My eldest DS has said he does not want kids. He is 22 now but has been saying it since he was about 15. He is worried about the financial responsibility and also the lifestyle limitations children bring .
He has seen family and family friends over the years divorce and the man always ends up back at his mums or broke living in a tiny flat ,largely due to having children and the financial implications of having children.
However, and more importantly i think, I am divorced and always had my own money but both he and my youngest ( late teen) have seen me literally cleaned out when i divorced their Dad who had no savings, no property of his own when we met. I left the marriage significantly worse off than when i entered it and he left significantly better off . Both my sons have seen this and feel it unfair. They now equate marriage and then kids, with financial suicide if you have assets and money.
I have ring fenced all my assets now for my sons, in the event of my death and their possible future marriages. Any inheritance cannot be touched by anyone other than my sons/ and or their children, if any.
My sons really do want not want to marry or have children at this point. I suspect this is largely due to how they see my monies ( earned well before i met exDh) were handed over and also the level of parenting that is required to raise another human. The two go very much in hand. As young adults they have now worked out for themselves that i have sacrificed a lot of myself, raising them. I have done so willingly , both planned and very much loved, and continue to do so with love as i love them and want to afford them all my love, dedication and nuture and every financial opportunity i can provide. As a result, they see now ( as young men) my life has been in somewhat "suspended animation" being a Mum to them. . As young adults they now see i have been alone in this. I did not want another "Dad" here, this is their home and i have never conducted any relationships of a serious nature, only when boys at their Dad's. The boys see me as making decisions for my own happiness ( lonely but happy) based on what has been right for them. They have seen me work to get back all the monies i lost ( had to hand over) by virtue of being married so i stay single and will never marry again- financial death wish. They now, do not want the same restrictions placed on them in their futures. This seems to have been a very salutary lesson for them, albeit in reverse.
They may have children in time but i suspect they will never marry. I suspect they may never have kids either of them . Times have changed, women are more independent and men ( sons ) are expecting women to be more financially independent as their own mothers have been . My son's both feel presently that children bring restrictions to life ( which they do) and a financial commitment ( which they do and accept) but, at present neither of my boys want this life long level of commitment. They are busy building carers, spending their money, being happy and living their best lives.
I love my sons very very much, they are my world, would i be happy if i did not have them, yes. Would my life be different now , yes . Better? Probably, for me, yes. I would have had a different life, equally fulfilling, with travel, a life partner, just me and him and each other and a load of money to do things. No tiredness, no kids in the house , no see you in 3 weeks time when kids away, I am happy now as a Mum but, equally i could have been happy without children. The last 23 yrs have not been easy.