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How the upper middle class live

363 replies

LisaJool · 04/11/2022 22:17

Apologies for yet another class thread but I find this fascinating. Off the back of a thread I started watching a TV series about British aristos and their stately homes. This lead to other YouTube videos and a podcast.
Some observations I made:

  1. The women all have great bone structure with the infamous MN UMC swooshy hair.
  1. A lot of "sleepless nights" and hand wringing about how they can maintain their homes, which they are "custodians" of. Many have had to do tours/homemade jams/souvenirs to try to bring in extra money. But, their dc go to private schools - surely the first thing you'd do is remove them from that to save money or get rid of the ponies?
  1. Re decor, lots of chintz like you'd expect in lovely formal rooms but their kitchens look like something Kim and Aggie need to tackle. Clutter covering all available workspace, books, riding gear, pet bowls etc, lots of knick knacks. Someone on another thread stated that the 'clutter free' movement is a class thing, with it being a LMC to working class thing. Not sure if this is true but interesting all the same.

I don't know anyone who is truly UMC as in old money or landed gentry types. For those who are acquainted, what are they like and how do they live?

OP posts:
Mirabai · 05/11/2022 18:11

It’s highly moot what she meant and as she’s not here to clarify it’s very odd to bring it up and keep going on about it.

It’s well known that there was much support for the Nazis among the German UC, not least because the Nazis were sympathetic to the restoration of titles abolished after the revolution and abdication of Kaiser Wilhelm II.

paintitallover · 05/11/2022 18:15

Hysterical thread!

vera99 · 05/11/2022 18:22

I didn't know that trout lips were UC but Yanks with their new trashy money think everything goes. They are wrong. School of bloody affluence my arse or aka gold diggers training school. Patron saint Princess Meghan of Suits.

vera99 · 05/11/2022 18:27

Crikey that's 9 minutes of my life I'm not getting back Melania Trump's School of Grasping.

Andante57 · 05/11/2022 18:31

It’s highly moot what she meant and as she’s not here to clarify it’s very odd to bring it up and keep going on about it.

It’s not moot and you are also going on about it - I’m not sure why you are so keen to prove me wrong.
When questioned the poster replied ‘I think you have been given enough evidence that there was a significant body of people who did support fascism. Was this most? Or many? Or have we got to be corrector than correct and only name the known fascists, namely the Duke of Windsor and Mosley because the evidence for them is too clear cut to deny?’

No mention of the German or any other European aristocracy.

Mirabai · 05/11/2022 18:47

It’s not moot and you are also going on about it - I’m not sure why you are so keen to prove me wrong.

Seriously? You brought up random posts from a poster who isn’t even here. You’d been going on about it for a while before I even responded - which was clearly a mistake - it has only encouraged you.

Andante57 · 05/11/2022 19:17

it has only encouraged you.

You said that the poster was referring to the German aristocracy and I answered that she wasn’t.
Why are you so keen to prove me wrong?

Isthisforeal · 05/11/2022 21:18

Anyhoo.

UC: give utilitarian garden parties with steel bands. Often ask for favours. Real estate as the heaviest chore. Ring of steel.

UMC: Unexciting everyday clothes, scrub up really well. Do good things. Understates everything. Know everyone.

Mirabai · 05/11/2022 21:24

Why are you so keen to prove me wrong?

No-one has any idea what’s right or wrong in an argument taking place in your head.

vera99 · 05/11/2022 21:24

Isthisforeal · 05/11/2022 21:18

Anyhoo.

UC: give utilitarian garden parties with steel bands. Often ask for favours. Real estate as the heaviest chore. Ring of steel.

UMC: Unexciting everyday clothes, scrub up really well. Do good things. Understates everything. Know everyone.

MC spend far too much time on MN discussing class whilst not doing the legwork to rise higher in class. Time for some homework.

Mirabai · 05/11/2022 21:24

Not sure about the steel bands…

Energeticenoch · 05/11/2022 21:33

SavouryPancake · 05/11/2022 14:34

I recently joined a support group, mentioned I was having treatment, and had two different women asking whether I’d had this privately or NHS?

Is this a regular normal question? I always assume NHS unless someone states otherwise.

