How did you decide how many DC to have?

[happyfeet5]

Thread out of pure nosey-ness. Not yet TTC but thinking about the future and how expensive things are getting, it seems that even comfortable families would have so much more resources to give to just one child!

I love the baby stage and the toddler stage but I can only imagine how costly it is to have a high school aged DC. Birthday parties, clothes, spending allowance the latest gadgets, holidays, money for school trips, tutoring if they need it. Is family size (ie 2 or 3 siblings growing up together) worth more in the long term than providing the best of the best opportunities and lifestyle for one DC?

Oops - possibly this was better on another board?

We planned on two but only managed to have one. There are definitely advantages to one, but I worry about him being alone later in life. I guess there’s no ideal number really.

Fertility fairy made the decision for us

Two and happy. I miss having a snuggly baby in my arms sometimes but I'm so bad at being pregnant and giving birth it would be a huge risk.

I didn't have a set number in mind. I just always felt broody for another up until I had four, then I felt done and got sterilised.

I had two with my exH, second DC massively unplanned! I would have another with current DP but he doesn't want one and my youngest is probably too old to start again. I guess I didn't have much of a choice of stopping tbh.

DH died when the first two DC were still in nappies, so that was that.

We had two. Three would have massively stretched us financially.

I'm on my second horrible pregnancy - so I'll be done at 2. One horrible pregnancy is a fluke, 2 is a pattern and I can't go through this a third time.

When I was pregnant. I hated every minute of it and decided I wouldn't go through it again.

@Babdoc so sorry. 💐

Two days after giving birth to number 2 I was sat in a&e with suspected deep vein thrombosis, crying my eyes out because baby hadn't slept a wink for the past 2 nights. At that point I knew I couldn't do it again.

We had two - one of each so we were lucky. We would never have three as we are both the middle of three and wouldn’t put a child in that position. we really wanted four but we realised we just couldn’t afford four. I loved being pregnant and would have been very happy to have more. When both DC were in school I went to uni and built a career in education.

Two was always the intention and two is what we have. I didn’t want any more and I don’t think I would have managed tbh.

I always wanted three, but DH wanted to stop at two, so we did. Still wistfully wonder what no.3 would've been like, but DD fervently wishes she was an only child, and DS would've made a terrible child, so probably best I didn't find out!

In our cases nature decided to limit us to 2. Although I would've liked 3.

I had a happy childhood and I am close to my only sibling so I wanted to replicate that I suppose. If I had endless money, free childcare and had started at 25 four would have been great . With what I know about climate change if I was starting out again either one or none!

That should say DS would've made a terrible MIDDLE child, he's not a terrible child!

I wanted 3. I was one of three and growing up I knew mostly families of 3 (60s child). We had agreed 3 and that I would work PT until they got to school age. Got married based on that understanding

we got to 2. I did 25 hrs per week .

our financial then circumstances changed in that I had to return to work full time as husband employment was increasing more tenuous (5 “redundancies” in 7 years but some as excuse get rid of him) .

I had to go back full time when youngest was only 3 and it was devastating for me. Husband (now ex) was not capable of properly looking after youngest on his non nursery days (husband, now ex, was subsequently diagnosed with severe and enduring mental illness) so he had to go into nursery full time - his development went backwards as he was split between 2 different nurseries

I couldn’t afford more maternity, more childcare or to have another child when I wouldn’t be able to spend time with them on a part time basis.

it took about 3 years to see the finality of it. 5 years before I did get rid of baby things.

my ex never returned to work. I was sole breadwinner for 20 years of our 30 year marriage so it was right thing to not have more children. Never felt like I had a choice though

Endometriosis made my decision for me. I wanted 3 or 4 but have one. Very lucky to have her though.

I always assumed I would have more than one, when I was TTC it was like a burning, all-consuming desire to have a baby but once I'd given birth it went away and I never felt that need to get pregnant again just to give my DC a sibling, so I didn't.

We were pretty sure we only wanted one, but honestly the world as it is today made us more certain. We just wanted to have enough to support her properly, whether that be through education or her future home and stability etc. I don't think money should be a key factor really, but my own parents struggled with money and went through some really tough times. Life is so expensive now that I'm aalways over worried about it and feel more comfortable with just our one to support.

We have 1. At the moment we have ruled out having another mainly for financial reasons. I’m also studying though and don’t want another career gap until my course is over. By then I’ll be nearly 36 and I don’t really want to be pregnant and have a newborn at that age.

We wanted two (always imagined growing up that I'd have two girls, close in age. They even had long dark hair)
I got them. I'd never really wanted a boy because I'd had brothers but wasn't close at all. I didn't really have much to do with boys growing up. I'd always been around girls.
Then DH and I DTD one single time in years unprotected and my perfect two girls ended up two perfect girls and a totally amazing, perfect 10 year old boy too! Turns out, boys are awesome. Money has never been an issue. Not that we have any money, just that we live within our means, and as long as we can meet the family's needs, the 'wants' come second.

I had my DN for a weekend and thought fuck this. That was pretty much the whole decision making process.

Then ended up with custody of them anyway.