How did you decide how many DC to have?

[happyfeet5]

Thread out of pure nosey-ness. Not yet TTC but thinking about the future and how expensive things are getting, it seems that even comfortable families would have so much more resources to give to just one child!

I love the baby stage and the toddler stage but I can only imagine how costly it is to have a high school aged DC. Birthday parties, clothes, spending allowance the latest gadgets, holidays, money for school trips, tutoring if they need it. Is family size (ie 2 or 3 siblings growing up together) worth more in the long term than providing the best of the best opportunities and lifestyle for one DC?

Never really bothered, & we always just assumed we wouldn't have any kids, but when thoughts of it began to enter my head I knew that it was a combination of emotions/hormones/peer pressure. I also knew that none of those are a good enough reason to have a child so the answer is that I have no children. Now, 15-20 years on, I am so relieved that I made that practical and pragmatic decision.

Point being, everyone is different!

Infertility has chosen for us, one if I’m blessed that my pregnancy now results in a live birth. I’d have loved to have two or three.

*although with the price of living now it would have had to be one anyway

Always wanted a large family but after two I don’t think we can afford more and that wouldn’t be fair to anyone so it’s not an option, added to the fact that I am surprisingly OK with just the two of them. I would need more help with another as I’m just not willing to put myself through so much again, and help costs even more money (unless you’re lucky and have a willing and healthy grandparent round the corner!).

Very happy with one ....just didn't want another ... for lots of reasons and have never regretted that decision. Even our DS (21) comments that we have a calm, quiet house after returning from 'busier' households with friends who have siblings .

A large one came.out of my vagina,it fucking killed so.i stuck to one dc.He is now 9

I initially wanted 3 and Dh wanted 2. I think he would’ve been persuadable but when I was pregnant with dc2 I got a really good job with a fair bit of travel and decided it would be really hard with a third dc. I didn’t want a big gap so we stopped there.

I never really knew. DH would have more I suspect. I'm done however. We have 3, all not planned. Particularly first and third. Middle was let's see what happens, so sort of planned. With 3 I learned that my standards could be dropped even lower if that was possible. How much washing there would be I under estimated, I should have shares in companies that sell washing powder. I am surprised at how entertaining I find them. I never thought my husband and I would be looking at each other stifling laughter because all 3 are engaged in funny debates and adult-like conversation or egging each other on. The youngest is the craziest and likes to put boxes on boxes and other irregular shaped items and try stand at the top. House has never looked so messy, or been so noisy but I love it. I now have special skills I didn't possess preDCs, like knowing what's going on behind me along with impressive risk assessment abilities. It's great.

I had emergency c-section with both dc, but the second one was more serious and scary. When we finally got him in our arms alive and safe, dh and i looked at each other teary and terrified and said never again..

We wanted 2. But infertility, miscarriage and multiple failed IVF cycles have meant we have none.

We had three and I know it sounds bad but I didn’t even think about the financial implications of this. We had a four bedroom house and when I was pregnant with our third DC we moved to a five bedroom house and bought a big people carrier car.

We have two. I love them dearly and they're very easy kids. If I'd known how taxing I would find full time motherhood I probably would have thought harder about a second. There's only a 2 year gap so we were still in the depths of babyhood when I was pregnant again (very much planned). They're now 4 and 6 and I'm hoping I can breathe a little more when the youngest starts school next year.
You couldn't pay me to have another.

Planned on having one - had DT’s!

Wanted two, managed to have one. Eternally grateful for him and the joy he brings.

I wanted 4. We were destined to have 3, with a huge age gap between 2 and 3.
In hindsight, if we had just had the 2, life would have been a whole lot easier (obviously love 3 to bits).

It will be three.
Had eldest young with ex and figured he would be an only child.
Then when relationship started with husband I wanted to have his child. Have a one year old with him and expecting number three.
I think if age gap between DC1 and DC2 we wouldn’t of even considered DC3. DC2 is wild and very opinionated so will definitely manage being the middle child.

Its interesting how the fertility fairy plays a roll with some people,my PIL's were a victim of the fertility fairy too;apparently when engaged they had planned 4 with the first two being being born 2 in 2 years.They started trying immediately after getting married and it took MIL nearly 11 months to conceive and they started trying again when SIL was 12 months old but my DH ended up being due a few days after his sisters 4th birthday.

I had 2 sons. 2nd was 10lb 13oz! That made my mind up.

Wanted 4, had 2 close together, it was hard work and I didn't fancy wiping arses for another five years so called it a day at 2 😄. Had money been no object I'd have absolutely gone for 4.

Age. Dc1 at 32, dc2 at 35 and dc3 at 41. Nature had the final say.

I always wanted kids but never had a set number. How they actually came about wasn't really planned. No 1, I was 20, on the pill, probably a bit lax about it and boom pregnant. 1.5 years later I had just got the coil in and within weeks pregnant again, that was a big surprise to me and my GP who had just put in the coil. An even bigger surprise was being told they were twins at my first scan. We had both sexes now so were done. I was diagnosed with pcos when I was 26, i was told pregnancy would be difficult, no big deal i was finished having babies. Never used contraception from then on but out of the blue, 8 years after being diagnosed with pcos and 11 years after my twins I was pregnant again. This time I got my tubes removed after delivery!!

So 4 but none were actually planned.

We have 3, but never really had the discussions of ‘how many do we want’ - for us, life just happened and the children came along with it. I love having 3DC (2 DD’s, 1 DS) but as they get older, eldest is now at secondary, I’m noting the costs mounting up.

sitting in the hospital bed after having DS2, I knew I’d be back with number 3. It just felt right and we were done.

We have two kids.

Health problem which got worse with every pregnancy, so didn’t want to risk a third.

Didn’t want to be outnumbered

Both are ND

I don’t enjoy parenting at all.

I was one of three and so was DH. I had three and I like it a lot. It was hard work when they were little bit it's delightful now they're teenagers.