In a cafe, and a woman has just complained (funny)

[QuestionableMouse]

She'd ordered a bacon sandwich and it's just been delivered to the table. She's now moaning because her bacon sandwich has a tiny crumb of black pudding on it. And she doesn't eat pork.

I feel for the poor staff having to explain which animal bacon comes from 😬

(And no, there's no vegan bacon on the menu so not a mix up!)

" GloomyDarkness · Today 12:10
@KettrickenSmiled you are right I should have recognised it was the Surrey banana causing all my issues and hot footed it to sunny countries and tried the many other varieties I'm vaguely aware exist but have never had pleasure of
eating yet. "

Well, it can't have been the now sadly extinct, Teesside Banana, may it R.I.P. 😥

That's much cuter than what my mum always says about sausages: "full of arseholes and noses"

It was a sketch on the "Royale Family". Ralph's gf was vegetarian and the Nanna asked if she could have the "thinly sliced ham".

In another life I might have thought this was made up. Unfortunately I worked in retail for years, and I've seen all sorts like this and worse!

🤣🤣🤣

Definitely an Oxford thing

I've been reading this tread over the last two days. Thank you, everyone: absolute solid gold 😂❤️

Precisely, that's what 'latte' means. I mean no particular offence to your SIL's friend but most English people are just too damn lazy to say 'cafe latte'. Yes, I have often been heard to mutter, "Not content with mucking up their own language, the English have to muck up Italian, too.".

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I did this in Rome once, asked for a "latte" without thinking. Waiter raised an eyebrow and asked me (in Italian) whether I'd like a cold milk or a warm milk, and I realised what an idiot I was and corrected it to "cafe latte" just in time. It's not laziness, just failure to engage brain before opening mouth.

Arguably, 'latte' in English means 'caffè latte' in Italian, in the same way that 'a panini' means 'un panino'. Latte and panini is what will be listed on most menus in the U.K. and no one expects a glass of milk and more than one sandwich if that's what they order.

I’m celiac can’t eat black pudding or greasy spoon bread … i wish I could!!!

Thanks OP for starting the thread.
Kept me entertained for ages this evening.

Shame there are some people unable to read the tone of a thread and just enjoy it, contribute, or stop reading it rather than making themselves look so daft.

I am the only one thinking of The Royle Family, where Anthony brings his vegetarian girlfriend home to meet the family at Christmas ? "Can she have wafer thin ham Barbara ?"

Am really craving a proper bacon sandwich now though. Will have to head out to the caff tomorrow.

I eat bacon although I shouldn't, it's not kosher, but I object to black pud because of all the blood 🤮

I had a short city break in Birmingham last week (I live the high life). There was a Wetherspoons close to the hotel, so it was an easy option on our first night when we were tired. They'd added a 'basic burger'(?) to their menu. I ordered that. I have a small appetite and rarely eat meat, but I'm not a vegetarian. I took the 'burger' bit out and ate the muffin with the courgette, onions and sauce. It suited me and the dog appreciated the meaty burger when we got home.

I used to live with a Jewish flatmate who happily ate pork sausages but flinched at the idea of bacon. He claimed that he was paranoid that if he ever ate bacon someone would run in, take a sneaky photo of him eating it and send it to his mum. Sausages had deniability.

Of course nowadays if confronted with proof of wrongdoing you could tell your mum it was vegan "fakon" and it's amazing how realistic they make it nowadays.

MN HQ surely a thus should be in classics!

I drink black coffee, I have always drunk black coffee.

The last time I was in Paris (a number of years age) I ordered, "un café" and the waiter asked me in English if I wanted milk.

I blame the tourists. It's bad enough ordering coffee in this country, specifying black and then being asked, "would you like cream and sugar with that?" and sometimes they still give you milk / cream.

Omigod @QuestionableMouse is a Level Vi MN ThreadWeaver! Prepare for fireballs!
Genuinely it's like every MN genius in funny has popped up I been cryyyiinnngg 😂

I don’t think people are being sneered at ! In this instance , have I missed the poster telling us the couple were of a different culture. Either way, bacon , unless otherwise highlighted as vegan/vegetarian, come from a bloody pig . End of.

I used to make my Mum's main meals. She wouldn't eat pork (don't know why but definitely not cultural issues) but loved ham & bacon!!

Oh, am late to the party but I feel for just about everyone here!!! the poor sandwich. All that effort and all that waste! I want a bacon sarnie now - with black pudding - a nice thought.😋

@mam0918

Depends a lot where you are in the country as to attitudes to vegetarians. I was up in Yorkshire supervising a group of kids for an org, we had 2 vegetarians, none of the local options (only 3) to where we were taking part in an activity had a vegetarian option on Sundays, the chef begrudgingly (I called over a week ahead) said he would pick up vegetarian gravy and they could have the vegetables - turned out they had cooked the potatoes in lard and the stuffing had sausage meat but one of the kitchen staff remembered they had vegetarian sausages in the freezer and did sausage and mash for them. I don't expect lots of options but one veggie option, doubling up as the vegan and gluten free if they like is polite at least, it's not france! (A whole other tale)

My DIL eats ham but not gammon - or the other way round!

oh dear god dont get me started on trying to order in France.

Now partly its due to me being incapable of grasping other languages (did French lessons for 3 years and still cant even understand the basics) but part is just why is France so 'strange'.

My DH will never let me live down the cheese egg incident, we where attempting to order and it was an impossible task but they had a glass display with salad in so we ordered by pointing, there was some CLEARLY boiled egg (never seen a more boiled egg looking thing in my life) so I go one. Until I bit into it and it was NOT egg.

We came to the conclusion between us it was an egg shaped white shiny ball of some wierd strong tasting cheese but my god it was an unexpected suprise.

Everywhere we went even trying to use translaters they seemed utterly baffled by the concept of being Vegetarian.

Oh France. Many an odd meal, even the odd insult by staff there. Plus lardons slipped into veggie meals. Or half a rotisseried chicken slapped on a plate of plain spaghetti.

funnily enough the worse veggie meal I ever (couldn’t) eat /ate abroad was in Italy, and the worst country for dining was America (not NY but other cities).