How independent are you?

[Alwaysonyonsn]

Could you (for example)

• Live by yourself?
• Travel alone?
• Drive a long distance?

Or are you very reliant on your partner?

I would see all of those things as perfectly normal things to do as an adult and not in any way reliant on a partner.

I lived by myself for years in my 20s, and have travelled loads of places alone, all over the world.

It wouldn’t even consider driving anywhere to be something I’d need help with. The company can be nice but it’s not a necessity.

Yes, I could do all those things.

My mother however could not, she'd struggle with 2 or even 3 I sadly suspect. I wouldn't call her independent

Yes of course I can do all those things independently. I can't think of anything I'd REQUIRE my partner to do with me.

The first 2 no problem.
I’m not a very confident driver and prefer to stay local ish. If I were travelling a long way I would go by train if possible. I am happy within about an hour of home.

Im. Now married. But yes to all 3 previously
Still very independent though in other ways

I was just giving examples, so feel free to add your own.

And yes I know someone who would move back in with her parents if her and her partner split (financially she could afford to live alone)

Some people would decide not to ever travel rather than travel alone.

Equally some would rely on their partners to do the driving.

Yes I could do all of the above, financially number 1 maybe difficult as we are married and finances completely entwined, but practically it wouldn't be an issue. I am not sure DH could travel without me. We both regularly make long distance journeys.

I do have friends who wont make long journeys alone. I am not sure they rely on a partner as such though. Just wont do it alone.

I am very independent as a person, but we are a partnership as a marriage.

I understand what you're asking....

When I was in my 20s and married, I couldn't do any of those things alone. I didn't drive at all for a start, so I was very reliant on my partner.

Many years later, divorced and with adult children who have left home, I am extremely independent. I live alone and love it, much better than when I had to share my house with anyone! I relish the freedom living alone brings. I have travelled the world entirely on my own, to some very extreme places (jungles, deserts, wild mountain ranges) and in some very dodgy places (mostly the middle east where I had to learn fast how to deal with the culture as a woman on my own).

I'm not fazed by driving long distances...I eventually learned to drive in my 30s and enjoy it, having done the advanced driving course too. I'm happy to drive for hours on the motorway, have no problem with being out in the dark at 3am or driving through thick snow or freezing fog at night.

I can also put up shelves, wallpaper, operate an electric drill, do my own accounts and have held several career posts..... yes, I consider myself very independent indeed. Much healthier for a woman, in my opinion.

Of course - I love travelling and doing things on my own, despite being married. I have never actually lived alone but think I'd be fine with it.

I haven’t lived alone and don’t really want to but have travelled alone and driven long distance many times. I don’t mind being alone I just dint like sleeping alone in the house. To be honest a retired firmed of mine had lodgers which seems ideal plus has a very comfortable retirement because of the extra money.

1. was with DP for 12 years before he moved in.
2. travelled to Australia to see my sister, DP stayed at home
3. Do all the long distance driving..I'm a better driver and he's a better passenger

Not sure what being independent has to do with any of that, it's just normal.

I understand what you are asking too.

I've been with my husband since I was 18 so never been on my own.

I think I could be totally independent if I wanted. Most things wouldn't be an issue for a second. The only area where I've left things totally to him are finances. I do bills etc but he does savings etc. I could do it if I had to but I'd have to swot up and I wouldn't like to do it.
We have very clear areas of responsibility.

I work with a woman who is actually like this. She can't even turn on the sky box without the assistance of her husband. And yes she is equally incompetent in work. 🙄

Well, I'm barred from driving due to a visual processing disorder, but the other two, no problem. I live alone right now and I love it. Travelled India alone in my 20s and had the time of my life. Travelling alone is great.

I'm very independent. Regularly drive 2hrs and more to have days out on my own. I've never lived alone but happily would.

I go to the cinema alone, can change the oil and filter on my car, manage 80% of DIY by myself

I'm more then happy to drive, I watched both my grandmother's stop driving when they hit 50ish and let their husbands drive, husbands who unfortunately passed away first leaving them helpless. They wouldn't drive again and relied on others. My mum keeps hinting she'd like to stop driving but I'm very firm with her that she must keep it up

I love being alone, I also love and adore my husband but if he's busy working I'm not going to miss out on life

Yes. I've lived alone and regularly drive long distances. I've done it in foreign countries too. I've travelled a lot but not totally by myself. I could easily though.

Exceptionally independent. The only things I 'need' DH for are DIY type jobs, and that's very much because I'm lazy, not incapable!

The only thing I actually 'need' my partner for is heavy lifting and sometimes opening bottles and jars. Everything else I'm perfectly capable of doing by myself.

No partner, own house, job, pension, car. Almost no assistance from ds's dad.

But not as independent as I thought. I was poorly last winter and dsis had to come and stay twice to get ds to school and me to hosp. 🙁

I went from living at home to living with my husband and I don't drive so no to those two but have no qualms travelling by myself

I'm 31, with a partner of 3 years.

1. I've lived with roommates for 7 years. Been living alone for the past 3, though my partner sleeps over 3-4 nights a week. Perfectly capable to support myself and handle all life admin by myself.

1. Before I met him I was single for a few years and did the occasional city break alone. Loved it and found travelling alone very liberating and empowering. I actually might miss it a bit if I'm honest.

1. I have a license but I don't drive. I don't rely on him to drive me around either. I use public transport for work most of the time. I managed just fine before him, so i wouldn't say i depend on him.

I was single for most of my early 20s so I grew to be quite self-reliant and i'm quite grateful for that.

I have loved by myself for 25 years
Had my DS alone
Just got back from the USA alone
Drive to distant places

I worry I'm so independent I repel people

I have lived! Not loved

Without my lady’s maid, smelling salts and coachman, you mean?

Yes, I can't imagine not doing those things.

Love my husband but I'd never be dependent on him to do anything!