Tom Parker's widow and new boyfriend

[ImJustMadAboutSaffron]

The press have started reporting on Kelsey Parker dating a "convicted killer" 8 months after her husband Tom died. She has two very small children. Is it too soon, is it none of our business?

I wouldn't say it is advisable, but that's my own view only.

Why are they giving this woman air time. He was marginally famous not her!
im sick of hearing about her.

She seems incredibly vulnerable at the moment, no matter what people say. I hope she sees sense and ends the relationship.

Sadly, violent men prey on widows and other women who are vulnerable.

I disagree that my post was very cruel. I said 'some people'. And I stand by what I said. I know it's often said that people who move on quickly are proving what a happy marriage they had but with my experience of grief 6 months is very early days when you've truly loved someone.

She has a TV programme coming on shortly so she is making it public knowledge....normally I;d say it is no one's business but she is making it so by putting it out there on TV...

People will comment because they were very public with what was happening and she has now made a tv programme about it. Unfortunately if you put yourself out there like that, people will feel they can comment. She does seem to like attention and she’ll have to deal with the good and bad and all the judgement.

@MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake My husband died after a 2 year terminal illness. Nothing compared to the grief of living with someone you loved where you knew that the person would die, but you didn't know when and you were watching them deteriorate before your eyes. Your life is thrown into total disarray, your hopes and dreams are pulled from under your feet in a nano second. Try dealing with that, and with dependent children at the same time.

When my husband died my heart was broken but our lives together had ended long ago and my life was on hold caring for him. When he died I felt huge relief, like a weight had been lifted. My grief when he died and during his illness was overwhelming. When he died, I had a huge sadness and several years later I still do, but never did I feel the utter despair I felt during his illness.

I met my partner a year after my husband died, I miss my husband all the time, he is never far from my thoughts, every decision I make, especially for the children is done with him in mind, and what he would have done or wanted me to do. My heart breaks when I see him in children, when I do things we would have done together and that never gets easier.

But my partner has brought joy into my life, he has given me a new life and I absolutely adore him. My grief hasn't gone but it's part of my new life, it isn't my whole life.

As I have said before. Never judge until you've been there and experienced it.

I kind of agree with this. I don’t think I could date someone 6months after even if me and dp split never mind if he died. And the fact the kids have lost the dad in the process, this absolutely baffles me. But I do think the bf needs some slack cut. Just because 1 event led to an unfortunate circumstance does no make him a bad person or a thug unless he went out his way to hit the guy then that’s a different story

My Aunt dated a convicted killer.. it did not go well!

I wonder if the comments about is being too soon if the widower was the man.

No I'm not but two of my siblings have been. One of them could barely get out of bed after 6 months.

No one else's business

This, absolutely. My late best friend's widow met his now wife six months after my friend passed away from cancer. I don't doubt that he absolutely adored my friend, and I experienced first hand how absolutely devastated he was by her passing. But he'd had quite some time prior to that to begin to process the fact that she wasn't going to get better, and to begin his grieving process. He has now been in his current relationship for many years and I'm glad he found happiness again after so much suffering. I've read that widows of happy marriages can often meet a new partner much more quickly than we might expect because that first marriage was such a positive experience they're generally more hopeful about finding that again.

I know when my DH died of leukaemia aged 29 that I began losing him long before he died. Her grieving process has been going on for much longer than from the time he actually died. She lost her DH and the father of her children. Her future. She was not famous in herself and her grief when her husband was dying was made very public and was probably made more difficult.

I don't think anyone should be offering their opinions on it being "too fast" etc as she is the only one who can make that call. People very quick to make judgements on things when they don't know the whole story.

I know think she should be allowed to live her private life as a private citizen. Her new boyfriend obviously made a horrific decision to punch that man but he has served his time. Is he allowed to try and put his life back together?

I think it is so so wrong for it to be all over the papers as tabloid fodder.
I hope she is left alone to put her and her children's life back together however she sees fit.

Usually it seems that men move on sooner than women do.

It will be social care’s business that’s for sure. Nothing to do with anyone else and it’s unfair that it’s been reported in the media.

'There is no set "right time" after a person dies, if she feels ready then that's the right time for her'

Yes if the person feels ready fine I just alway feel sorry for the kids, for the dead person's family and parents. I would want my dh to be happy but honestly give it at least a year or preferably 2. Date someone discreetly, show some consideration for the other bereaved family members.

@olivehater someone I knew got into a serious relationship six months after his wife died (very sudden and unexpected). I think I was a bit shocked he moved on so soon because he'd been so in love with his late wife. He absolutely worshipped her. Difficult to understand but I think grief is different for everyone.

I think in Kelsey's situation though, the new man doesn't sound of a good character. That's why I think she is vulnerable.

So she's invading her own privacy then, or selling it.

I think it's nobody's business and the media should be ashamed of the articles they've written about it.

Just my 2p worth, I think everyone who is widowed will be different and try to do what is right for them, but it depends on the circumstances, especially when considering young children. Their welfare should be priority when considering a new relationship and how they are supported during that introduction, in my opinion.

I'm approaching the 2 year mark since my DW died from cancer. I still feel the loss everyday, my priority is our DC and always will be. I don't want to be alone for ever, I'm only mid 40s, but I worry about risking the wellbeing of my DC, they will always be priority for some time to come. I would like to go out for dinner or cinema with someone, but without any expectations/pressure, but I'm not sure if that's feasible.

I also recognise what others have said, it is strange, looking back, the grieving process starts to some extent when the terminal diagnosis is given. You continue to still have hope and 100% support your loved one, but the feeling of helplessness and the growing realisation of the future is scary, upsetting, but keep it deep down. But I think you also start that process of coming to terms with the situation.

I just really wish her and her children well and as long as they have a stable and can rebuild a happy life, then all power to them.

Just read the actual reports from when this guy was going through his court case. Not someone I'd want around my kids or grandkids or would want to be associated with myself. Had a similar thing happen in my family, relative lost his wife tragically and was left with 3 small, very confused, boys. Eight months later he was professing his love for another woman. This didn't go down well with the rest of the family who were all still mourning his late wife and helping look after his traumatised boys. Although, it would have been even worse if the new woman had been a convicted criminal who obviously had a temper on her and had caused someone's death by lashing out at them. Kelsey has opened herself up to public comment by putting herself in the public eye with the reality series she's doing.

This thread is in very bad taste.

I can't, and dont wish to judge a recently bereaved woman with two small children.

I don't think anyones journey with grief is for others to pick apart and say what they would and wouldn't do.

For what it's worth - it's hardly surprising that someone who has been through so much heartache will try to find comfort in whatever way they can.

The background is troubling whereas her dating more generally suggests she is in a place where she needs to move on - this wasn't a sudden death remember, grieving starts at diagnosis in my experience and he expressed his wish for her to meet someone else publicly.

Another possibility which is the case of my friend is that they were struggling already - my friend had actually separated from her dh 2 weeks before he died of a heart attack but only a handful of us know this, she hadn't told family at all, she was upset obviously as they had been together 15 years and he was the father of her kids but she did move on faster than is socially acceptable in her family's eyes.

Depends why he killed them i suppose 🤷🏼‍♀️😂