, all in.

I've just found out that a month after we get back, my brother is coming here with his family. My parents are paying for it because they miss them too but don't want to travel there.

My DH and I are discussing cancelling our holiday because the main reason we booked was that I was just desperate to see my DB after all this time. The money is gone, but we checked yesterday and everything is cancellable, there will be a small charge for cancelling the flights.

Our NZ trip is fancy. We stay near my brother for a bit then we have a week at a luxury resort near some other friends we've not see for years, then back to near my db and then home. This is not the sort of holiday we have ever taken and the cost of it is making me uncomfortable, we could save a bit by changing resorts but more than half the cost is the flights.

So what would you do? Go on our fancy holiday, or get our money back? We'd probably spend half of it on a much cheaper but still fancy holiday closer to home...

I'm sure some kiwis and those who live here will jump on me for this. But.

I live in NZ and honestly I wouldn't make the trip if it was me.

Yes its a beautiful country and there is a lot to see and do. There is so much of it that is beautiful and it would normally be an amazing trip. Having family and friends to visit is also lovely. The people are still as friendly as ever.

The country however is quite a shit show at the moment. Our reserve bank has admitted to engineering a recession (that our govt says we don't need).

Everything is hugely expensive and rising constantly. The exchange rate will work massively in your favour though.

Inflation is soaring and only going to get worse. NZ is expensive.

If you think food costs have gone up in the UK your first trip to the supermarket or store in NZ is going to be very traumatic, and will leave you wishing for UK prices. As a note too: Businesses such as cafes and restaurants also add on surcharges of 15-25% on things on public holidays such as easter so be prepared.

Covid is roaring, cases are insanely high for this stage of the pandemic. Our hospitals (and health system) are rivalling the NHS at the moment.

Our roads are a crap shoot not just with lack of maintenance but with the horrendous number of accidents. Ram raids (and blatant (and violent) group thefts in busy malls) are a daily (often more than daily) occurence. Gun violence is on the up, and more.

Accommodation in NZ has a not so hidden secret (though obviously not advertised in international media). A huge majority of our motels and even hotels are being used by the government as "temporary" (aka, sometimes more than a year) accomodation for people who have nowhere else to go. In some cities (including tourist centres) almost all of them are occupied either partly or in full by people in need, from all walks of life. As you can imagine, families being stuck in one room together for months or more can create very stressful environs.

Honestly, if you're coming to see family and friends and the sightseeing is a bonus, it would still be worth a trip. But NZ is not the amazing/stunning/etc country it once was. It's in a hell of a mess, and it's not the result of COVID. That didn't help, but it isn't the reason the country is in such a mess right now.

I’d definitely be wary of canceling and going next year because flights have more than doubled in price recently and accommodation costs have risen. The OP may find that it will be more like 30/40 thousand to re-book. It’s just insane at the moment. The parents may also be shocked at flight prices when they check and decide to delay.

I'm another who would cancel under the circumstances. You can see you brother and his family when they come here and save the money for other "memory making" trips in the future.

I’d go but then I prioritise travel so it depends what’s important to you. I love the memories of our amazing holidays visiting family. Money well spent in my mind.

@hazeleyednerd I could easily make the same case, based in actually LIVING in the UK, to tell tourists and remained not to come here. But that would be ridiculous. Visiting for a couple of weeks is entirely different from living here. Especially when the point is building family relationships. I find your post really odd if I'm honest.

Tourists and relatives

@Wherearemyspex

surely there won’t be any better memory making trips than this though!

I'd say go.
Enjoy exploring a bit more and you know you'll see your brother again in a few weeks.
If you don't go now you and your kids may never get to go to NZ

@RNBrie I think that's really unfair to criticise your parents. Why shouldn't they pay for DB to come and visit, if they don't feel they can travel to visit him?

I would still go. It would be a fabulous holiday whether you're visiting or not.

Did you not talk to your family before book?

Imagine how awkward it would be if you got there to suprise them and they had buggered of on holiday to Bali or something because you didnt say you where coming lol.

If you did tell them then how did it not come up before booking?

Seems like a case of terrible communication.

I'd cancel, but go to Australia instead!

I would cancel too - book somewhere else and have a fabulous family holiday somewhere else x

Goodness if you don’t need the money GO. It sounds amazing. It is also a much better reconnection when you meet up on two holidays in fairly short succession actually, really brings back the familiar sense of being family.

Just go it's already booked and paid for and the kids will be looking forward to it. You only live once

I would cancel this for now as he's coming over to the UK. But if you're all geared up for a break how about a lower budget winter holiday in the Canaries or somewhere else that's warm, for just now.
If you have loads of money and money isn't an issue you will have the luxury of going wherever you want whenever you want.
If that large bit of money is a nice cushion just now, I would have it in a savings account and enjoy the feeling of knowing it's there.

So many families are scattered all over world and its hard for folks but how nice you won't have to move a muscle and he's coming to you. Enjoy your family reunion.

I agree with this tbh. The dh shouldn’t be annoyed at op’s parents

I would cancel. Use some of the money for a "nice" holiday somewhere much closer to home, and put the rest away for a rainy day.

Did your parents not discuss with you, their plan to pay for DB to come this way? Was their plan an idea before or after you paid for your trip?

It's interesting how polarised the responses are here. That's clearly a give divide between those who are thrilled by travel and those who are not. And presumably those for whom connection with family is important, and those for whom it's not.

Realistically (and I know this from my own returning relatives), when your brother comes here he will have lots of people to visit, and you may not see as much of him as you think. But when you go there, your two families will be focused on each other, not old friends and more distant family members who'll all want a piece of your brother.

Rebooking in a couple of years makes no sense at all. It can only be more expensive. If you want to go, go now. Meanwhile, the bonus money is - depending on what you do with it - most likely going to be eroded by inflation.

I’d only be cancelling if I had no intention of booking at all in the foreseeable future.

Bloody hell, you only live once. Go, and enjoy the hell out of it. Life is for living, it's a once in a lifetime trip, go and enjoy your family on their home turf, see your friends, enjoy the luxury.
If you're comfortable and you're not in dire straights then don't feel guilty about these kinds of experiences.

Realistically (and I know this from my own returning relatives), when your brother comes here he will have lots of people to visit, and you may not see as much of him as you think. But when you go there, your two families will be focused on each other, not old friends and more distant family members who'll all want a piece of your brother

Excellent point.

Unless NZ was a place you really want to see and you’d particularly go there also to see your friends, I’d cancel. There are other places in the world I’d like to see and experience. Given the cost of flights, you may even be able to have more than one be all and end all vacation.

Agreed! Some people just really see travelling as a waste of money

Or they think every trip should be totally child orientated in order for it to be worth while eg Disney land