Totally normal. We tend to assume private unless emergency or the person is very old and premiums are too expensive and even then; anything routine just paid for (cataracts, cortisone injections, scans)

Isthisforeal · 05/11/2022 21:36

Mirabai · 05/11/2022 21:24

Not sure about the steel bands…

Well, I am.

antelopevalley · 05/11/2022 21:36

@Energeticenoch You must be very rich

Energeticenoch · 05/11/2022 21:44

antelopevalley · 05/11/2022 21:36

@Energeticenoch You must be very rich

Not in the slightest. For various reasons I currently pay for our health insurance but it has always been a work benefit. I grew up with us having health insurance and as kids it was always used for everything other than GP appointments. Our friends are all professionals and private health care for family comes with most non public sector jobs: those who don’t get it pay for it and I genuInely only have 1 friend who doesn’t have it and her husband is a consultant and there seems to be an unwritten rule that consultants all do each other favours and see each other and their families without charge immediately.

when my husband had cancer it didn’t occur to use the NHS as we had private cover felt it would give us more control of the situation and put together the team we wantes

vera99 · 05/11/2022 22:14

I wouldn't blame anyone for having private but this is a horrendous story about a retired QC with cancer having ever-increasing premiums even though he had insurance all his life. It went from 7k a year to £163 k.

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/bupa-doubles-premium-of-kc-fighting-cancer-to-163-000-9dq02n8jk

Bupa doubles premium of KC fighting cancer to £163,000
Glen Keogh
Sunday October 23 2022, 12.01am BST, The Sunday Times

After James Guthrie KC fell ill, he received a sliver of comfort through the post when Bupa, his private medical insurers, sent a pamphlet entitled Supporting You through Cancer.
“At a time when you’ll already have more than enough on your mind, we understand that the last thing you want to worry about is money,” it read.
Guthrie, 72, has been a customer for more than 20 years. For peace of mind he always made sure his insurance, which also covers his wife, Lu, a calligrapher, was fully comprehensive and included “cancer cover”.
Before he got cancer, he had been paying about £7,000 a year. Since getting bowel cancer in 2017, however, his premium has gone up — and up. It almost doubled from about £42,000 in 2020 to almost £82,000 last year, a bill that arrived when he was seriously ill and receiving chemotherapy.
Last month, a bill arrived for £163,639. “This seems to miss the point of insurance,” said Guthrie, whose older brother is Lord Guthrie of Craigiebank, the former chief of the defence staff.
“It seems to me outrageous that Bupa can make money from people who are perfectly well but when they have the misfortune to become ill they either want to get rid of them or charge a premium they can’t possibly afford, so they can avoid taking responsibility.”
Guthrie is one of thousands of people experiencing rising costs for private medical insurance, owing to increases in medical costs; inflation; energy prices; higher insurance premium tax [IPT]; and a shortage of doctors and nurses. His case serves to highlight the gamble patients make when opting to “go private” with insurers trying to recoup the cost of expensive medical procedures from the patients themselves.
Martyn James, a consumer champion, said: “There is an assumption [health insurance] is a little bit like a pension, that this kind of policy is frontloaded. They get all your money when you aren’t making claims and then when you reach your sixties and seventies, and you need cover, they will pay out.
“This is a salutary reminder that that’s not always the case.”
Guthrie, who was called to the Bar in 1975 and took silk almost 30 years ago, is far from naive. He has represented foreign governments in the judicial committee of the privy council; advocated for prisoners on death row; is a trustee of the Death Penalty Project and until last year sat as a recorder determining criminal and civil cases. For eight years, he was also head of 3 Hare Court chambers in Temple, central London.
When his cancer was diagnosed in 2017, he contacted Bupa and received private treatment including chemotherapy and radiotherapy, which was successful. In his view, he was taking the burden off the NHS.

