Inability to attend school due to anxiety

[SheWoreARaspberryBeret123]

Hoe do you persuade your anxious child to try going into school?

I'm at the end of my tether here 🙈

This resonates.

Not long after DS was diagnosed my DD started to struggle in school. When I applied for the EHCNA for her CAMHS contacted me and the guy who I spoke to had diagnosed my son. When DD was diagnosed they said it was obvious when they visited me about my son because she spent 30 minutes standing on her head on the sofa.

Autism is normal in my house. I expect I'm undiagnosed and my DH certainly is. Probably why we miss the signs!

Yes the lack of knowledge is frustrating.

You cant decide what they are entitled too and neither can she. She has herself already answered you directly to say she does not believe it is SEN. I am saying its therefore very unlikely it is so stop diverting her attention from other coping strategies which are proven to work in combating anxiety.

What does his day look like when he refuses school?

The only agenda is to ensure the child gets educated and to help get his needs met.

if there are no needs discovered in the assessment at least they will be moving forward with the right information.

Why wouldn't you want this parent to have all the help they can get.

in the meantime if the child can go to school, great! No one is suggesting he shouldn't.

Delaying it will have a long term impact on his education if he does have unmet needs.

if you think that's an 'agenda' then that's up to you. What it is is trying to support someone who is in the same place as I was 6 years ago.

OP’s DS is entitled to a suitable, full time education under s.19 of the Education Act 1996.

That is fact and proven to be of benefit, so no I won’t stop posting about it.

Newsflash- there are plenty of children and parents out there who do want to miss school. I am not saying that that is the case for the OP at all but to suggest that no child wants to miss school is laughable

The OP wouldn't be posting on here if that was the case!

And that will take at least 18 months so what the suggestions whilst they pursue that then. To just keep him out of school.

I wasn’t addressing the OP I was addressing your absurd blanket statement

@SheWoreARaspberryBeret123 something else i tried, which didn't work for us but might for you was a very basic form of exposure therapy.
So DS had to put his school uniform on for a few days. He didn't have to go anywhere but he had to wear it.
We tried going for a walk in the direction of school, planning to build up to getting closer and closer every day (not in uniform)
Then walking towards school in uniform but not going in.

Sadly we got half way to school not in uniform before a massive panic attack occurred and he's refused to try again.

Mind you if your DS is going in some days that might not help.

No, it wouldn’t take 18 months. Provision must be provided when it becomes clear 15 days will be missed. They days don’t need to be consecutive or have already been missed. And if the LA delay or refuse you can enforce provision via judicial review if necessary.

I wasn’t addressing the OP I was addressing your absurd blanket statement

It is VERY VERY unusual that a child doesn't want to be in school because they are naughty or lazy.

Perhaps in the teenage years but certainly not as young as 10.

Have you experience of EBSA or are you an educational psychologist / child behaviourist?

What evidence do you have that forcing an anxious child into school is going to be in their best interests either from an educational or mental health point of view?

Yes and you can bring an Local Government and Social Care Ombudsman complaint for missed education as well.

Which I unfortunately had to do.

The LA was ordered to compensate my child for missed education while they broke this law and to apologise to me for the stress they caused.

It does take that long you know it does. How did they compensate you exactly.

We had a LGO complaint upheld too.

s. 19 of the Education Act 1996. Alternative provision is a legal requirement after 15 days of absence.

They paid me a cheque and sent me a letter of apology.

I think you are trying to suggest I'm lying again.

Yet these determinations are frequent in the LGSO.

I think the problem is here that you think because your child has asd and and ehcp you know about this. You don't because you haven't experienced either EBSA or trying to put AP in place under s. 19.

No, it doesn’t take that long. An EHCP could well do if you have to appeal potentially more than once, but provision under s.19 of the Education Act 1996 doesn’t. JR is a relatively quicker resolution than SENDIST.

In our case the LGO was ordered to pay a couple of thousand (a small amount compared to some cases), as well as apologise.

I think you must be getting a bit confused because at no point have I used the words naughty or lazy.

There are myriad reasons why children don’t wish to attend or simply dont attend school, from social care issues, environmental factors like DA, bullying, parenting issues alongside old fashioned truanting. The reasons can be extremely complex and they can be really simple.

And at no point have I suggested in any way that a child be forced into school or that I think that would in any way be a good idea so I am not sure why you would ask me for evidence for something I am not advocating.

all I have done is try to establish some objective parameters to try and gather some further information regarding the position the OP is in.

Here is an example determination.

Not my child's as I don't want confidential information shared. These are all available on the internet.

www.lgo.org.uk/decisions/education/alternative-provision/19-000-063?fbclid=IwAR0r_DHFGw3XRw7_Vx0TsoMArt-pf0pyKbWDMwMj-bWGfYiAPrYYBK39ALE

Ridiculous a cheque how on earth do you need financial compensation. An apology maybe but that's gross. I will say it again the OP says she doesnt think her child had SEN. Do you think she is lying or are you saying you know better than her.

Just stick to her OP she wants help to get her anxious child into school what have you said that will help with that.

So you don't think my child should have been compensated for lost education due to failures of the LA to educate him?

That money was spent on tutors.

What is gross is your judgement. It's vile actually.

So you want to judge me and thatisnotmycar for giving our real life experience of dealing with anxious children in school?

What experience do you have of EBSA? Be specific.

Again why dont you answer the OP. What strategy have you given to help her anxious child into school that is what she asked for.

She DOESNT think her child has SEN