How independent are you?

[Alwaysonyonsn]

Could you (for example)

• Live by yourself?
• Travel alone?
• Drive a long distance?

Or are you very reliant on your partner?

I'm not sure how any of the things listed require a partner to do? They're just life.

All of these things. I lived alone for most of my twenties, including a year living in SE Asia, and I wouldn’t even think of driving long distance as an independent thing? It’s just something that has to be done occasionally

I can, and have done all of those things. My DD is single and also does all those things.

I can't think of a single thing I'd only be able to feel confident doing if someone else was with me. Certainly not the things you list

Unless you have additional needs or severe anxiety or mental health problems I’m not sure why an adult would not be able to do those things?

Why would you need a partner to do theses things with? 🤷🏼‍♀️ It’s 2022.

I am 60 and can/could do all of those things. I have been married for 37 years but my DH works away a lot and I am happy doing stuff by myself. Don't get me wrong, having company whilst travelling is lovely but it is certainly not something I need.

Yes, yes and yes. My husband enhances my life but I certainly don't need him in it to function.

There might be reasons why adults can't do these things e.g. anxiety about a long drive, but that wouldn't be related to independence, would it? I don't require anyone to come with me to do any of these things, but it is also nice, say to share driving. I've lived and traveled alone most of my twenties so this would be just standard stuff to me. I had a friend who wouldn't sleep in a house alone as she found it too spooky, she always had a boyfriend or stayed with friends or family and it didn't seem to unusually restrict her.

1. Yes - I lived alone until I was 35
2. Yes - go on holiday by myself at least once a year
3. Yes - all the time

I do need my DH for some stuff though like DIY and fixing things as I am shite at those.

And I also need his money as I couldn't afford to pay the mortgage on my salary alone.

And I love him.

I've never lived properly alone as I couldn't afford it and lived in shared houses when I was young - I dream of it now I'm old and have teenagers and a husband! A flat to myself would be bliss.

I've done the other 2 things though.

Yes, absolutely.

The only caveat is that I couldn't live in my current lifestyle on my income alone - but if DH were suddenly not around, I could make adjustments which would eventually make things work.

I am ashamed to say I am quite reliant on my partner
I could do all of these things but I would prefer to do them with him

Of course I can! In my 60s and do all of those.

Yes of course. I can also deal with tradespeople by myself, wire a plug, top up the oil on my car etc etc etc.

If I don't know how to do something YouTube is my friend. If it's something that just needs a bit of bravery to go outside my comfort zone I just woman up and get on with it.

I live alone and do the other two things fairly regularly. I feel safer alone than with others much of the time. It hasn't been by choice unfortunately, I've just never settled with anybody.

I’ve never lived alone, but if DH were to die, I can’t see myself getting into another relationship. Or at least, I definitely don’t see myself co-habiting with anyone.

I haven’t traveled alone, but I have gone on holiday with friends without him.

I drive long distance without him easily and relatively frequently.

I see all of this things are normal, and wouldn’t view someone who does them as ‘independent’.

I would view someone who couldn't do them as very peculiar indeed.

I used to be able to do all these things, but since becoming physically disabled and having my driving licence revoked on health grounds, I can no longer do any of them.
What I wouldn’t give to be able to jump in the car and go wherever I wanted!

I’d currently struggle to live alone, but, that’s because I’m not physically able to do a lot of things just now.

Other than that, yes. I might prefer to have company, but I could do all 3 of those things alone.

I can and have done all of those things.

Yes, can do all of the above. I do have a DH but he's abroad every week and our families live over 150 miles away so I have to do everything myself.

Yes, I can do all those things. The only thing I need my partner to do for me is go up a ladder but that is because I have vertigo.

Well, yes. I also moved abroad on my own. DP doesn't drive; I do all the driving (incl abroad whilst on holiday/visiting family).

I hope to instil independence in my DD. You have to be able to look after yourself. My parents are divorced; my DM is in her 60s and she can do all of your list; as did my late grandmother.

I worked with the public in a previous job and there were people (virtually always women) who were recently or less-recently widowed who couldn't even change batteries in their remote themselves, having always relied on their late husbands to do so.

Of course - have done all & still do 2 out of 3. There is nothing bad about doing things alone.

I've never lived with anyone so yes! And happy to drive long distances