Lo! The ultimate cheeky fucker has been found

[learieonthewildmoor]

A friend of mine died suddenly a few weeks ago. He had separated from his wife last year and had made a will.
He had been invited to a wedding next year. The mother of the bride texted his ex-wife asking that money from his estate be used to buy a gift for the couple.

Everyone who knew and loved him is still reeling from his death. But the important thing for this woman is her daughter still gets a gift from him. How in the name of all that is good and holy would you ask that?
My friend, God love him, was a tight bastard and would have been buying the cheapest thing on the registry; which makes it even worse somehow.

I would think an ideal gift for the happy couple would be one on how to go NC with a toxic parent.

I attended the funeral of a nonagenarian neighbour on Friday. She was widowed and childless. Only a few of us neighbours visited her for at least the last ten years, no one else, no birthday or xmas cards except from us locals, we also cut her grass and did odd jobs around the house because we liked her.

Loads of cousins turned up to the funeral and the small do in her home afterwards, and the main topic of conversation was what happens to the house and contents. Said while necking as much food and drink as possible and looking round beady eyed at everything.

Unbelievable.

WickedStepmomNOT: that’s tremendously sad. So many stories about greedy people with no empathy.
I think the MOB is still ahead of the pack.

I’m off to start a thread on AIBU about troll-hunters.

I think, but am not absolutely sure, that people leave a percentage of their estate to charity because if they leave at least 10% of their estate to charity then death duties on the remaining estate drops from 40% to 38%.

How close was the bride and groom to your friend OP?

He will not doubt be mentioned during the speeches and many present, as presumably knew others there, will be talking about him and sharing stories about him and so on.

Disgusting behaviour from the MOTB. If it were me. who had received this text, I would ignore it and block CF number.

I also thought this was really shocking, and wondered what sort of context might lead to someone making such a tasteless request.
The one thing that I thought might prompt some women I know to send such a message would be if they were a close family member who was also grieving. So, for example, a mother who had lost her son wanted her daughter to have something from her recently deceased brother as a wedding gift. It’s a really tacky way of asking for it, but if the breakdown in the relationship was acrimonious, then maybe she didn’t think the sort-of-but-not-quite-ex would make the gesture without prompting. I don’t think you’ve explained the relationship OP, and apologies if I’ve missed it, but is there any chance that your deceased friend had the sort of relationship with the bride that means his absence at the wedding will be especially sad and noticeable? If his ex-wife is not invited, then that suggests the bride is not a mutual friend but someone notably closer to your friend. In that case, a special gift might be comforting and this is what her mother is thinking about.
Context is important if she’s to be crowned ultimate CF! And I note a previous poster referenced the Mexican House Thief, which is a high bar for ultimate cheeky fuckery.

This reminds me of shortly after my mum died, my dad came home from work to find a neighbour from up the road) who my mum had been friendly with) had let herself in to the back garden and was picking all the raspberries. When my dad asked what she was doing, she said she thought it would be a shame for them to go to waste. Poor dad just stood there and said “I would have eaten them”.

Omg that is just awful.

I used to do shopping and errands for an old lady who lived near me. When she died, I received a very friendly email from her next of kin, a distant relative, thanking me for my kindness to her relative. I replied, telling her that it had been a pleasure and I had become fond of the old lady, so please could she let me know the funeral arrangements as I would like to pay my respects and say goodbye.

She assured me she would and that it would be nice to meet those who had helped her relative in her final days (there were other neighbours who had rallied round too) as she lived far away and it had been difficult for her to do much.

Not long afterwards I received another email from her, completely different in tone, very abrupt and businesslike. She had decided not to have a funeral after all, as there were ongoing difficulties with the paperwork, and would instead hold a celebration of life at some unspecified point in the future. This was the last I heard.

When the old lady’s house finally came on the market (a chocolate box cottage in a very desirable location; worth a substantial sum) the particulars mentioned something about the proceeds going to a charitable organisation.

I couldn’t help wondering if the relative’s change in attitude coincided with her discovering who the estate was being left to.

This definitely needs a motion sensor, but one that makes the eyes follow you around the room.

Having had experience as per my previous thread - this is very very common and explains why charities may seem intrusive but actually just protecting the wishes of the deceased

People do and say weird things around death.

Never heard anything like this what a weirdo if that happened to me I would send a poundshop gift.

She never actually told me she’d done that - my BIL did, and he asked me not to say anything to her about it.
However, I DID say something when she went on to tell me that she’d have to change her will, as she didn’t want my sister’s share of her estate going to my sister’s children.

Hobestly, I could write a book about all the inappropriate, CF-ery things my mum has said and done. 😖

Suggest sensing some ashes as a present, can be thrown instead of confetti

'Get f*cked you heartless nutsack" may come close to covering it

I lost my mum in September last year and my dad passed away very unexpectedly 3 weeks ago whilst on holiday. My mums estate still isn’t settled yet so first of all good luck with that and second, the mother of the bride would have been told where she could shove any gift. That beyond disgusting behaviour.

Buy them a photoframe with a photo of the text message in it and a message from the deceased - "I can't wait to meet your mom again soon".

VortexOfDisaster: I don’t know the relationship between MOB’s family and my friend. Anyone who knew him and wanted a momento could have asked for one of the hundreds of knick-knacks he had collected over his life.
The woman asked for a specific gift to be bought from the estate. So she expected someone to run out and buy it. Who would ever ask such a thing?
A previous poster suggested she’s hoping someone will cut her a cheque.
I like the way you are hoping for the best, but I really think she’s just the worst CF in the world.

You poor thing, Flyinghigh83, what a lot of sadness to deal with.

🫤

This is bordering on worse taste than the CF.

It’s not remotely funny and, worse than that, really very disrespectful to the deceased