In 2019, the cancer was found to have metastasised and small tumours were discovered during a check-up. He contacted Bupa again and had further treatment, including pioneering CyberKnife radiotherapy, which can target tumours with pinpoint accuracy. Since that treatment, the cancer has again returned and spread further, to his lungs and liver.
“They increased the premium at a time when I was over a barrel,” Guthrie said. “You haven’t got time to shop around when you are in the middle of chemotherapy and nor do you want to change your medical team.
“In the end I paid, because I had the money available, just, and I was not up to much of a struggle.”
Bupa said it had supported him in recent years “when claims have been significantly higher than premiums”. From December 1, 2018 to November last year, Bupa said Guthrie had claims totalling £193,248. Over the same time he paid in £150,127.
Guthrie, who lives in Fulham, southwest London, and has two adult children, said: “I appreciate that my treatment is expensive. In any case, it seems to me that this is missing the point of insurance. The Bupa model seems to be that they are happy to collect premiums at a reasonable rate from persons who are not seriously ill — but when they do have that misfortune, their safety net is taken away, and they seek to recover as much as they can.
“I wonder how many new members of the scheme realise that if they get long-term cancer they may face an annual premium in six figures?”
As NHS waiting lists grow, the number of people seeking private medical treatment is rising. Between January and March, there were almost 200,000 private patient admissions, the second highest rate since 2019, according to the Private Healthcare Information Network.
James Daley, of the consumer website Fairer Finance, said premiums that were reviewed every year allowed insurers to “have their cake and eat it”.
“Once you are sick, and they know you are sick, they price you at a level that will make insurance unaffordable. I think that’s the opposite of what insurance is meant to be,” he said. “It’s absolutely not ok to price prohibitively because you don’t want someone on your books.”
David Vickery, of Cavendish Online, an independent insurance broker, said: “His premiums for however long he has had that policy will increase, that’s the nature. But to double each year — it’s unheard of. You shouldn’t be adversely penalised for using a policy you have had for 20 years.”
Guthrie has not renewed with Bupa and is on an immunotherapy trial that is supporting his treatment.
A Bupa spokesman said: “Our business cover pricing is based on the likelihood of future claims, along with rising medical treatment costs such as the latest cancer drugs. We offer a range of cover options and policies. We’re keen to talk to Mr Guthrie to explore any additional information that will allow us to revise our assessment of his business [his policy was a business one, covering only him and his wife] and discuss potential options to reduce its premiums.”

Energeticenoch · 05/11/2022 22:29

Well that is just insane. It’s not usual, even with cancer treatment. Most policies will cover treatment in full and ongoing and whilst premiums increase they don’t go crazy like that and certainly company policies are set amount, my husbands treatment was around £200k and we paid no more than £150 a month for top level cover and paid nothing out of our own pockets

SavouryPancake · 05/11/2022 22:30

Isthisforeal · 05/11/2022 15:29

Rude! (said Miranda style)
But really, yes, very, very rude. Unbelievably inappropriate.

All the best OP, I hope you're doing well!

Thank you, sweetie.

Isthisforeal · 05/11/2022 22:34

@vera Is health insurance WC, LMC, MC, UMC or UC?

Answerthedoor · 05/11/2022 22:52

Energeticenoch · 05/11/2022 22:29

Well that is just insane. It’s not usual, even with cancer treatment. Most policies will cover treatment in full and ongoing and whilst premiums increase they don’t go crazy like that and certainly company policies are set amount, my husbands treatment was around £200k and we paid no more than £150 a month for top level cover and paid nothing out of our own pockets

That’s exactly what happened with my dog - the insurance kept paying for his long term condition but the premium rose to meet the costs - it’s a bit of a scam .

vera99 · 05/11/2022 22:52

Isthisforeal · 05/11/2022 22:34

@vera Is health insurance WC, LMC, MC, UMC or UC?

Got to be MC ++ which is a tad under UMC. UC won't have insurance as they can always settle the bill in full out of liquid assets.

Taradiddled · 05/11/2022 22:59

I’m unable to get past the steel bands at UC garden parties.

EconomyClassRockstar · 05/11/2022 23:02

I was once a nanny for a very aristo family and it's not true that they eat fish fingers. I got yelled at to the point I hid in the bathroom crying, for putting carrots in spaghetti bolognaise! Because "Nanny wouldn't do that!!!"

vera99 · 05/11/2022 23:09

Taradiddled · 05/11/2022 22:59

I’m unable to get past the steel bands at UC garden parties.

Johnson had eco-friendly jerk chicken at his wedding bash - it's a thing but the stately home they are partying in was most probably built on the filthy proceeds of slavery.

The South African street food menu is set to include lime and mint-infused pineapple, skin-on fries, cherry wood-smoked pork with honey and mustard slaw, and Aberdeen Angus ox cheeks.
South Africa's answer to the barbecue, a braai is typically the setting for an hours-long cookout in which all are welcome.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11063633/Now-Partyplate-Boris-Carries-wedding-guests-feast-African-style-barbecue.html

LisaJool · 05/11/2022 23:24

@EconomyClassRockstar what did they eat?

OP posts:
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