Should we cancel this expensive holiday??

[RNBrie]

7 years ago, my brother and his wife moved to New Zealand. They've since had two children I've never met.

They had holidays booked back in the UK a couple of times but everything got cancelled because of covid.

I've never been able to afford to visit him as we have 3 DC, I could have afforded to go alone but didn't want to use up annual leave to go away without my family.

6 months ago I was given an unexpected large bonus from work and DH and I agreed we'd spend it all on a once in a lifetime trip to NZ. It's all booked and paid for, we go at Easter. It's costing a fortune, about the cost of a wedding for flights, accommodation, all in.

I've just found out that a month after we get back, my brother is coming here with his family. My parents are paying for it because they miss them too but don't want to travel there.

My DH and I are discussing cancelling our holiday because the main reason we booked was that I was just desperate to see my DB after all this time. The money is gone, but we checked yesterday and everything is cancellable, there will be a small charge for cancelling the flights.

Our NZ trip is fancy. We stay near my brother for a bit then we have a week at a luxury resort near some other friends we've not see for years, then back to near my db and then home. This is not the sort of holiday we have ever taken and the cost of it is making me uncomfortable, we could save a bit by changing resorts but more than half the cost is the flights.

So what would you do? Go on our fancy holiday, or get our money back? We'd probably spend half of it on a much cheaper but still fancy holiday closer to home...

It sounds like you can afford it so go. Yes, logically it makes sense to postpone it so that you can spread out the time to see your brother however you don't know what's round the corner. Death, illness, another pandemic....Seize the chance whilst you have it.

I’d go. We had a big trip planned for when covid struck, and now life has happened and I’ve no idea if/when we’ll get another opportunity.

@hazeleyednerd
goodness, it’s a wonder you manage to get out your door with that catastrophic outlook.

The OP is coming here for a holiday not to upsticks and move permanently.

Not catastrophic. Realistic.

I live a perfectly normal life thank you. Just taking a lot more precautions these days, as do all other kiwis.

As the things I have mentioned occur in and around all of the things a tourist would do - drive, shop, accommodation then it is only fair to mention them. Why the hell wouldn't I?

This is a small country, population wise. OP will encounter these situations. Tourists cannot escape them, they're not immune.

Anyone reading any NZ news website will see exactly how prevalent they are. our Govt acknowledges the issues and confirms that it will take quite some time to resolve. People are quite literally dying as a result of the current situation. So yes, it's worth mentioning.

Its very clear reading this thread that the view of NZ as an idyllic place to visit is still very much entrenched, even though the reality is much different. It is a lovely country, and it has much to offer. It is also currently a shit show.

Completely understandable and I was really hurt at the time too. We ended up going a few years later to visit DB which was a great holiday.

NZ is lovely (I live in Australia and have been there several times) but it is expensive. And it’s a long flight of course. If you really want to do this holiday then yes go for it but otherwise why not take a cheaper holiday elsewhere and reconsider NZ in a few years.

Would New Zealand have been your choice for a splurge holiday if it wasn’t for your brother? If so, go ahead and enjoy. If not, cash it in and go to your real dream destination.
(Though one luxury resort is much like any other. You don’t need to travel that far.)

I would cancel but save the money to go maybe a year later.

I would go! You're looking forward to it. Go and make amazing memories know NZ!

Go. It was an unexpected bonus and you are comfortable financially. Go and enjoy.

One question - will your brother have much time to spend with you if you are there? If he works full time and is taking a chunk of time off the following month, you may well find he will be swamped by work in the run up. Just a thought. Can you ask him frankly if that might be the case?

(I'm speaking here as someone who travels back to another country to visit friends and family every couple of years, as has learnt to accept that other people's lives and jobs don't stop just because you've travelled a long way)

(Personally i would cancel but instantly book a replacement £10K holiday somewhere your family wants to go - your kids are a great age to travel with righ now and wont' be for long)

If secure financially, I’d go. It’ll be a completely different experience for you going to see your brother where he lives. You’ll get to see everything and understand when he discusses things like work, his local town, areas they visit etc. sounds like it’s all planned, and your kids surely will have an amazing once in a lifetime trip!

Have you thought of the environmental impact of your holiday? You will be pumping so much carbon into the air by taking these long haul flights. If you feel it’s essential then that’s one thing, but if you are ambivalent - why do something so harmful? You can make other choices, do other things for pleasure, and not contribute so much to the climate emergency.

Life is too short. If it’s all paid for then go. It’s not like you’ve used savings, it was an unexpected bonus from work which is assume you’ve worked hard for? Just go to NZ and enjoy the break because if you don’t go you’ll forever have regrets xxx

@RosePoppyClover the plane will be taking off with or without OP on it.

Go. You’ve arranged it, can afford it, have paid for it. Just go. Seen New Zealand and have bloody good time. The fact that your brother is coming to the UK soon after you return is almost beside the point. As for making plans to do it maybe in three years time, you know plans made so far ahead seldom come off. Just go, life’s too damned precarious not to do it when you have the opportunity.

Go now. It will get more difficult as dc get into secondary school years to block out time in future for such a trip. Does db want to come back just when it suits your parents, could they delay it a bit?

@Applecottagetree 'The plane would take off anyway' doesn't really work as an argument for avoiding responsibility for our own carbon emissions. If humanity is to stay within planetary boundaries and only use the amount of carbon we can afford to burn before climate reaches dangerous instability, everyone in the richer world is going to have to play our part - not by living in poverty, but by bringing down the amount we fly, the amount we consume, the amount of meat we eat, etc. System change is important, but so is personal change. None of us is perfect, but we all have a part to play. At the moment a minority of people are burning up so much more carbon than the global majority, and people like us - those in western Europe and US - need to step that back. I didn't say the OP should not go on her holiday because of this, but I don't see how this isn't a factor when we make these decisions now.

Why not enjoy a holiday of a lifetime, shame your brother is coming so soon after. But will you ever get a chance again to have such a holiday, and you get to meet up with your friends too.

I'd cancel and go in 2 year's time.

You only live once and never know whats round the corner. Life can change so quickly (I vouch for that watching a family member being taking slowly by a terminal illness that we would never imagined happening.).
Go go go enjoy your holiday no regrets.x

I would go, there’s something lovely about seeing where someone lives, when you call db or he comes over and talks about life at home you’ll know what it all looks like.

I would ABSOLUTELY still go, if your money situation is ok! Treat your brother’s visit here as bonus time with him? It also means less pressure to spend all of your time with him in NZ, as well as here, so you can all be more flexible with what you do.

It could be trip of a lifetime, before your kids have horrible exams getting in the way etc.

Wow, i'd still go! Fantastic opportunity and you can afford it, and you're excited about it. I think seeing your DB close together will be a lovely chance to be closer to him and his family. It's a really long time since you've seen him and may be a long time again. If I was excited I think I'd want to go ahead and just enjoy it.

I’d definitely cancel

Indeed why??? What fresh hell would that be?

im also Team Go!!