Inability to attend school due to anxiety

[SheWoreARaspberryBeret123]

Hoe do you persuade your anxious child to try going into school?

I'm at the end of my tether here 🙈

Anxiety that prevents school attendance due to EBSA is a disability and a SEN. The Equality Act defines a person as having a disability “if he or she has a physical or mental impairment and the impairment has a substantial and long-term adverse effect on his or her ability to carry out normal day-to-day activities”. Not being able to attend school full time for a prolonged period of time due to their mental impairment is covered by that.

You clearly need to read it again if you think anxiety to the point of EBSA isn’t a SEN. I am not twisting anything. Anxiety and depression are expectedly mentioned under SEMH needs in the SENCOP. This clearly isn’t a one off, OP says she is at the end of her tether. You don’t need a diagnosis or to have been assessed by an EP to be considered to have SEN.

Wow. I went away and this all kicked off didn't it?!

Not saying my kid has sen.
I want them to attend school!
I don't want to hear them crying every day. I don't want them feeling depressed.
I wish they didn't have the physical symptoms of anxiety. But they do.
School have been no help whatsoever.
I'm spending more than I can afford on therapy. Am also working on supporting their resilience.
They were extremely resilient up until returning to school after lockdown.
I'm trying my hardest. With no help from school.
Can't believe we live in a world where the best school can do is say, we'll send work home.
But we do.
So if you don't have anything helpful to say. Please refrain from commenting.

But something is causing OPs son to refuse to go to school. Getting to the root of that is important. Maybe he's been bullied and no one knows. Maybe he fell out with his friends. Maybe he's just scared of nothing in particular.

And thanks for calling me over dramatic. Weirdly enough I'm doing everything I can, including asking everyone and anyone who might be able to help to help. I haven't just decided to let him sit at home and do nothing for the rest of his life!

EBSA could be classed as an SEN. SEN isn't necessarily a disability.

I think it is important to remember that anxiety and depression are clinical, medical diagnosis. If a child has a medical diagnosis of these disorders, they may or may not have SEN.

Yes exactly this!
Thanks so much, I will check out the page.

One of the leading educational solicitors explicitly stating “anxiety can be a special educational need when it creates a barrier to a child or young person’s ability to engage in normal day-to-day activities.” Attending school is a normal day-to-day activity.

No but anxiety and depression are diagnosable conditions. Feeling anxious or feeling depressed are not the same as having a clinical diagnosis. SEMH takes many forms but in order for it do be identified at EBSA rather than not fancying going in one might well expect some clinical assessment to have taken place, not just the opinion of a parent.

I used to work with children in this situation, one thing we sometimes did was to create a ‘map’ of their evening/morning routine and they would colour code it to show which bits they found stressful, we would do the same with a map of their journey to school and a map of the school building to try to pin point areas to work on.
There is also a work book called ‘Anxiety Gremlin’ which you could try.

You don’t need a diagnosis to be considered to have SEN, or a disability for that matter.

School could:
Offer a part time timetable
Offer a quiet space to be
Someone to meet your child in the morning
A quiet routine to help them ease into the day
talk to your child to see what they feel might help
Deal with anything that might be upsetting your child such as a worry about a specific subject, person or behaviour

They can't do any of these things if your child does not attend full stop.
What do you think the school could do to help your child attend? What have you asked them to do?

Good idea. Will try both! 🙏

No you don’t but in the absence of a clinical diagnosis please explain how you know whether someone has an anxiety disorder (may well be an SEN) or whether someone is feeling anxious (a totally normal feeling to experience)

Thanks for the suggestions.
They do attend some days.
We have booked another meeting with school to try and ask for more help.
Thank you these are useful
Ideas to discuss with them.

Note they said anxiety, not feeling anxious!

Who decides if you have a disability then? Can I decide tomorrow that my child has problems with their learning and therefore they have a learning disability? The SENDCOP specifically says no I can't do this. I have been feeling anxious for the past few weeks. I am stressed and I would feel better at home. Can I diagnose myself with anxiety and depression and tell work I have a disability?

I absolutely sympathise OP. I know how stressful it is.

There's a book called 'A Better Day' by Dr Alex George. It's meant to be really good but my DS refused to even look at it. I've also got a list of resources at home that CAMHS sent me. I can send you them tomorrow if that's any help?

I'm very sure it's anxiety. Not SEN. But if writing a letter to head of children's services gets some help, I will absolutely do that.

That's so kind thank you 💛

Do they have a diagnosis of anxiety? If so that would be considered a SEN, or is it that you think they have anxiety?

What a pointless argument.

Making my child go to school wasnt the right thing because he needed to be in a special school and sending him was causing actual harm. He has a diagnosis of ptsd from the time i perservered with making him go to an unsuitable place and I feel very guilty about that. He doesnt refuse at all at his special school.

Other children might just need support to re-intergrate on a phased return If there is nothing fundamentally wrong. My experience is giving children more control over the pace of this helps. It can include things like visiting out of hours to chat with the teacher and see the classroom again, doing part time, arriving before everyone else, going to a nuture room not the main classroom, being given info about the lessons in advance. All sort of strategies.

You dont need to be diagnosed. Sorry what. So are you saying any child or adult for that matter can self diagnose apply government guidance due to this and basically decide what they are going to do with no need for anyone to actually validate that in anyway. I mean seriously. I want to give the OP constructive advice and another point of view. You are being obtuse and its frustrating and it wont be helpful.

2 of my daughters had extreme anxiety (or so we thought at the time) leading to school refusal . We ended up pulling both out to home educate (one at start of year 11 second one 3 months into year 7)
Both subsequently got diagnosed of asd and adhd so what we thought was extreme anxiety wasn’t. Home education was the best decision ever for us

Sometimes having a pass to take a breather in a quiet space can help too. Some children feel calmer in the school library so might have a pass to use this space at break and lunchtimes. There might also be a TA or person your dc feels comfortable with. They could maybe meet this person for a regular catch up. Eating lunch in the classroom with a friend rather than the dining hall. Going home for lunch is another idea that might help.

Semh is covered in sen so senco should help. Mh is a big ofsted focus at the mo.

It doesn’t really matter whether you call it feeling anxious or anxiety , if the anxiousness is to the point it prevents attendance it impairs with day to day functioning.